Chapter 439

Erik opened his eyes and shielded them from the light peeking in from the slight opening in the curtains. He looked to his right and saw her face, peacefully sleeping in his arms, seeing the reality in front of him. It wasn't a dream. He smiled. His angel. His queen. His soulmate. Lying naked in his arms again. He felt tears forming and tried to stop them. He was glad he had these few stolen moments, just for him, in the early morning light. She would wake soon. She would regret it, no doubt. Cursing herself and him for letting it happen. Telling him it was a mistake. Breaking his heart in pieces all over again.

But, he thought, this wasn't just about his grateful and soon to be broken heart. It was about love, real love. The kind only poets have begun to explain. The kind that lasts for lifetimes. Through heartbreak. Through pain. Through aging. This is about the next 20 years of his life and how he would die, old and happy, like this, in her arms. No matter the cost. That's what he wanted. But he learned the hard way it was never about what he wanted. His years of selfishness were long over. However she responded when she awoke would be something he would have to deal with. However painful.

He ran his hands along her body, remembering each curve and learning the new lines. She had aged so well, she was like a goddess. Wiser now, more beautiful than ever with each year. He couldn't believe it himself, how someone could love another like this. So strongly. She stirred and he felt his heart fall into his gut. Not long now, he thought. She opened her eyes and looked at him. The fear and panic began to take over in his mind. He was prepared to react, to understand her regret. To try, anyway. But she didn't look angry. Her eyes were calm. She smiled. Oh god! She smiled.

"Good morning." She said.

He thought he might lose control and squeeze her to death. But he calmed himself and said, "Good morning, nightingale." His heart was pounding so hard he thought he might have an attack. She leaned up onto her elbows and looked around at the clothes and blankets strewn about.

"Always making a mess of things, I see." She said with a laugh.

He smiled. "Indeed." He said. She looked over at him and kissed him gently.

"I meant everything I said to you. I love you, Erik. I forgive you. And I don't think I can go back to the way it was the day before. The year before. I should feel guilt but I don't. We are both awful people but we deserve each other. And I can't walk away again." She said. He thought his heart would burst. He pulled her into his arms and held her as tightly as he could.

"I won't let you go again." He said.

"Don't." She said back. He exhaled and twenty years disappeared. This was a new love. This was a new start.

He rolled her onto her back and made love to her again, only gentler this time and with many more smiles.

********************

"So you're going to tell him? Just like that, I have everything Ive waited for, longed for, for twenty years?" Erik was in disbelief.

"Yes. I'm going to tell him and end things. You're right. It's not fair to him. I love him, but not in any comparison to this. It never was. I always chose you." She said.

"It's awful. He doesn't deserve it." Erik said.

"I know that. I could just stay with him and forget this weekend ever happened. But at what cost? What is worse? The truth? Or a lie? I am done with lies. Done." She said. He smiled and finished his tea.

"Alright then. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I will stay in secret if I must. I will give up everything all over again. But I love you. And I won't live without you one more day." He said. It was his truth.

"Good." She said. "Then it's settled."

Erik looked at her in disbelief. "You are fucking with me, aren't you? It isn't this easy. How is it this easy?" He asked.

She put her hand over his. "You've spent the last two decades working your ass off to be a better man. I see it. You've groveled and become hated. This wasn't easy." She said.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Please. Please be serious. I can't take any more heartbreak. Please don't say any of this if you don't mean it." He begged. She stood up and walked over to him, straddling him in his chair, sitting down on his lap. Security and staff looking on, she turned his face to hers and kissed him.

"I'm telling him when he comes into town at the end of the month. I'm divorcing him. It's over. I can't love you like this, still and be with him. It isn't fair. Now take me upstairs and make love to me before we go and find a place for the king to marry his love in private, like we did." She smiled.

He picked her up and carried her upstairs.

"You don't have to tell me twice." He said as he slapped her bottom and laid her down on the bed.

"I'm happy. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy." She said.

"I can." He said, pulling her to him. "Every moment I spent with you."

She smiled and kissed him.