November 30, 2020 Monday
Hello Self!
Hope you doing well. I took a break yesterday so that you won't have to get bored by listening to my nonsense chit chats everyday. Well, it's the last day of November. And from tomorrow, the last month will start. And with this, I can proudly say that i spent one more month without doing nothing. Just ruining my time here and there. Scrolling on boys and getting rejected, that's what is all left now. I talked to another guy today. He is cute but he thinks me only as a friend. Haha how hurting. Well, who really cares about feelings? Especially me! I am so hurt till now that I can't get hurt anymore. So, when such incidents happen, it feels bad but it doesn't affect anymore. My all feelings are locked inside now. And well, I think I am moving on. I called my ex as bro. And it has always been my theory, if I call someone as bro or sis, I won't have any romantic relationship or feelings for them. Nad I think, it will help me move on so easily. And it is! Today, we talked a little but it didn't feel like hurting. It was just normal. Like two friends do. And yeah, something very special happened today. I ended up in a debate with someone who considered homosexuality as a sin. It was a long end debate. I wish I could show them all to you haha. It was really a great debate. At the end, She said that their country doesn't accept homosexuality, that's all.
And guess what!? Her country is in the top 10 countries who favour gay rights. Even my country isn't on that top.
It was really a long debate dude.
And well, I can show you her last message.
"I have learned about you and your beliefs....thank you for sharing your toughts...your a witty young man...God bless you!"
Like dude really! You could have just said that you dont have any thoughts left. But no! You just tried to act cool. Like I was a fool and I did a fcking great job.
After that, I talked to some of my friends. They were as funnny as always. Love them dude! They are really great. Atleast they accept me. That's enough for me. But there is one disadvantage I felt. Now for them, I am nothing else but just a gay guy. That hurts actually and you know! It is sad haha... Well, what else can I do except laughing. Such a conservative society I have.
And also, today .. It was a holiday. So, I ended up watching YouTube videos and lying in bed. That's what holiday means to me. Bed and YouTube. I am still studying. And as per my condition, I should study and I am having fun and not even looking at books. That hurts actually. When your exams are close and you don't even know your syllabus. Like come on, it's not good. You must study. And I think, I will study. More and more.
As I told you earlier, it's winters here. And the weather is getting colder everyday. It fcking feels like a freezer. So cold like I am not a hill station. Warm clothes are not enough. We need more layers lol.
But I do like winters. Hiding inside a blanket, waking up late, you can skip bathes 🤣🤣(tho you shouldn't)
and many more perks of winters.
There is just only one thing lacking. We don't have snowfall. Like we will have the coldest weather, but not the snow. It's due to the geographical location. We are close to snow peaked mountains to have winters, but far enough to not have snowfall. So, we can't enjoy making snowman lol. I sometimes made snowman with mud. Well.. it would be better to call him mudman or soilman haha.. you can call him landman(landmine) too 😅😅.
And things are really getting out of hands. So on the last day of November, I pledge that I will study hard and won't catch a cold. If I end up dating someone, I will try my best to give him all the love i can. Even tho I am not made to love, but there is no problem in trying it again and again even of you are going to fail.
Failing is ok, but not trying is NEVER ok.
Ok then, it's all for today. See you in next month, means tomorrow haha.. Same thing lol.
Bbye. Good night. 😘