It's All About Soul

Weird.

It was the only word I could think of to describe it. I could only add one word to it.

Bloody weird.

Serana appeared much more interested in our surroundings. Maybe interested wasn't the right word. Fascinated? Yes, that was the word. "I'd heard stories about the Soul Cairn, but never thought I'd see it myself. So far it's about what I imagined." She looked at me. "What do you think?"

"A little weird for my tastes."

She chuckled. "How do you feel?"

I shrugged. "Fine at the moment." I gazed across the barren landscape. Everything looked dead. No surprise, really, considering this place, whatever it actually was, lacked any and all life. Lightning storms ravaged the sky near and far. There were numerous large structures in the distance. Whether they were buildings, forts or something else, I couldn't be sure. And there was no doubt the place was full to the brim with ghosts, souls or whatever you wanted to call them. There was no doubt I was the only living creature in the Soul Cairn. Serana had more life in her than anything else too.

"Sooo… Any idea where your mother might be?"

"I have no idea. She could be anywhere."

"Any idea how large this place is?"

She shrugged. "It's a plain of Oblivion, Ragnar. It's not like our mortal realm."

"You're saying it could be infinite?"

"It could be. I'm not sure."

All we could do was wander about and hope we stumbled upon her. I kept my sword in hand, erring on the side of caution. While most of the spirits we passed appeared non-hostile, it wasn't long until we ran into creatures that we could not consider friendly. Not when they ran towards us with weapons raised, intent on killing us. My skill with a sword and shield, and Serana's magical abilities, kept us safe from any real harm but the attacks, when they came, were still a nuisance.

Otherwise we followed what appeared to be a well-trodden path, walking past numerous spirits. None of them could be engaged in any real conversation, as directions to any main features of the Cairn would have been nice. Most wallowed in self-pity, or at least that was what I gathered from most comments I heard.

I'll admit part of me wanted to explore and see what else we could find. It's not like time was of any real urgency, considering Serana and I had experienced numerous delays in our mission so far. But with the Scroll so tantalisingly close, we agreed that we'd simply find her mother as soon as possible. Serana mentioned that we could always come back to the Soul Cairn in the future, though the look I returned suggested I wasn't particularly open to the idea.

We'd been walking for quite a while, continuing to wander past numerous building, checking inside to see if her mother was within, usually only finding things that wanted to kill us instead. With no real landmarks of note, I was left with the unnerving feeling that we were going around in circles. It all looked the same.

"We're making progress, Ragnar," Serana stated upon voicing my concerns.

"I'm glad you're so confident."

"I can tell you're missing part of your soul."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because a whole Ragnar would never have said that."

"I will be able to get the missing part back, right?"

"Of course. It's just…"

"Just what?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"I'm not quite sure where it is." I groaned. "But don't worry," she added quickly, "I'm sure we'll find it. Eventually…"

Well, now we were not leaving the Cairn without two things. We needed the Scroll no matter what. And we were not leaving with me being whole again. 'Never say your life isn't exciting, Ragnar.' Still, I made sure I didn't let my slight frustration show. It certainly wasn't her fault that part of my soul was somewhere else.

We must have wandered for hours, not that I complained, Serana had to trudge along just like me. I think our frustration was growing as the usual ebb and flow of our conversation finally ceased and we were soon walking along in silence. Not uncomfortable, just annoyed at the situation. I didn't think we were going to find her mother in five minutes. My life has never been that easy. But I guess I was hoping against hope that we would follow only one path and find her mother in double quick time.

"That looks promising, Ragnar," she stated sometime later after what felt like hours of silence.

"What does?"

"That building ahead. What do you think?"

We'd searched at least a dozen similar structures. What was one more? "Sure, let's take a look."

I have no idea why Serana sounded so confident about this one. But it must have been some sort of sixth sense as she literally bounded up the stairs in anticipation. I followed closely behind and it was one of the few times since meeting her that she appeared excited. "Mother?" We rounded a column of the building to see an older woman, clearly a vampire, behind some sort of barricade. "Mother!"

Her mother blinked in surprised. "By the Maker! Serana?"

Serana walked right up to the barricade. She looked back at me, her face lit up with an enormous smile. She just exuded happiness. I'd only ever seen her like this once or twice. Thankfully, I was the cause of those instances. Mind you, it was weird seeing her interact with her mother in such a way, remembering the frosty reception of her father and her own cool reaction to him in return.

