Chapter 28:Carter

Ahliyah and I sat on the swings at the park. We spent the day at the park pretending we were kids again. Pretending that we could take over the world for one day. It felt good being in the sun and enjoying our time together.

" Do you remember the first time we met?" Ahilyah asked.

" When I came with Lorenzo to get that bike fixed, why?"

" I mean I wouldn't of thought that time would fly by so quickly. I'm happy that I have you,my best friend, my boyfriend. I love you." She smiled.

It felt like yesterday where we sat by that lake talking, strangers talking about our past and dreams. Talking about what we loved and getting to know each other.

" I almost forgot I got something for you," she said jumping off the swing. She ran to the car pulling out multiple bags. She sat back on the swing, smiling before she pulled out whatever was in the bag. " When I came to your apartment the first time, you didn't have any pictures to hang up, so.." She grinned pulling out picture frames of us.

It was every moment we spent together captured and put in a frame. Every. Single. Moment. I touched the pictures and smiled seeing that we were so happy. I sobbed happily because it was the nicest gift anyone has given me and it meant a lot for me to have pictures of us and our friends in our home.

" There are more pictures of us that need to be in frames and Mercedes is going to paint the frames for us."

I put the pictures back into the bag and I wiped my face off from tears and I laughed. " This is the best gift anyone has given me." I cried.

We continued to swing on the swings and she grabbed my hand and we were going to slide the slide. Ahliyah was in front of me and I was behind her, we slid down together and we fell out together. I landed on top of her and I getting up to brush myself off until Ahliyah pulled me back to her.

She ran her hand through my hair and she gently touched my lips. It felt like we were kids again, hopeful kids who were dreaming of love and wanting to be in love, but I was in love. In that moment, we were just two kids trying to figure out life.

" I want every moment to be like this. Us being free and loving each other forever." She said.

" Well, we can have that and so much more. Can I kiss you?" I asked.

" I've been waiting for you to kiss me."

I kissed her gently as her lips moved against mine. The kiss sped up and we were kids again kissing behind the bleachers again spending late nights after the football game. We pulled apart gasping for air and we smiled at laughed.

We left the park and went to go get donuts. Once we ordered our donuts, we ate some of them in the car. "You know this is the most fun I've had and the closet I've felt to being a kid again." I told her.

" I had good moments with my parents but things seemed to change when my mother got sick. But, that's why I have you to make memories like this." She smiled.

We spent the rest of our time out with each other and watching the sunset letting time fly by. We laughed as we walked through the door. Ahliyah wrapped her hands around my waist placing her head on my chest. We stood there in silence enjoying the moment and it was nice not to worry about anything.

" I love you. I don't want you to forget that and I don't just love you, but I love everything about you. I want to you to love yourself to." She said smiling.

" I love you too." I told her back.

As she walked off into our bedroom, I replayed her words back to myself. Love yourself. I was learning to love myself and others and to except the things I could not change. I loved Ahliyah more than the many stars that were in the sky because she taught me something.

She taught me how to let things go. How to let the anger, hurt and pain I felt when my step mother would yell at me and demean me like I wasn't worth anything. She taught me to forgive no matter how bad people treat you to forgive them for yourself.

Forgive them for yourself, not them.

Although every day, I spent with her I loved her more than I did before because I knew where she came from and where she was going. I didn't want to be angry anymore and mad at the world for what my step mother did. She was showing me how to grow and heal and that was all I needed besides her love.

I jumped in the bed beside her wrapping my arms around her. " I have to visit the cemetery tomorrow to visit my mothers grave." I told her.

" That's tomorrow? How come you didn't say anything?" She asked.

" I try not to think about it and I know she still with me."

I told her about the things my mother loved to do around the house and how she was everything to me. My mother meant everything to me and then she died. When she died it took me forever to grieve properly. OnceI started grieving, my father married someone new. Someone to take her place.

" It's okay. Tomorrow, we can do anything you want. I'm going to be there for you." She said.

I wanted to say something back but the words I wanted to say wouldn't leave my tongue. Instead of going to bed, I went in the front room and looked out at the window.

I thought about what it would've been like if my mother didn't die. What it would've been like if Nora hadn't been in my life at all?

Ahliyah held my hand as we stood in front of my mother grave. I picked up some flowers and a card on our way to the cemetery and left them in front of her grave. I stood there celebrating her life and I introduced her to Ahliyah because I knew she would be proud of me.

We went to get breakfast and as the day slowly went on, I didn't have any words to say or share. It was my time to grieve again and the problem with grieving was it was an endless cycle of hope for the person who died to come back, a wish that didn't leave you at all.

We finally got home and I laid in the bed with the covers on my head trying to not to cry. I didn't dwell on the what if's because this was the only day I had to remember what my mother was like. It was my day to finally allow everything out at once because I wasn't going to feel this pain ever again.

I wasn't going to allow myself to be this sad or have this much pain again because there was so much more for me to be proud of. I laid there and cried because this was all the time I had for my mother to be here with me.