Chapter 2: Ahliyah

Trigger warning: Do not read if this if you have or had suicidal thoughts.

Elias and I were sitting in a booth waiting for our breakfast. He claimed that he was welcoming me back home, but this wasn't home. This was a pretty version of hell and I just wanted a way out. He also said this was the best way for us to talk because if I had it my way, we would not be doing any of this. Our breakfast came moment later, all I could focus on was putting the food in my mouth. We ate in silence, I wasn't worried about what Elias had to say or what he wanted to say, I was just more focused on my food and not him.

" The old shop is fixed. At the moment I'm working there, you could work there too. You could also stay with me until you're ready to leave too," He sighed. Elias ran his hands through his hair and looked at me. Sadness and pain were behind those eyes and it was my fault. " I know things are different now and I know things with your mom have not been well, but you can stay. I've always wanted you to stay." Elias shifted in the booth and he smiled.

I pushed my food away losing my appetite. He wanted to talk about this now, I didn't have enough time to finish eating. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach and I didn't know what I was supposed to do with the feeling, so I sat there waiting. Waiting for the right words, waiting for my heart to stop beating fast in my chest.

" Are you going to say anything. We have a lot of catching up to do, you think coming back and running away from your problems is going to make everything go away, its not. It will only make problems worse." Elias said calmly. I remained quiet because we did have a lot to talk about, but he didn't know anything from about what had happened here.

When I left, I made sure not to say anything about what I had gone through. But, Elias was trying to figure me out like he knew who I was, he didn't. He didn't know who I was because I've changed.

" There's nothing to say. I left because it was the best option given to me in that moment of time. And my mother needed me. She's sick, Elias, and the only reason I am here is to make things right with that man I call a dad. I'm not running and I never was its just being back here.. in Florida doesn't feel right." My chest began to tighten and my palms began to sweat.

I walked out the restaurant and paced outside the door. I had to remind myself to breathe and to count slowly. I did think about it though, I thought about all the people I left behind and the ones that could've been more than friends, but I also thought about what I had to go through.

Listening to drunken slurs in the middle of the night and beer cans pop every single night was the reason I left, but Elias thought he knew everything. Thought he knew how I cried myself to sleep at night hoping to not get kicked out and put on the street, or how I tried to kill myself because I thought I deserved something better than this. But, I had to come here and visit a man who drank himself into a drunken stupor. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair.

Elias rushed out the door holding my hands. " Breathe. Calm down. I'm sorry I didn't know being here bothered you that much. I was just saying stop pushing me away and allow me to help you. Allow me to be with you."

I reminded myself everything was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay. Elias was just trying to do what he thought was best for me, and I had to learn to be okay with that. He drove me to the body shop, as we got out the car, I could see the differences. Motorcycles and cars lined the entrance inside and the shop had tiled floors.

I went to the back of the shop wondering if what I had left here was still there. My motorcycle sat in the back covered waiting to be touched. " I haven't fixed it yet, but I will. I'm glad you like this though." Elias blushed. I rushed into his arms giving him a big hug and I forgot how warm he was. Elias moved back a little bit to give us some space, but he never let me go.

I looked at him. It was my first time actually looking at him. He let his black hair grow out, but nothing else changed. He was still the same Elias. Even though I was trying my hardest to forget everything I have been through, one thing I couldn't forget was how I felt when I was with him. It was like years ago, when we snuck off to spend time together. But, things could not go back to the way they were because I did not have any intentions on being comfortable here.

Elias moves close and our lips almost touched. I wasn't thinking anymore. I just wanted to get away from my thoughts, but I knew this was going to cause more problems for me later. I knew, but I ignored the alarms. I ignored my heart telling me this was not a good idea.

" I've loved you for a long time, Ahliyah. I'm glad your back and I hope you'll stay with me while you stay here." Elias smiled. I nodded my head not paying attention to what I was agreeing to, but I didn't care. The kiss was slow, and then I got comfortable. The pace changed and I thought this what I wanted. I thought that it would help ease my mind, or make me feel better. I pushed him away while I tried to stop myself from crying.

" Um.. thank you for everything. It means a lot that you're helping me out." I brushed a finger my lips because I could still feel his lips on mine. Elias gave me the job and he told me not to worry about everything else. We went back to his house and we went our separate ways, Elias sat his room and I sat in mine. I thought about talking to him about our kiss and what it was supposed to mean.

I didn't know what I was doing, but did anyone know what they were doing. Did anyone have everything figured out? I didn't have long before I left again, but by then Elias should have moved on because I need to.