Chapter 39: Carter

" You were serious about going somewhere else to clear you head." I said.

Lorenzo was cleaning his room and packing his things to go on a trip somewhere. Boxes and clothes were everywhere and the feeling was bittersweet watching him pack.

"  I was serious. I think I need time to get myself together because while I am sober there is a chance I can do it again.  Going somewhere else besides staying in Florida is probably what I need." He said throwing some clothes in a box.

I sat there watching him put the boxes in front of the closet. He finished packing his bags and he placed them outside of his bedroom door. I started to reminisce about the many times I would come in his room to stay the night, or stay because things at home were not going well.

I remember the first nightmare I had laying on his floor and how he woke up and talked to me. We snuck downstairs and ate some chocolate cake. I laughed because we had so many memories and now I had to watch him go somewhere else.

" Remember, when we snuck snacks upstairs for our game nights and to talk about your nightmares?" Lorenzo asked.

" Yeah, your mom got so mad when she found out all the snacks went missing." I laughed.

We reminisced about everything we used to do and laughed as everything started to come back. Those were the days, when I looked forward to waking up. Mrs. Martinez was always there to make sure I was okay and safe sometimes I think if she could've adopted me after my mom died she would've.

" We had some good times and bad times but we made the most of it, didn't we? I mean look at us we're still trying to learn about life and figure it out. I'll be back soon but I have to figure myself out first." Lorenzo said.

He grabbed his bags and started to pack the car knowing he was leaving hurt a lot. He wanted to figure things out on his own and I would be here when he needed me.

" That's the last of the bags. Leticia will move the boxes in the closet for me and I'll call to make sure you're okay. I know you'll be okay though." He smiled.

" I'll be okay."

" Don't cry. Do me a favor and make sure Mercedes is okay for me, please." He asked.

I nodded my head. He pulled out of the drive way and I waved goodbye to him. I had to remind myself this wasn't goodbye, he was just starting over for himself.

' Don't cry and this is goodbye. He'll be back soon.' I reminded myself.

Ahliyah was sitting in our room when I got home reading the letters I wrote for her. The letters we promised we would write for each other.

" Your letters are so sweet. I'm going to keep them forever." She said.

I was waiting to read her letters.  I sat on the bed beside her as she put the letters away and I started to cry. My shoulders shook and I sobbed because Lorenzo left and there was so much more I wanted to say.

Ahliyah seen my cry amd wrapped her arms around me. " Why are you crying?"

" Lorenzo left today and we talked about the time we spent together and the things we used to do. I didn't think it would hurt this bad. I know he's going to be back but he left. " I cried.

" He'll be okay. It's going to hurt for a little while but I'm not going anywhere. There's a whole bunch of people who love you. Lorenzo will be back he needs to figure things out on his own." She said.

I laid down covering my head with the blankets. I reminded myself Lorenzo will be back and everything would be okay. That I was going to be okay. Ahliyah rubbed my back as I closed my eyes and I sighed softly.

" Mercedes is leaving tomorrow  to prepare to put her paintings in that museum." She said.

She laid her head on me and we took a nap. I closed my eyes waiting to hear back from Lorenzo when he got to where he was going.

Mercedes came over and talked to Ahliyah because she had to leave early. Ahliyah smiled and nodded her head and she left. Ahliyah and I were the only one left by ourselves.  We were the only ones staying because we thought we still had things to figure out.

We were the only ones waiting to start our new beginning. Lorenzo and Mercedes were gone searching for whatever they needed and we were still here.

" Lorenzo was the first person to come over when I bought this apartment. He freaked out because I wasn't okay at the time and he wanted to make sure I would be fine on my own," I smiled. " He was always protective over me. I think he was protective because I was being hurt and he tried his best to make sure I wasn't hurt ever again."

" That's what best friends are for. To be there for you when you feel like the world is ending, or when you feel like life isn't meant for you." Ahliyah smiled.

I laughed as I thought about another memory. " Lorenzo used to sneak candy from his mother's candy jar when I had nightmares or when I was sad." 

Talking about everything good Lorenzo allowed me to feel better about him starting over for himself. I told Ahliyah about all the good things and bad things Lorenzo and I went through as best friends and when we decided we needed to take a break for awhile.

" He's going to do fine, Carter. There's nothing you have to worry about." She said.

" I know, he'll be okay. He's been with me for so long and it feels odd without him here."

We made dinner and watch tv and while the show was in commercial break I wanted to ask Ahliyah what were we waiting for. Why couldn't we move on like everyone else?

" Are you hesitating to move back to Texas because of me?" I asked.

She placed her plate down and sighed. " I don't really know. I guess I'm waiting for the both of us or maybe myself but moving wouldn't be bad. It'll probably give us a new start." She smiled.

New start.

" Do you remember when we sat by the lake? Do you remember what we said to each other?" I asked her.

" I told you, I hope someday you'll tell me what has hurt you so bad." She smiled.

We spent that day at that lake not really knowing each other, but knew enough where I felt comfortable with her to tell her I was hurt. 

I ran my hands through my hair and closed my eyes. " That pain and hurt is going away. There are something I won't be able to forget and it's going to be awhile before I can forget, but I think getting out here would be good for us."

We could start over without the pain and trauma following us and we needed to feel comfortable. We needed to accept that things weren't going to change unless we wanted them to.