"I can't believe it! How do we get inside? We need to talk."

"Serana, what are you doing here? Where's your father?"

"I don't have time to explain but he doesn't know we're here."

Her mother sighed. "I must have failed. Harkon's found a way to decipher the prophecy, hasn't he?" She finally turned my way, looking me up and down. "And you've brought a stranger here? Have you lost your mind?"

"Hang on a second, mother. Let me explain. You've got it all wrong."

"Have I?" She pointed and then gestured at me to approach. "Come forward. I would like to speak to you."

I looked at Serana, who just shrugged but her body language suggested I should do as requested. Her mother looked me up and down again, as if trying to judge my character from my appearance alone. "So how has it come to pass that a vampire hunter is in the company of my daughter? It pains me to think you'd travel with Serana under the guise her protector in an effort to hunt me down."

"How could you possibly know I'm a vampire hunter?"

She smirked. "I didn't."

"Fine. Yes, I'm a member of the Dawnguard. But Serana can tell you herself that I have done nothing but try and protect her. Although, to be fair, she can look after herself. And as for hunting you down, I don't even know who you really are."

She scoffed. "My name is Valerica. I'm a vampire. Does anything else even matter?"

"I'm here to help Serana. That's all that matters to me. As long as she is safe…"

She scoffed again. "Safe? You call bringing her here safe? Coming from one who murders vampires as a trade, I find it hard to believe your intentions are noble."

"You have no idea what my intentions are," I growled. 'Easy, Ragnar. She doesn't know you or of your… relationship with her daughter.'

"That's true. But Serana has sacrificed everything to prevent Harkon from completing the prophecy. I would have expected her to explain that to you."

"Of course she has. It's why we're here to find you."

"And why did you need to find me?" She turned and walked back to a desk, returning with a Scroll. "Does your journey here have anything to do with this?" I nodded. Adding anything else was pointless. She returned a look suggesting I was a complete fool. "You think I'd have the audacity to place my own daughter in that tomb for the protection of her Elder Scroll alone? The Scrolls are merely a means to an end. The key to the Tyranny of the Sun is Serana herself."

I had no idea what she meant. I looked at Serana, whose face reflected about a million different emotions. "What are you talking about, mother?" she asked carefully. I felt guilty to hear she sounded as clueless as I did. My stomach sank as I had the feeling a lot of truths were about to be shared.

"When I fled Castle Volkihar, I fled with two Elder Scrolls. The scroll I presume you found with Serana speaks of Auriel and his arcane weapon, Auriel's Bow. The second scroll declares that 'The Blood of Coldharbour's Daughter will blind the eye of the Dragon.'"

"And what does this have to do with Serana?" I asked, already knowing that I didn't want to hear the answer.

"Like myself, Serana was a human once. And we were devout followers of Lord Molag Bal. Tradition dictates that females be offered to Molag Bal on his summoning day. Very few survive the ordeal. Those that do emerge as a pure-blooded vampire. We call such confluences the 'Daughters of Coldharbour.'"

I looked at Serana and it was the first time in a long time that she didn't meet my eyes. I knew immediately that it was something we'd have to talk about later. And I knew it was going to be a conversation that neither of us would enjoy. 'So they haven't always been vampires? Why did they choose to do it? And did she actually do it willingly?' "So you're telling me that Serana underwent the ritual willingly?" I asked her mother, but kept my eyes on Serana. She did everything possible not to meet my eyes. As far as I was concerned, that answered my question regarding what Serana thought.

"It was expected of her, just as it was expected of me. Being selected as an offering to Molag Bal is an honour. She wouldn't have dared turn her back on that."

"I didn't hear a yes in that response."

"Think whatever you want of me. But Serana received the greatest gift a mother could give."

I scoffed but kept any further opinion to myself. Arguing about the rights and wrongs would have been pointless. "Does my father mean to kill me?"

"If Harkon obtains Auriel's Bow and your blood is used to taint the weapon, the Tyranny of the Sun would be complete. In his eyes," she sighed, "Yes, the sacrifice of his own daughter would be seen as for the good of all vampires."

"Over my dead body," I stated.

