Chapter 24: Carter

Ahliyah's mother died the next morning in her sleep. She cried,but the tears didn't last long because she said everything she wanted to say before her mother passed. Mercedes and Lorenzo came to comfort Ahliyah. I packed the things she wanted to bring back fo Florida with her.

I sat all the boxes near the front door. While Mercedes and Lorenzo talked to Ahilyah, I sat on the porch looking out at the trees alone with my thoughts. I allowed myself to cry because Alicia was the only thing I had of knowing the love of a mother.

Spending time with her maybe me want my mother back. Made me wish my step mother would love me. She showed me how to appreciate life and to spend every moment I had with Ahilyah while I could. She wanted to be on Ahliyah's side, even if we broke up.

I sat there for awhile at the sky wondering if she was looking down on us, or if she was smiling as we figured things out. I hoped where ever she was, she was happy being there because she deserved it.

When I walked back in the house, Lorenzo was leaning on the stairwell. " Ahliyah is okay, she's with Mercedes. They're planning something to do later, but while I have you can we talk?" He asked.

" What is it?" I sighed.

He shook his head and rubbed his neck. " Don't worry about it. It's not really important, I'll just tell you in the morning." He said.

" Alright, keep an eye out on Ahliyah for me. I'm just going to lay down for a minute." I told him.

" Okay, I know you were close with her mother and I know whatever she told you must've hurt, but it's all going to be okay. I know it will." He smiled.

It was going to be okay. We were going to be okay. At least I wanted us to be okay because I feared that of things were not okay, everything was going to fall apart just as quickly as it was put together.

We are going to be okay. I reminded myself one more time before I laid down.

Ahliyah came back early from her night spent with Mercedes. She sat beside me laying her head on my shoulder. " Mercedes was going to take me out, but I decided to come back. Now that she's gone, I don't know what I am supposed to do." She said.

" It's okay if you don't know what your going to do right now."

" It's not just that, but I'm also wondering if we are going to be okay. This is a screwed up world we are living in and knowing that we are going to be okay is what I really want." She said.

"Thank you for watching my baby, when I'm gone please make sure you're by her side no matter what. Even if you do decide you were not meant to be." Alicia had said.

My lips began to tremble and all I worried about was how I was going to make sure we were okay.

" I know you're mother would want the best thing for you, whatever that maybe. I am here and I'll always be here for you." I whispered.

I kissed her forehead and we laid there together talking about her mother and old memories that Ahliyah wanted to share. Although, my mother died I felt like I was apart of the family, felt like I actually belonged to something more than the relationship Ahliyah and I shared together.

" Are we going to be okay?" She asked.

" Yeah, we going to be okay. We are going to be fine."

The next morning, We packed the car with the things Ahliyah wanted to take with her. Mercedes came to help with last minuet things before we went on the road.

" Ahliyah, if you need anything please don't hesitate to call." She smiled.

Mercedes grabbed my arm and she smiled at Ahliyah as she got into the car. " You need to talk to Lorenzo. Talk to him because he isn't going to come to you again.

" I'll talk to him." I told her.

We finally made it back home and while we're putting the boxes into my room. Lorenzo sat on the couch rubbing his hands on his pants.

" What's wrong?" I asked.

" Mercedes and I broke up for real this time. I don't know what I'm supposed to do." He whined.

" What did you do?" I asked.

" It's not what I did. It's what she found, she found pills and some other drugs in my bags. I promise you I only use them to blow of some steam, that's it." He said.

It felt like yesterday when I found out Lorenzo was abusing drugs. We argued outside of his house and I went home and cried myself to sleep because I thought I was going to lose him. He's gone back to doing what he was doing before and now he has to figure things out.

Things are going to go back to the way they once were, right?

" You can stay here for tonight, then you have to go home. I'm not going to let you sleep at some hotel or on the streets somewhere, but you have to figure this out and fast." I told him.

" Thank you and I'll figure it out." He said.

Ahliyah was sitting up flipping through and old photo album, smiling. It was the first time I seen her smile since her mother died. I sat beside her and watched as she pointed at each photo. There was a story behind every photo in that photo album.

" This photo was taken when my mom made me chocolate pancakes and hot coco. My dad had burned the bacon on the stove trying to keep up with my mom," she laughed. " Everything was perfect then and then my mom got sick."

I pulled her close as she continued to flip through the album. " Do you hate your dad for what he did?" I asked.

" I don't hate him. Do I think his actions could've been thought out? Yes. Do I think he should been there when my mom got sick the first time? Yes. I can't describe how I feel toward him, but the feeling is not hate. Do you hate your step mother?" She asked.

" I don't know. I could hate her for years of abuse and years of being in my head. I don't. I'm letting that go or at least trying to." I told her.

I was trying to let my anger and sadness go because I wanted to see what else life had in store for me. I wanted to know if there was a possibility of something else for me, except years of trauma and nightmares that was going to follow me.

Love didn't exists in my heart when it came to my mother, neither did hate.

" Things are going to get better though, soon."

" Are they Carter? Are we going to be like this forever?" She asked.

I kept trying to reassure myself that things were going to be okay, or that things were going to go back to when we first met. But, I didn't know anymore.

I didn't know if we were going to be like this forever either. Two kids falling in love trying to figure out there past trauma while staying afloat in this thing we called life.