Chapter 5

When my eyes had landed on Adam that very first night , I hesitated on whether or not I should trust him , a part of me thought that there'd be no harm in trusting him , I mean he's just like me why'd he want to hurt me , but the other part kept telling me not to put all of my trust in him , he's just a stranger after all . and just because he's an elementalist too doesn't mean that he won't betray me . But what actually made me want to trust him was that look he always gives me , a concerned look , almost as if he was afraid that I'd disappear at any moment , also it felt good to trust someone , to finally be able to talk freely without having that voice constantly nagging me telling me they're going to judge you .

But right now standing in this dim closet with Adam infront of me makes me rethink my decision , in my mind I'm praying that he doesn't have anything to do with this , I keep chanting in my head " I don't want it to be him " , I want to open my mouth and ask him , but it feels like I've turned into a statue unable to utter a single word , frozen in place , afraid of what he'll say if I ask " God please I don't want to lose my only friend " I keep whispering the same words over and over again .

I look in his eyes skeptically and there's no guilt just pure confusion .

And all of a sudden I come to my senses , as if my heart had stopped beating and the blood 's rushing in my viens all at once giving me a headache " What the hell was that , Adam ?! "

I say in an angry tone that doesn't sound like me at all .

His eyes widen and he shushes me " You're gonna get us caught "

" For God's sake Adam who's going to catch us ?"

" Why're you so pissed off ? " He whispers

" Seriously , is this some kind of silly prank or something !!"

He frowns " What are you talking about ?"

A sarcastic laugh comes out of me " The whole welcome to your hell and the blood and everything , like was that really necessary , my heart literally stopped beating Adam "

I expect him to apologize , but instead he frown even more " What do you mean ?"

" What the hell do you mean Adam ?!! "

" I was playing hide and seek with Emily's cousin , I thought that Emily'd told you and you came to join us , but looks like something's off with you "

I take a minute to try and understand that this is real now , for a moment I'd hoped for it to be a sick prank as bad as it sounds .

" Adam ... something's not right I-" I bring my shaky hand to my mouth unable to talk

" Hey , calm down just tell me what's up ? "

I furiously shake my head

" Okay then just show me what is it "

Adam gently pulls me out of the closet , I try to calm myself down as much as I can , I find myself squeezing Adam's hand unconsciously , he pulls me behind his back , my whole body tenses when i see the scene all over again .

Adam halts and takes a sharp breath , he turns to me holding my face "Hey look at me , everything's okay yeah , let's get Edmund "

I don't remember going back to my room , I only remember Emma hugging me comfortingly as Adam and Edmund leave in a hurry

" Why's this happening , who could've done this ? " I whisper shakily

" I can't believe this is happening actually ... like this is the safest place for you and the whole building is completely guarded , that means it must've been someone from inside "

i feel myself drifting away and I want to hold on to Emily in order to stay right on this Earth , trying to breathe feels like one of the hardest things ever as if I forgot how to breathe properly

it's like my parents' death all over again , I hear the screams , smell the burnt flesh , see my home's ashes , hear my heart wrenching screams , see the blinding smoke and I hear a strange voice , the cruelest of voices " You'll never find peace "

" I'll find you no matter how far you go "

" You'll burn by your own fire "

" You're a murderer , Elda "

" Elda c'mon you're scaring me answer me please , Adam she's not responding come back asap "

" Elda , Elda open your eyes , just listen to my voice yeah , focus on me ... it's Adam "

Opening my eyes I wince at the strong headache that hits me like a train , I don't have enough time to ask what happened as Adam pulls me in a bone crushing hug and when I hear a sob I think that it's probably me crying , but it doesn't take me too long to realize that it's Adam .. he's crying .

Edmund clears his throat and whispers to Emily " I think we should leave them alone "

" I'm so sorry Elda .. I promised your grandma that I'd do my best to protect you , I'm sorry I could not protect you "

I look at his concerned eyes which are filled with tears , I want to reach for his face and wipe them for him, but for some reason I don't .

" Hey , it's not your fault , plus I'm okay I guess I just got a little scared " my voice comes out hoarse and scratchy

" Are you kidding me , it looked like you were possessed Elda , your face was way too pale , your hands were shaking , you were muttering meaningless words and I .... I thought I lost you"

I want to say why'd you care about me , I want to ask so many questions yet at the same time I want to silence those thoughts in my head and out of all the things I could say I whisper " I don't know what happened to me "

" Seeing what was written there scared me a lot , I mean you already told me I might die here , but I had some hope , I hoped you'de be mistaken , then all I could remember was my parents and how I'm gonna end up just like them ... in ashes "

Adam pulls me in his arms again this time holding me tighter if that's even possible

" I won't let anything happen to you , I'll do my best to protect you , I won't let you die Elda even if it means I could die saving you "

" Adam-" " No,don't say anything , just let me speak , I know we haven't known each other that long , but you mean so much to me Elda , I haven't smiled for so long , I forgot how happiness felt like , but when I saw you there that day unconscious my heart stopped beating for a second and in that moment I promised myself to keep you safe , even though I feel like I've already broken that promise I'm still gonna do my absolute best not to do it again "

I want to bury myself in his arms , to tell him that I do feel the same , but fear creeps into my heart ... I'll die in the end , I don't want to break his heart , to leave him alone .

" Adam we .. we can't be together , I'm sorry " I hear my own heart breaking a little once the words leave my mouth

" Elda n-" Edmund opens the door stopping Adam mid-sentence and I can't be more grateful for him

" Elda we'll have to start training tomorrow " Edmund sighs heavily

" What's going on Ed ?" Adam gives him a wary look

" I can't believe I'm saying this , but for the first time ever I don't know what's going on , there's nothing caught on camera , but I just know that it's someone from inside so from now on we have to be cautious of everyone around us , Adam you stay with Elda I know you'll keep her safe for now "

" Elda we're all with you hun okay , we won't leave your side " Emily squeezes my arm , I give her a reassuring smile , but it comes out as a grimace in the end .

" You should try to rest , tomorrow is gonna be a big day " Edmund gives me a sympathetic smile .

Nodding me head silently as they leave the room , I plop down on the bed and try my best not to think about what happened earlier or what happened with Adam , I close my eyes and drift into a restless sleep .