Her mother laughed at me. I was used to be laughed at whenever I said something like that. 'Why do people never take me seriously when I say things like that?' "And how exactly do you plan on completing the prophecy without the death of my daughter?"

"I'll kill the bastard with my bare hands if necessary. Harkon will not touch a hair on her head."

I noticed Serana look at me with a slight smile on her face. I meant every word. Her mother, on the other hand, laughed again. "If you believe that, then you're a bigger fool than I originally suspected. Don't you think I weighed that option before I enacted my plans?"

I gestured towards Serana. "Have you ever wondered what your daughter thought about all of this?"

"You care nothing for Serana or our plight."

That riled me completely, balling my fists and I took a step forward. On the tip of my tongue was simply blurting out my rather obvious feelings for her. I know she's a vampire. I've spent weeks with her by now. And with every damned day that passes, I love her that little bit more. Despite the fact she's technically undead. Despite the fact she's a vampire, something I was apparently meant to hate. And even with the barricade in place, she took an involuntary step backwards as I no doubt had a look of murder in my eyes. "Enough, mother! You have no idea what Ragnar has done for me since I woke up. But what I do know is that he's done more for me in the brief time I've known him than you've done in centuries!" Serana added.

Now her mother turned towards her daughter, near fury on her face. "How dare you! I gave up everything I cared about to protect you from that fanatic you call a father!"

"Far as I'm concerned, you're as bad as her father," I stated.

Her mother glared daggers at me as Serana spoke up. "And he's still my father. How can you not understand that? Ragnar will keep me safe but I don't want to kill him."

"Serana, the moment your father discovers your role in the prophecy, that he needs your blood, you'd be in terrible danger."

It was clear she'd had enough. I had to hold back the smirk as she now let rip with everything she had been thinking since the day I found her. "So to protect me, you decided to shut me away from everything I cared about?"

"Serana…"

She didn't stop as she pointed a defiant finger. "You never asked me if hiding in that tomb was the best course of action, you just expected me to follow you blindly. Both of you were obsessed with your own paths. Your motivations might have been different, but in the end, I'm still just a pawn to you, too. I want us to be a family again. But I don't know if we can ever have that. Maybe we don't deserve that kind of happiness. Come to think of it, I don't think we do. Not after everything we've done. Not after everything that's happened. But we have to stop him before he goes too far. And to do that, we need the Elder Scroll. So are you going to help us or not?"

The desire to wrap her in a hug again was near overwhelming. I didn't miss the fact she wiped her cheeks afterwards, looking at me with tear-filled, bloodshot eyes. In that instant, my heart broke for her. So I thought 'Stuff it', grabbed her hand, brought her in close and gave her a hug. Her mother didn't say a thing as I felt her arms wrap around me for a few brief seconds before she let go, looking me in the eyes and giving me another one of those warm grins. "Thank you, Ragnar. You've always been there for me," she said softly, caressing my cheek at the same time.

I nearly kissed her again, there and then, at the look she gave me and the feel of her palm on my face. 'Does she feel the same way?' I looked at her mother and there was no missing the shock on her face. "I'm so sorry," she said quietly.

"So are you going to help us or not?" Serana asked again, rather harshly. Quite understandable, as far as I was concerned.

Her mother nodded. "If you want the Elder Scroll, it's yours." She then turned to me, a curious look on her face. "I'll admit I am surprised by your intentions. They appear noble but… Well, you appear concerned for my daughter's welfare and that is all I can ask for at the moment. I'll give you the Scroll but there's a problem."

"The barricade?"

"Exactly. You need to locate the tallest of the rocky spires that surround these ruins. At their bases, the barrier's energy is being drawn from unfortunate souls that have been exiled here. Destroy the three Keepers that are tending them, and it should bring the barrier down."

"Very well. We'll be back shortly."

I turned and wandered away, leaving Serana to share any private words with her mother. But she didn't, following me immediately as I surveyed the area in our vicinity and then the distance, figuring out where these Keepers were located. Whatever they were, I assumed they were not going to be easy to defeat. But I'd faced down dragons so figured a trio of Keepers shouldn't be too much trouble.

I then felt a hand take mine again. "Ragnar …" I looked at her and I could see the conflict on her face and in her eyes. I wondered what she was going to say. "I think we need to talk when we get home."

