Chapter 271

Pearl opened her eyes and saw an envelope on the bedside table. She picked it up and saw it had her name on it.

Inside was a handwritten letter.

"My angel, my all, my very self… Why this profound sorrow, when necessity speaks — can our love endure without sacrifices, without our demanding everything from one another; can you alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, that I am not wholly yours? — Dear God, look at Nature in all her beauty and set your heart at rest about what must be — Love demands all, and rightly so… No doubt we shall meet soon; and today also time fails me to tell you of the thoughts which during these last few days I have been revolving about my life — If our hearts were always closely united, I would certainly entertain no such thoughts. My heart overflows with a longing to tell you so many things — Oh — there are moments when I find that speech is quite inadequate — Be cheerful — and be forever my faithful, my only sweetheart, my all, as I am yours. The gods must send us everything else, whatever must and shall be our fate —Even when I am in bed my thoughts rush to you, my immortal beloved, now and then joyfully, then again sadly, waiting to know whether Fate will hear our prayer — To face life I must live altogether with you or never see you… Oh God, why must one be separated from her who is so dear. Be calm; for only by calmly considering our lives can we achieve our purpose to live together — be calm — love me — Today — yesterday — what tearful longing for you — for you — you — my life — my all — all good wishes to you — Oh, do continue to love me — never misjudge your lover's most faithful heart.

ever thine

ever mine

ever ours."

Pearl knew it well. It was Beethoven's Immortal Beloved letter.

On another page was written, "I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I am a flawed and damaged man. I should have told you. I foolishly believed it would never surface. And if I am to be honest, you came into my life and made me forget. The pain, the mistakes, the heartache and the guilt. To me, there is only you. I swear to you that there are no more secrets. You know everything now.

Begin with me. Abide with me. Be my wife and let me love you as you deserve, as you desire. I am so, so sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me." It read. "I will be waiting for you by Van Gogh's bedroom. If you never arrive, I will allow you to annul this marriage and you'll never have to see me again. But if you come to me, I'm never letting you go. Forever yours, Erik."

There was a knock at the door. Pearl got up and saw it was Sebastian.

"I wanted to see that you were alright before I left today and before you go to Detroit." He said. He looked so strong and clean and perfect. He was the Lancelot in this story of her life. Erik was Arthur and Rhys... Mordred. She thought, and giggled to herself. But Bash, he really was a knight. A beautiful, shiny knight on a white horse that had everything a woman could want or need. Gallantry. Chivalry. Beauty. He was the perfect, regal and proper man. She knew he would make someone very happy someday. But not her. She knew the story well.

These violent delights have violent ends, as Shakespeare wrote. And she knew she made the risky choices. The choices that ultimately would destroy her in the end. But after her first marriage, she made a vow to herself to always follow her heart, no matter the risk or the pain. And she was going to do just that, give her heart wholly to the man her heart desired until there wasn't anything else left to give. Maybe Bash was the right choice. Maybe he was the safe choice. The best choice. And she knew he wanted her. But it was Erik. It was always Erik.

"Thank you for checking on me." She said, giving him a big hug.

He smiled and nodded. "Call me when you get back to the UK. Let's have lunch and catch up on things. Bring that old man of yours if he's still around." He said, winking. "And if you need me, I will be there, by your side, whenever you call. I promised you that and I meant it." He said, bowing. "Goodbye, Princess."

"Goodbye, Lancelot." She said. He looked at her and cocked his head to the side. He smiled and nodded. "Indeed I am, aren't I?" He asked. She nodded and smiled as he left.