IMPERFECTION OF PERFECT TIME

I've brought that letter to school by carrying it in my bag.

I've given it to Arman, alok and sany.

They've read and thought it's good but all of them have one concern about it.

" It's really good man, but sometimes it went too deep, I mean we are not that well aged to talk so deep about love" said Arman.

" I don't care about it, it's not a matter of age, is it?, It's all about how much I was driven into it" I said.

" As you wish" Arman said.

I've thought of giving it to her somehow today.

The classes ended. And it's quite dark outside and the air's very cool too.

Pleasent, cool, dark and lovely climate, this looks like a perfect time for my confession.

She packed her bag and headed outside of school.

I went towards her.

" Climate's so good, isn't it?" I asked.

" Yeah, it actually is, but you don't seem to be hesitant anymore to talk to me directly" aira said.

" Well! I have enough of courage for that now" I said.

" Hmm! I honestly love this season a lot, winter's really my favourite season, but I do love snow even more, but snow will never fall in this nearby places" aira said.

" Yeah! Even I love snow too" I said.

"Really?" She asked.

" How can I not love it when you are loving it? " I asked.

" What did you just say?" Aira asked.

" Well! I'm just kidding" I said.

I don't have to say I'm kidding, why am I holding back my feelings still.

" Why do you love snow that much?" I asked.

" Because it just feels so refreshing to me, i reall love coolness, and the main and most reason why I love snow is because I love snowman, If there is a snow, i could make a snowman myself, it's very cute, if that snowman has a life, I would have marry him in future" aira said.

I took a small gap.

" Can I be your snowman then? " I asked.

" What... Are you saying? " aira asked by utterly getting shocked.

" I'm kidding again, don't take it to heart" I said.

I really am very timid, i would have confessed now, but I messed up due to fear.

It suddenly starts to rain.

She told me goodbye and ran to her home.

I messed up the opportunity today, I must gotta say atleast tomorrow.

The next day,

I've told my friends that I haven't given my letter yet.

They were a bit angry about why I haven't given that letter.

When we were discussing about letter and love, sashank seems to have listened everything.

It's sports period now.

We all went down to ground as it sports class.

But before going down, I've kept that letter in my bag safely without any damage to the letter.

In midst of the sports class, sashank went up for washroom.

Then he silently sneaks to our classroom and checked my bag.

He found the letter and came down in a 'single minute'.

I never thought it would be my life spoiling minute.

He roamed around the ground while we were playing, but I didn't observe the letter in his hands then.

He read it.

" That damn lin! I know he'll do these kind of things, even if I tear this apart, he'll write down another letter over and over again, what should I do now?" Sashank questioned himself.

Then suddenly, a terrifying smile appeared on his face.

" I can use this letter for my own good" said sashank to himself.

Later, in that sports class itself, he approached towards aira.

" Aira! I have something to tell you" said sashank.

She questioned what is it.

Sashank gave that letter to aira, as my name is not mentioned in that letter, he gave it to her like he written it but it actually was me who had written it.

" No matter what your answer is, I just want to confess my true feelings with honesty" said sashank ( the freaking liar).

Aira read every word of that letter and got deeply moved after knowing sashank is loving her a lot.

But the fact is, it was not him who's loving her truly, it was me who actually is.

" I think.... I need time to answer" said aira hesitantly while giving off a slight smile.

Sashank somehow understood that she'll answer with 'yes' for sure.

Later, aira came to me and called me.

" What's the matter? Aira" I asked.

She given that letter to me.

I've thought she read it and understood my feelings on her then, but I was completely wrong.

" Do you know who has written that letter?" Aira asked.

"Well! Whom do... you think it is?" I asked a bit hesitatingly.

" It's sashank, he had given this letter to me and confessed his feelings on me" aira said.

I was completely shocked like what the hell is going on.

" It's sashank?" I asked.

" Yeah! It was him, so you don't know anything about it then, even I was literally shocked after knowing his feelings on me" aira said.

My brain completely messed up.

I don't understand what's going on.

" So have you accepted him?" I asked.

" Not yet! But i definitely will, I just want to drag on a bit more, and I'll accept him then, what else can I do after knowing that loves me so deep, even if it was you who had written this letter, I would have accepted, I mean how can I miss someone who admires me a lot" aira said.

My tears almost starts to flow down, but I've controlled it somehow.