"Home?"

She smiled. "Yes. Breezehome."

"What do we need to talk about?"

The smile didn't disappear. "I know you have questions about all of this." I nodded, as she was right. "When we get home, I'll answer any questions you have." She squeezed my hand. "Absolutely anything," she added quietly. My stomach sank as I think I knew what she meant, opening my mouth once or twice to say something but, for once, words absolutely failed me. Then she hugged me again. I was getting quite used to the feeling. "Thank you for everything," she whispered.

She'd never have to thank me for anything.

*****

"Sooo… That's a Keeper then?"

It was another stupid question in a long line of them uttered by Ragnar of Whiterun, the Last Dragonborn, Harbinger of the Companions, Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold and... I'm sure I've missed a title or two in there but you know what I mean. I sometimes ask dumb questions. Sometimes to other people. Sometimes just to myself.

Anyway, the Keeper was enormous. Not as large as the giants I'd seen around Skyrim, but certainly far larger than either Serana or myself. I already had my sword in hand, ready to swing, though neither I or Serana had made a move to attack. Or, at least, we hadn't yet.

"Head on, Ragnar?"

I smirked, not taking my eyes off the Keeper. "You know me well."

"Keep its attention. I'll assist however I can."

"So that means I'm the pawn in your little game?"

There was no reply as I heard her laugh as she moved away. The Keeper was armed with a shield and what appeared to be an enormous mace. I knew any hit of that mace on my shield was going to hurt if not damned near break my arm. And the Keeper proved it wasn't dumb, noticing Serana move away and made some sort of noise. It wasn't long before I heard noise and knew that more enemies were joining the fray.

I banged my sword against shield and beckoned the Keeper forward. "Let's see what you've got."

The creature simply laughed, a low, guttural sound that would have caused chills to crawl up the spine of most people. While I thought the Soul Cairn was slightly creepy, I'd certainly fought scarier and perhaps tougher enemies. I guess I'd find out in a few seconds.

Damn, it moved quick! I had to back away then dodged to my right as a mace flew where I had just been standing. I immediately retaliated with a swipe of my shield, the creature lifting its shield to parry to blow before forcing me back again. It then swivelled and raised its shield to block a magic attack from Serana. I followed up immediately with a number of sword swings, the Keeper using its shield and mace to block everything.

I then heard Serana shout out and glanced to see she was taking care of the other enemies heading our way. "Take care of the Keeper. I'll handle the rest!"

I'm not sure who was getting the rougher end of the deal but, knowing my back was protected, I went on the offensive. I put everything I'd learned over the years into the swing of my sword and movement of my shield. Yes, a glancing blow of the Keepers mace really bloody hurt whenever it impacted with my shield, but I swallowed down the pain and used it as fuel to ensure I would emerge victorious. I'd faced bigger, stronger, tougher enemies than this Keeper. I was the Dragonborn! Slayer of Alduin!

So I used my Voice and simply blew the Keeper over the edge of the building, stepping to the edge to see its body far below. It didn't move, clearly dead.

"That's cheating, Ragnar!"

"It worked, didn't it?" I asked as I joined her in taking out the remaining enemies.

"Here I was, expecting to watch you skilfully take the Keeper down with your sword and shield."

"I didn't want to waste my time."

At least I knew the easy way out regarding the next two. Serana mentioned on the way to the next tower that she was only joking. She didn't have to actually say that, as she said she always marvelled at the power of my Voice, having never seen anything like it in her life before. As I said, I wanted all of this over and done with. And, to be honest, I wanted out of the Soul Cairn as quickly as possible. Part of my soul was already missing and I had no idea what being in the Soul Cairn was doing to the rest of me. I dreaded to think of the worst outcome, therefore did my best to try and think positively. 'I'll be fine. Absolutely fine. No worries whatsoever.'

We found the second Keeper armed with an enormous battle-axe. I couldn't stifle the groan, knowing the ensuing battle could end up with me ending with no head, arms or legs. Or missing all my extremities if the Keeper so desired.

"Are you going to use your Voice?" Serana asked.

"Probably."

"It's cheating, Ragnar."

The Keeper charged at us, causing Serana and I to split up. "I don't really feel like getting into a long drawn out fight with these Keepers. I just want the Scroll."

