A couple months have passed since the incident happened , I had a hard time getting the feeling of safety and security back , but with Emily and Edmund's help I got through it , during that time I grew so close to both Emily and Edmund , my relationship with Adam got so awkward after his confession , even though I had wanted things to work out with him so bad , but I felt like It'd be selfish of me to do that knowing that I might die in the end .
Training with Edmund was quite hard at the beginning , I had a tough time controlling my powers and sometimes they got way too out of hand , other times I was rushed to the clinic , but Edmund didn't leave my side one bit nor did he give up on me , if it wasn't for him and Emily I think I would have lost my wits a long time ago , specially since that new blondie Jessica joined the school , she immediately got along with Adam , it's like she's his tail or something and don't even get me started with her bitchy attitude .
Now sitting with Edmund and Emily on our usual spot in the cafeteria , the only difference is Adam's not with us , think about it ... Bingo he's sitting with Jessica and her friends .
" So he's not going to sit with us anymore , just like that ? " Emily huffs
" He'll come around don't worry " Edmund pats her back
I sigh guiltily " I'm sorry guys , I ruined your friendship "
" Shut up , such a stupid idiot " Emily punches my arm playfully
" Fine fine sorry "
" If you want my opinion , he's not entirely in the wrong , he's probably just trying to move on you know " Edmund scratches his head thoughtfully
I play with the hem of my hoodie watching Adam secretly , Jessica laughs loudly and puts her hand on his leg , I feel my blood boil .
" I'm going to my room "
" Wait Elda , training's in an hour don't forget " Edmund yells after me and I give him a nod rushing to my room .
I was about to close the door when someone places their foot preventing me from fully closing it , my breath hitches when I see who it is , the boy from the cafeteria and if I'm right then he's also the one who's after me .
I take a step back as he makes his way in my room as if it's his .
" Nice room " He says in a raspy voice that kinda sounds familiar , but I can't put my finger on it .
" What do you want ? "
" That 's not a way to greet a guest now is it "
I cross my arms " I asked what do you want ? "
" Feisty I see , I like you already , even though I'm not supposed to "
I frown " What the hell do you mean by that ?"
" You'll find out soon enough "
I laugh sarcastically " So you come to my room only for this , I think you should leave now "
" Sure " he smirks making chills go down my back .
He walks to the door then comes closer to me , so close that I can feel his breath fanning my face " Watch your back Elda , they want you dead " he gives me a final look and leaves .
I throw myself on the bed and let the tears go down my face , overwhelmed by emotions
angry at myself for rejecting Adam when I know that I need him as much as he needs me and hating myself for feeling jelousy burn my heart at the thought of him being with someone else , is it so selfish to only want him for myself ?
Having to see him holding someone else's hand everyday , laughing with her , going out with her loving her , making me wish I was her , holding him , being near him .
It's hard enough being scared 24/7 , now I'm lonely too , alone again , alone forever I guess because even though Edmund and Emily are with me literally all day , they're not Adam , they don't have his smile that lights up my darkness , they can't make me laugh like he can or wipe my tears like him . I guess we do realize what we have only when we lose it .
I look at the clock on the wall and gasp when I see it's been an hour already .
" Shit I'm late for training " I mumble and wipe my tears hastily not bothering to wash my face
quickly putting on my sneakers , I leave the room making my way to the training area .
Being in a hurry I rush through the halls not really watching my steps so it's not a surprise when I bump into a hard chest , I mean that's not the first person I bump into . I look up about to apologize only to roll my eyes when I see that it's the same boy again .
" Watch where you're going " He hisses about to walk away , but stops midstep and holds my face suddenly making me almost shit my pants , don't blame me he's scary enough when he's five feet away and now he's so close I can hear how uneven his breathing is .
" What's wrong with your face ? " He frowns looking concerned
I look at him sceptically " Is it swollen ? bruised ? "
He shakes his head " You were crying weren't you ? Who the hell made you cry Elda ? "
I raise my brows questioningly " An hour ago you were threatning me now you're yelling like crazy wanting to know who made my cry , great now I have an insane guy who's following me around "
He scoffs " I'm not following you , you know what I have better things to do anyway "
He leaves hurriedly tripping on his feet , I laugh lightly at the sight " And he tells me to watch my steps "
I knock the door to the room where I usually train with Edmund then open it slowly with a grimace bracing myself for a lecture on how important it is to always be on time , but instead I'm met with Adam's chocolate brown locks , luckily his back is to me so that I can get my shit together before he sees me all flustered .
