Chapter 438

And hour had passed with her sitting on the stairs, remembering the years. The pain. His telling her he loved her even with a gun pointed at his head. Even when she told him their son wasn't his. The tears he shed even after that. The pacing outside the palace. Groveling in Wyoming. Taking the entire world's hatred and slander. For 20 years. Almost 20 years of it and he was still here, begging for forgiveness. Are we, as humans, that defined by our pasts that we cannot truly forgive one another? After proof of their change and their suffering and remorse? He lost everything but he only focused on one of those things. Her. It was always her. And could she forgive? Truly forgive? Could they be friends? Was there more?

Pearl walked up to his room after collecting her thoughts and pulling herself together. He was right. She wasn't perfect either.

His door was ajar. She peeked in and saw him sitting on a large chair by the window, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

"Come in," he said quietly.

She walked close to where he was. He didn't look at her but spoke.

"I rarely drink, in fact, this is the third glass of scotch I've had in a decade."

She walked over to him.

He looked defeated. Sad. This beautiful man, still youthful and handsome even in his fifties, looked worn down. His thick hair was ruffled about his head and his beard needed trimmed. She remembered how handsome he was when she first met him. So polished. So clean.

"Tell me, Pearl. Tell me something. I won't ask for anything else after. I promise. I know I don't deserve it, but please, I need an answer." His voice wavered as he spoke.

"What is it?" She asked.

"20 years. 20 years of my life is gone. Years I could have spent with you. With a family. I could have tried to move on with another woman but why? Just so I could destroy her because I only truly loved you?"

She cleared her throat.

"Tell me, Pearl." He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "No anger. No carrying anything with the answer. The truth. Just between us. Just tell me… tell the man in front of you, just as he is, that it was all a lie. That you never loved me. Tell me that you never loved me so that I can at least try to let go of some of this weight I carry in my heart." He looked up at her, sadness filling his eyes, desperate for her answer.

"I cannot." She was barely able to say the words and they sounded foreign to her as she said them, trying to make them sound audible enough for him to hear.

"You can't tell me?" He asked, running his hands through his hair.

"No. I can't say it was all a lie. I can't say I never loved you. I did."

He sighed and gave a half smile.

A moment passed.

"And I still do," she said. His eyes grew large and he looked at her for a long moment before putting his drink down and standing up, walking to her.

"It was never over. And it never will be." He said, pulling her face into his hands and kissing her. She returned his kiss and pulled him closer to her. Their embrace was desperate and frantic. He pulled her sweater over her head and kissed her neck, his mouth covering every inch of her collar bones and onto her chest.

"Nightingale." He whispered as they dropped to the floor in front of the fireplace.

He wasted no time removing their clothes, still half dressed, he pulled her close to him as he lowered himself between her legs.

"Erik. Erik this isn't right." She breathed the words into his ear.

"I don't fucking care. Not anymore." He said, pulling her panties down and positioning himself to enter her.

"You. I have you. Nothing else matters or will again. I should have believed that, lived by that all those years ago, I'd have never lost you." He said.

"You never lost me." She said. He looked into her eyes and began to cry, kissing her and finding himself at her opening. He thrust gently and entered her, crying out and pulling her body into his arms as he rocked himself inside of her.

"Erik…" she whispered.

"I love you. I've always loved you." He said.

"I love you, too."

She felt the tears falling from her eyes. So much relief from the pain she had carried all these years.

"I forgive you." She said. "I forgive me."

He drove himself deeper inside of her. "I have wanted to be this close to you, all these years. To be one again." He said.

"So have I." She said, feeling her climax coming on and digging her nails into his shoulders as he cried out in pure bliss.

"You're mine. My Pearl. Give it to me. Give me your release. Your pain. Your love." He said. His words and care pushed her over the edge as she felt the waves of her pleasure wash over her. He cried out again and she felt the pulse of his orgasm filling her as well.

"I love you." He whispered into her ear as he continued to fill her with every drop of what he had left. They both stayed there, physically intertwined and catching their breath, sobbing and clinging to one another, their clothes strewn out all over the floor and their hearts raw and exposed for the first time in years.