"And here I was thinking you fought all these creatures just to impress me."

If the Keeper hadn't been so dangerous and capable of taking my head, I know I would have stopped dead in my tracks and looked at her completely and utterly dumbfounded. Instead, I just said "I have no idea what you mean. I just don't want to die."

It was partially true, at least, though avoided the other fact we both probably knew about the other. Instead, we found ourselves surrounded by other enemies summoned by the Keeper, so we made sure to take care of them first before turning our attention to the Keeper. Now that both Serana and I were free to do what we pleased, I figured I'd only usually my Voice if the whole venture went to pot.

"Keep him occupied. I'll do what I can otherwise," she said quietly.

Though a battle-axe was a fearsome weapon, I'd always found enemies armed with two-handed weapons far easier to handle than those armed with a sword and shield or those who chose to use magic. The only problem I faced was the fact the Keeper wasn't wild with its swings. I didn't have to raise my shield as it was easy enough to see what the Keeper was going to do but it was still dangerous. But the fact the Keeper was so focused on me, it didn't see Serana quietly circle around and therefore no prepared for the attack from behind.

A series of shocks caused the Keeper to collapse to its knees, dropping its battle-axe, making it easy picking for me as I drove my shield through its chest.

"One more," I stated.

"Next time, just use your Voice."

"Are you no longer impressed?" I asked, unable to keep the sarcasm at bay.

"Even I just want to get out of here, Ragnar."

I just looked at her and smiled. "Fair enough. No more games."

So I used my Thu'um on the third Keeper. Walking down to the bottom of the tower, I picked up the bow from the body. "What do you think?" I asked as I looked over the weapon.

"I'm handy with a bow but you know magic is my forte."

"I was actually thinking about Lydia."

Serana looked confused for a second. "Oh, your Housecarl?"

"Yes. She's handy with a bow. So is Aela, come to think of it. It would make a terrific gift for either of them."

"Are you saying you want to take this bow, Ragnar?"

"Do you mind carrying it until we get home?"

Another smile in a long list that I'd seen recently. "Give it here. I'll keep it safe." She looked it over herself. "May even have to give it a try before I hand it back."

I laughed. "Not a bad idea. Come on, we should get back to our mother."

She was waiting for us to return, the barricade once holding her as prisoner having disappeared. I wasn't expecting a tearful family reunion and didn't get one. If anything, Serana hovered rather close to me as we approached Valerica. And her mother noticed, giving me another strange look before what I gathered was a respectful nod of appreciation.

"Obviously the Keepers are dead."

"I'm impressed."

"Thanks."

"Your name is Ragnar?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She smirked at the 'ma'am'. "So just who are you exactly?"

I looked at Serana and she nodded, I guess saying it'll be okay. "What would you like to know?"

"Well, you're clearly no ordinary mercenary. And, if you're a vampire hunter, you give them a bad name. I can sense the taint of lycanthropy though you've been cured. Other than that… There is certainly something about you that I can't put my finger on."

"I'm Dragonborn."

I watched the jaw drop. I liked surprising people with that detail. I wouldn't say there was a new found respect but at least she knew I was serious. "So what are your intentions regarding my daughter?"

"I intend to protect her from Harkon and anyone else who dare try and harm her."

"Including those in the Dawnguard?"

"Yes. Serana can look after herself but she is under my protection, including from those in the Dawnguard."

She looked at Serana. "And what do you think of all this?"

"Ragnar is my friend and I know he'll do anything to keep me safe."

Her mother looked at me again and I knew she was now more than aware of my feelings toward Serana. I was now fairly sure Serana knew too, and may have even felt the same way, but it was something that would remain unspoken between us until either of us felt comfortable or confident to broach the subject. But I knew her mother knew. As far as I was concerned, it was bloody obvious.

"So what do we do now?"

"I can't just give you the Scroll."

"Why not?" Serana asked.

"Because the custodians of this place ensured the Scroll was ensnared here, linked to myself and a creature which exists in what is called the Boneyard. I can give you the Scroll but you won't be able to live with it until that creature is defeated."

"What sort of creature?"

"Something which you should be more then capable of taking down, Dragonborn."

'Great. Another bloody dragon…' I sighed. "Alright. Let's get this over and done with then."