Chapter 26: Ahliyah

We sat in the car for awhile. I questioned myself on if going in there to talk to the man who hurt me and mentally abused me, if it was still worth it. Could turn around and forget I even said anything about doing this? The longer we sat in the car it felt like I was losing years, or time.

We finally got out of the car and I knocked on the door. Carter squeezed my hand and we waited for the door to open. I thought about walking away and forgetting about this stupid decision I decided to make in the first place. The door opened and in front of me was a man who looked liked he aged a hundred years. I didn't even recognize him.

" Ahliyah, is that you?" The man asked.

I smiled because I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. " It's me." I laughed.

" Come in." He said. We walked in and there were clothes on the living room floor and beer cans were scattered everywhere. Looks like things don't change.

" God, it's.. it's been years since I've seen you. Sorry for the mess," He rubbed the back of his neck and began to shove him mess into a trash bag.

All I wanted was to say sorry and leave. Was it that easy though? Say I'm sorry and leave everything like I didn't happen. I sighed because I didn't know anymore I didn't know what I was going to do.

" It's been awhile, mom died." I blurted out.

" I visited her months ago and she was fine. Time sure does fly." He said. He picked up all his things throwing the trash bag to the other side of the room.

" She died and where were you. Drinking your sorrows down in beer not giving a damn about us. For the longest time I didn't want anything to do with you and I wished I would've kept it that way," My throat knotted up and I wanted to be angry. I wanted to but I was sad, really sad. " I'm sorry though. I don't have any reason to hate you, but there this feeling that makes it hard to have a relationship with you. I am very sorry."

I didn't wait to hear a response or see his facial expression change. I sat in the car waiting for Carter and I was proud of what I did.

" You feel better now?" Carter asked.

" I'm fine. Take me somewhere, please."

We drove for awhile until Carter stopped the car. We were at the lake where had our first conversation and where spent time together for the first time. I laughed because this should've been our first date, but we didn't know each other much then.

" We need a fresh start. How about we get into the lake?" He asked.

" Why do we need to get into the lake?"

" Think of it as taking control over the things we cannot change. I know your mom died and your father has no part of your life but we could take control. We could forget that our pasts are screwed up and forget them." He said.

We got out of the car and we took our clothes off. The water was cold but it felt good, it felt different. I wrapped my arms around his neck and enjoyed doing something new. I was so absorbed into what I was worried about and how I was going to fix it and change, but I didn't take the time to have fun.

" Doesn't this feel better?" He asked.

I ran my hands through his hair I leaned back and laughed. I laughed and laughed because it was the first time I laughed since my mother died, and I was proud of us. I was proud of myself for putting myself and getting rid of all the anger I was holding in for years.

" This feels amazing. Why can't I be like this all the time?" I asked.

Being this happy didn't last for long and that was okay as long as I got to be happy and remember what the feeling felt like.

" You have to make yourself happy, but I guess that's what I'm for too." He smiled splashing me with water. I splashed him back and we chased each other in the lake. He was going to splash me one more time, but he eases his arms around my waist.

He kept his arm around my waist and he lifted my face with his hand. Carter leaned in slowly brushing his lips against mine softly. My heart fluttered as he kissed my face and neck and I waited for him to kiss my lips, waited for this time we spent at the lake to go on forever.

His lips finally met mine and my heart stopped. It wasn't our first time kissing each other but this time it felt different. I gently laid back in Carters arms as he kissed me and relaxed in the water, we pulled apart to catch our breath.

My heart still fluttered in my chest when he pulled me back to him. Our noses touch and he kissed me one more time before we left the lake. We changed back into our clothes and Carter drove us back home. Carter took a shower and I laid in the bed watching reruns of old shows I missed as a kid.

When Carter got out of the shower, he sat next to me in the bed. He laid his head on my shoulder and I held his hand. " I read the letters you wrote for me." I told him.

" What did you think?" He asked.

" I thought it was truthful and lovely." I kissed his cheek laying on my pillow.

I read through most of the journals and realized I couldn't read the rest not because I was ashamed, but I didn't want anymore anger inside of me. It was pointless because I had one thing in this world that would always put a smile on my face.

Carter.

I laid there looking at the ceiling until I was to tired to keep my eyes open, but I did replay the heart warming kissed we shared when I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

The next morning, we sat with each other on the couch eating our breakfast talking about things that made us happy. We spent the rest of the morning laying under each other watching cartoons. I didn't have to worry about anything when I was around him, everything came naturally when it was just us.

I kissed him on his forehead and got up quickly to grab us some snacks from the kitchen. I was thinking about Carter and I and the true feeling of happiness, until someone knocked on the door rapidly. Carter answered the door and Mercedes threw her bags against the wall sitting down trying to catch her breath.

" There's something wrong with Lorenzo. He hasn't been returning my calls and I went by his parents house and he wasn't there." She said frantically.

" He was here a couple of days ago, there are not many places he could be. Have you checked the hospital yet?" Carter asked.

" No, why would he be at the hospital?" She asked.

" He mentioned you found pills in his bag and y'all broke up. Do you think he could've found some pills and taken them?"

Mercedes slumped her shoulders and sighed. " I hope not."

Carter went to our room and threw on some clothes to go look for Lorenzo. There was no more happiness because just like that things were back as usual. Us trying to figure things out while life found some other cruel ways of torturing us.