XLVI
Five days had passed since the tragedy that had struck Agnés's heart, and Adrien had spent them all at his friend's side, locked up in the orphanage.
He had spent more time with Felix and, more importantly, had been visited by his friends several times.
They had just finished the dinner talking about what would be the right thing to do, Bruno had revealed to him that Bernadette spent her days helping Antoinette in the choices for the wedding, but that the princess, with a dull and absent look, was not the same as before, she didn't even confide in her anymore.
Everyone around that table had supported their love, everyone had said they were ready to sacrifice themselves for their friend. They would help him even if it meant dying.
Adrien had quietly walked away and went to look out a distant window. His arms were resting on the ledge and in his hands was still the object that Antoinette had given him. He sniffed it to smell its perfume again and he also watched it move in the wind, but keeping it firmly in his grip.
Bruno looked at it and felt tremendously useless to his best friend. How could he help him? Was there really anything he could do to help him?
He walked over to the blond and put a hand on his shoulder, before taking a position at his side and searching with her eyes for what he was seeing out there. She saw him hide the object he was playing with in a fist.
<< You know I cannot ask you to risk your life and freedom. My liberation is your salvation, if I show up again you would be in danger again.>> Adrien sighed.
<< Look at them, do you think they would stop at that? We are brothers, Adrien, we can't see you in this condition anymore. Whatever price you have to pay, you can't pay it alone and always try to protect everyone.>> Replied a Bruno more convinced than ever. << Those crimes we did together and for less noble reasons than yours. >>
<< Yes, but you would never have kidnapped the princess.>> He emphasized.
<< None of us stopped you.>> She pointed out to him.
<< I remember when you came back at night and you were never yourself, you were always either drunk or high, I remember what it was like when there wasn't even a shadow of her. You were just the specter of a person. You only had life in your eyes when I saw you looking at her for the first time, when you hit me with the back of your hand on my chest making me almost die, you pinned me down and forced me to look at her and then follow her. And now, do you think I should give up helping you?
You have to react man, you've had time now, you have to leave behind all that has been and don't blame yourself yet.>> She turned her head to look at him, sighed and went back to the others. He knew it would be better to let him think for himself now.
Yeah, he remembered the time before her, too. He also remembered when he had started to desire her but he believed it was nothing special, nothing important, he still didn't miss her if she wasn't with him.
His thoughts were interrupted by a figure that had unintentionally entered his field of vision. He saw her walking away from everyone, with the dull look she had since that morning.
He had often thought about Agnés in these last days, about how she wasn't the same, how she had been vulnerable and yet ready to help him. He wasn't himself anymore either. He had also thought that if she was the only one, he would gladly give himself to her, if there was no true love in his life. If she had been the angel, if she had picked him up sooner from that corner of despair that had glutted him. If the other night had been a night so many years before.
If, if, if.
No, it wasn't in him anymore, he would never have had these thoughts about Agnés before.
Perhaps the beatings he had received and the cuts he had just healed had led him to make absurd reasoning.
You are a false hero.
She had told him during that night where he had let her peek into his soul.
Without thinking he left the room to join her and put the tape in his pants pocket. Passing through the corridor he saw her in the room where Amélie's bed had been replaced but not yet filled. He stopped on the door jamb, resting his shoulder and arms crossed over his chest.
<< Life is strange, it never goes the way you want it to.>> sighed the woman.
Adrien was surprised, he didn't think she would notice his presence so easily.
<< I'm also a very bad cat.>> He tried to joke.
<< Actually a cat would never let himself be discovered so easily.>> She forced a smile and turned completely towards him, but she didn't expect to have him so close. She raised her head to look at him and rested her palms on his broad chest.
Adrien took his arms in his hands and stroked them, going up and down between his elbow and shoulder.
The tension of those days was going to kill him and she had helped him to survive in spite of the absence of his princess, she had really made him smile, because in those moments with her he was fine, because that night he had prayed the morning wouldn't come.
<< If she hadn't been there...>> He began to whisper after resting his forehead on hers and closing his eyes.
<< Don't say that, please. It would have been only a half-love ours and then it would have become a memory and I never wanted that.>>
Yes, he could understand her. They would have lasted much longer as friends.
<< I didn't lose you, I only lost the dream of a love I wanted to have in my life. I go on anyway if you're not there, it's you who without her seems a shadow.>> She caressed his cheek, softly.
<< You're just confused because of the affection and the days spent together. This is just the easiest way, it's not our way.>> She said, with a sweet smile.
Which way? He saw only desert. And it was perhaps for this reason that he felt like agreeing with her.
<< Sorry, I'm not myself.>>
And he wasn't referring to those only two glasses of wine he had sent down in company.
They smiled at each other and hugged tightly.
<< Excuse me, I have to put the children to bed.>> Margot faced the door, mortified at having disturbed them.
<
This was ridiculous.
He wasn't the type to take shortcuts. He wouldn't settle for half-loves for fear of getting the real thing, and he especially wouldn't drag a dear friend like Agnès into his cowardice.
He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get it back.
Agnés watched him leave the room, with a loving smile, the same one she used to look at her sister with.
Her green eyes were beautiful, but they weren't for her, she would never feel comfortable living there, she would always feel like too much, surrounded by only sadness.
She helped Margot put the besties in their beds and said goodnight, then went back to the others. Now she felt more at peace with herself.
When she walked through the door she saw him bent over the table with his palms resting and the confident look he had when explaining a plan to his crew.
This was her Adrien. She recognized, on his hand, again that sun-colored bandage.
<< So there will be a ball at the palace tomorrow? >> The blond asked.
<< That's what Bernadette told me.>> Bruno answered.
<
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<< Bernadette will let me in.>> He nodded with conviction.
<< So, you'll go in and control the situation from the inside, you'll go to the garden fence and you'll tell me when I can go in, Bernadette will warn us of any danger, I'll sneak into the princess's room, I know which one it is and Bernadette will have to find a way to make her stay there without making her suspicious.>> He said enthusiastically about his plan.
<< Can it be done? I also ask for Bernadette, I realize I'm putting her in a lot of danger but...>>
<< There are no problems, you know.>> Bruno reassured him.
<< We will stay outside to keep watch, just in case.>> Said David.
Adrien took the glass of wine he had filled just before and raised it with an outstretched arm.
<< Guys I wanted to thank you, seriously, you are fantastic and I also wanted to take advantage of this to remember the lives that have been mercilessly broken because of this situation and because of a distraction of mine. They were friends, trusted companions, Amélie was like a sister to me and they were all part of my family. I will remember them all with eternal affection and I promise that their lives will not have been sacrificed in vain.>>
Everyone around the table imitated her gesture.
<< I'll drink too.>> Agnés said approaching them.
Adrien looked at her smiling gratefully. It was important to him that she supported him and that she did not blame him for his sister's death.
During the toast, the two smiled at each other in complicity. It was strange how their relationship had evolved, but it wasn't bad at all, they both thought.
Before drinking they all tapped the base of the glass on the table, then finished the contents in one gulp.