I clear my throat " Is Edmund not here ? " and contrary to my wish my voice comes out shaky
He looks at me " What do you think ? "
geez he doesn't have to be so rude , guess he took my rejection way too personal .
" Uh ... I was here to train though "
He shrugs " I know , he had to run some errands , I'll train you instead , if you don't want to you can leave "
My heart breaks a little at his cold demeanor , how can he be this cold to me , I mean I know what I did had hurt him , but it's not like I did it to date someone else .
The words leave my mouth before I can stop them " Can't stay away from Jessica for even an hour huh "
He scoffs " What do you mean ? "
I shrug " Isn't this why you're in a hurry ? Or you just can't stand me anymore ? "
Thankfully my voice didn't break this time even though I'm trying my hardest not to break down now , call me weak , I don't really care .
" You're here to train , we shouldn't talk about my personal matters . "
I nod " Great , let's get started then "
I stand at my spot and wait for him to stand too
" Just a warning , I still can't fully control my powers , so don't let your gaurd down " I say and he nods his head .
" Okay so Edmund told me you already know the basics of defending yourself , but you still have trouble blocking blows right? "
" yeah " I reply shortly wanting to get this over with .
" Okay so we'll focus on this for today , ready ?"
I nod waiting for him to make the first step
He hints that he's about to attack so as not to really hurt me I brace myself to try and make his blow backfire , but as expected nothing comes out , no water and no fire .
" Let's try again , it's okay " I almost cry at how gentle he said it , scratch that I guess I just want to cry today .
I take a deep breath and try again this time a little bit of water comes out , but not enough to protect me from his blow , I end up falling on the ground .
" Let me help you up "
I hold my hand up " Let's do it again "
I stand up and tell myself to get it together I've done harder tricks what's with this one right? , you can do it Elda .
we keep trying till it gets dark outside , Adam doesn't say a word he only keeps trying with me , but he probably thinks I'm a failure by now .
Adam attacks again and once again I'm met with the hard ground , my hands bleeding from how many times i've skimmed them on the floor
Adam winces at the blood on the marble floor
" Elda I think that's enough for today , you should go to the clinic "
I shake my head sick of going to the clinic every single time like a weakling " I can do it Adam "
" Elda it's been four hours already I know you can , but you're tired go rest you can try again tomorrow "
" I won't leave , you go , I'll keep training a bit more "
He sighs heavily and gets his stuff leaving me to my thoughts .
I get up for the millionth time and imagine someone fighting me , as expected red angry flames come out making me wonder why I can't get it right when someone's really infront of me .
I huff and punch the wall deciding to take a small break and get a bottle of water .
On my way to the vending machine I spot Adam at the clinic talking to a doctor , I stop midway when I hear my name being mentioned .
" She just can't get it right even though she does everything else , it's driving me crazy " Adam runs his fingers through his hair .
" Elda thinks she deserves those blows and hits , she's punishing herself for her parents' death , she might not know it , but deep down she thinks she's the reason "
I gasp , how did they know , I only told Emily , Adam must've heard .
I run back to the training room with mixed feelings inside me anger , confusion and determination to prove them wrong .
I go inside planning to keep training , but before I know it I'm punching the wall and screaming at the top of my lungs , calling for my mom and dad , calling for Adam , begging my self to help me through this , angry at the world , my vision blurs as tears stream down my face like a waterfall , it's like I'm about to burst and I remember that feeling all too well , that's how I felt right before I killed my own parents and that alone makes me cry even more I claw at my neck trying to catch my breath sometimes and other times trying to rip my heart out , they were right I'm a monster , just like the fire inside me I burn everything in my way , maybe that's why grandma adviced me not to make friends , I'd end up killing them anyway turning them into ashes .
I scream until my voice doesn't come out anymore , the room around me darkens and all I can see is my old room burning and me hiding under my bed , I curl into a ball hyperventilating .
Maybe the doctor is right , I should just take their blows and not fight back , I might end up dead , isn't this why they brought me here in the first place ?
I close my eyes just giving up on everything , maybe I'll fight again tomorrow , maybe I won't .
Silence .
I can't breathe .
I don't care .
I'm suffocating .
I want to breathe .
" Elda c'mon open your eyes angel "
" It's Albert "
" Your brother "
That raspy voice .... I knew it .