Chapter 33: Ahliyah

I wrapped myself up in a blanket watching rom coms. I'd planned to stay in and eat junk food and allow myself some time alone. There was a rapid knock on the door I paused my movie and stood in front of the door. Elias was behind the door with a brown bag of food and he smiled.

" You've been ignoring my calls and messages. I thought coming here to see you, you wouldn't be able to avoid me," He said. " Before you close the door, let's talk please."

I moved out of the way allowing him in. He placed the bag of food on the counter and we stood inches apart. Neither of us said anything about what I said or anything that happened between us long time ago.

" I miss you, Ahliyah and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything and I promise I won't do it again.  Come back, please." He begged. 

"  I miss you too, Elias. I can't come back though because the way you treated me wasn't right. Coming back would start everything over, even the way you treated me."

Starting over and forgiving are the hardest things anyone could do. Elias was apart of the past I want to forget but couldn't.  I couldn't keep the relationship between us anymore because what we had broke long time ago.

" I'm leaving Florida and I'm going somewhere far. I want you to come with me." He said.

" I'm sorry I can't come with you. Thanks for bringing the food."  I grabbed the bag off the counter sitting back on the couch to finish my movie.

" The shop is yours if you want it. I know the way I treated you was wrong, but I was hoping that you would come with me. James will come and help you out if you need him to. Take it as a farewell gift."  He shoved  his hands into his pockets and he waited for me to respond.

" I didn't think we would've gone through all of this. Sometimes I think if I would've stayed could things have gotten better between us. I'm proud of you Elias, but I cannot come with you for now my life is here. I'm sorry."

He smiled nodding his head and left. The hardest decisions weren't made based of the choices we didn't want they were based off the choices we did want. Leaving Florida and going back to the way things used to be would be fine, but I wouldn't be happy.

I leaned back unpausing my movie trying to relax once again, but there was another knock on the door. I sighed hoping it wasn't Elias trying to ask me to come with him again. I opened the door and smiled. Carter stood there with flowers and a bag full of my favorite snacks.

He walked in placing the bag and flowers on the counter and leaned against the wall. " Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?" He asked.

" It was the day before my mom got discharged, what's wrong?"

He rubbed the back of his neck blushing. " We've been through a lot and I wanted to remind you how much i love you.  I read your journal and I think we should write letters to each other."

" Letters? Why would we write letters to each other?"

" To remind each other of the good things we still have. To remind us that we're still living and we have something to fight for." He said.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling. " That's sweet,Carter"

We made dinner and we talked about how each letter we wrote to each other we would respond and where we would put the letters for the other to find. Each letter will be a reminder of why we were still here and show us there was light beneath the darkness.

" Before we do the letters, can we please hang these pictures up?" I asked.

He leaned back and laughed. We went through the bags hanging the pictures around the apartment finally making it home.

Home for the both of us.

It felt good finally being able to call the apartment home. Carter was my home I felt comfortable to tell him things that I wasn't sure of myself and share things with him that only the two us knew. 

When we were finished, we stood back looking at our pictures of the memories we made with each other. Each one we couldn't tell that we were battling some sort of issue that we couldn't figure out. We looked happy.

Carter put his hands on my waist pointing at our pictures. " Look at us, we look happy. I want us to always be that happy."

" It feels good to be that happy." I smiled.

We did look happy in the pictures but happiness only lasted for so long.  " Well, we might not always be happy but we have these pictures to remind us of where we came from."

I walked toward the flowers placing them in some water, smiling at Carter for the thoughtful gift. " I'm still sorry for what I said. I allowed my fear to push you away and I'm sorry. You told me to stop apologizing but I still feel bad about it."

" It's okay. Now, let's sit and eat some snacks." I grabbed his hand and unpaused my movie. I laid my head on his shoulder watching the movie.

Carter and I ate breakfast on the beach watching the sunrise. It was beautiful watching the oranges and pinks blend in the sky. We finished our breakfast and I started to pack the car, but Carter was still standing on the beach looking up at the sun.

I walked back to him wrapping my arm in his. " What's wrong?"

" Lorenzo and I had an argument and I said some mean things to him, but he feels like I owe him something since he was there for me and knew what was going on. I don't know anymore I shouldn't have to fight with my best friend or make him see why I did the things I did."

" Maybe talk to him and see why he feels the way he does, or maybe you and him could start over. Let everything go and be the best friends you were before life took over." I told him.

I had a chance to start over with Elias but I let it go because there was no starting over for us.  Carter and Lorenzo have a chance and they could let everything go. Friends were important and sometimes they don't understand the choices we make.

But, didn't everyone deserve a second chance.

" Do you think he would want to talk to me?" He asked.

" Give him a chance and listen to him."

We stood on the beach for awhile longer. Before we went home we stopped at a ice cream shop and we sat on the sidewalk eating our ice cream watching other people as the walked in and out of the shop.  We went home and I pulled my journal out to write in it. I wrote my letter for Carter expressing my love and hope,

It felt nice to relive those days were we weren't worried about anything but what we were going to be tomorrow.

It felt nice to finally be able to live without consequence.