But I am so angry on that idiot sashank.

" So you are happy, right? " I asked.

" A lot" she said.

After listening to her words, I've forgotten what I actually want to say.

But then, by looking at that letter, I wanted to say that it was me who had written it.

But the bell rang, which means the class has ended.

I asked her to wait for a second.

" Aira!... actually.... it was written by....." I hesitated.

What the heck! I need to say her the truth right now, I need to say that it was written by me, but my dear and hesitation were not letting me to say.

I gotta say this atleast now, but it was like I can't open my mouth and say about the truth.

My fear overcomes my courage.

She left to class after I dragged on more and told me sorry as she left without waiting for what I about to say.

My fear might not let me to say truth to her, but that little courage in me made to feel angry on that freaking liar( sashank ).

I went towards him and took him to a empty class room where no one are around and no CCTV camera is available.

" Do you even know what you had actually done, you bloody idiot" I yelled.

" Enough! Enough! Enough! I understand your pain, but what could you do if you had the letter, you'll try to give it to her, but at the end, the fear in you stop you from passing over that letter to her, so will it change anything if you had the letter? Just nothing, so I used it for my own good" said sashank.

" Just don't enrage me,... why have you lied to her that it was you who had written it? You stole someone else's feelings and confessed like they were yours, you bloodshit" I shouted.

" Low down your voice, I've already told you nothing's gonna change even if you had the chance, even if you try to say her the truth, she won't trust you so easily, but I can easily manipulate her so easily now" sashank said.

" How dare you? " I shouted.

" Don't get me wrong, but listen to this, if you don't have enough courage to propose her, then don't even dare to love her" he said.

I felt that it was my mistake to not confess her earlier, if I had confessed earlier or atleast given that letter to her earlier, this situation might would have not come into existence.

" You just ruined you chance and time, don't even dare to love her now, she's my girl from now on" sashank said.

He told me those words and left down to our class.

But i stayed in that empty classroom for a while.

I don't know why, all her memories with me flashes in my brain all out of a sudden.

Even I couldn't control my tears, they are just overflowing like floods from my eyes.

I cried too hard.

But I managed to control it somehow, I should be strong, i shouldn't let my tears burst out completely now.

Actually what he said was indeed true for some extent, I was the one who wasted time and chance, if I really had confessed earlier, i wouldn't have to cry this bad now.

I've told my friends about this.

" Let's go and say the truth" sanay said.

" No! Don't do it, even if we do, he'll easily manipulate her, nothing's gonna change even if we say, he's at his luck now, moreover I don't want to see her getting manipulated so easily, I just can't bear more pain by now and atleast...she's happy now, I don't want to ruin her happiness" I said.

" Are you really out of your mind?.... You not only lack courage, you also lack clarity, what exactly do you want to do, it's indeed your mistake for not confessing earlier" Arman said.

" I know" I said.

Arman had seen me trying to hold back my tears.

" Hey lin! It would be embarassing for a boy to cry, don't be a crybaby like a girl" said Arman.

" But we are the ones who gets hurt most" I replied.

" Arman! Let him burst out all his emotions now" sanay said.

" Whatever, just listen to me now, final exams are only two months away, atleast realise the value of time now, get yourself completely into studies so that you'll forget all this pain" said Arman.

" Forget? Pain?, Don't make me laugh,... ' pain never decreases, only the effect of it decreases' do you get it? " I said.

" Whatever, just focus on studies" Arman said.

I've started focusing on studies lately after listening to him.

I was slowly trying to forget everything by getting myself deeply into studies.

But, on that day ( March 25th ), when I and Arman were about to head to home, it rained suddenly.

Then I've seen the thing that I never ever wanted to.

Sashank and aira are wrapping arms aroun each other, i couldn't see it clearly, but I never wanted to.

Sashank kissed on aira's forehead after knowing that I was seeing them.

The things that I thought I am about to forget re-entered my brain again after unclearly seeing the visual that I never wanted to.

The tears in my eyes started to fall down, i very well tried to control, but I lost control over myself.

I was very much sad but somewhere somewhat happy that's she's happy now.

Arman laid his right hand on my left shoulder and told me to control my emotions and to not look at them.

Even aira is not talking to me as much as she did earlier.

Atleast she's fine now, i shouldn't messy up at all from now.

That's what I believed in and that's what I'll believe in.

TO BE CONTINUED...