Chapter 25

The day of my discharge arrived, I was helped out of bed to the entrance. I was dressed into some jeans and an over-sized shirt. Nyree had brought it a few days ago for me, and i'm glad she chose this outfit-I like it.

Lexie helped me into the car, even though I said I was fine, and drove me to her house in silence.

When we arrived, I was on my phone texting Nyree that I was with Lexie.

Nyree: Make sure you don't forget to thank her family.

Me: Yes Nyree, I will not forget.

Nyree: I mean it Dani.

Me: I will not forget, I promise.

Nyree: Thank you and don't overthink on your grandma's health.

Me: Who said I was?

Nyree: I'm just saying since she's the only family aside from your father that you lived with. Don't overthink on it.

Me: I won't.

Lexie taps my shoulder. "We're here."

"Okay." I said as I tucked my phone away in my jean pocket.

We got out of the car and Lexie helped me with my things. We walked to her front door and was greeted by her parents.

"Dani! How have you been?" Lexie's mom, Frances, welcomed me with a tight hug.

Lexie's father, Ben, was smiling at us too. "How long has it been since we last saw you? It's been too long, right?"

I nod. "Y-yes sir."

Frances lets me go and feels my hair. "Your hair grew so long, have you ever trimmed it?"

"Yes, I let my grandma's nurse trim it when she can. She always does my hair when she has time."

"I think it's time for another trim." Frances says. "Is it okay if I trim it?"

I nod. "Yes, it's fine."

"Great, let's get started right away before Lexie pulls you into her room."

Lexie closes the door behind us and sighs. "I'll be on the couch waiting then."

I was sat on a chair and Frances didn't waste time to trim my hair.

"So Dani, how's your grandma these days? Still helping you study?"

"Yes." I said.

"Are you passing your classes?"

"Yes ma'am, I have an 'A' average in my classes."

"Do you know what your GPA is?"

Ben playfully elbows Frances. "Honey, that's personal to ask."

"It's fine." I said with a giggle. "I have a four point eight GPA."

"You hear that Lexie!" Frances shouts to Lexie, who's on the couch with her face turned away from us. "Dani is going into a good college!"

Lexie shrugs. "Okay."

Ben sighs, "Sorry for her attitude Dani, she just upset that she has to retake her math exam. She didn't get a high enough grade to count as a passing grade."

"It's okay sir, I'm used to it." I said.

"And done!" Frances looks at my hair in awe. "Now that looks better."

I looked at my hair. "Thank you, I like it."

"No problem."

I stood up out the chair, and walked to where Lexie was. She was still upset and held her phone in her hand with a tight grip. "You know I can help you study, Lexie."

Lexie turns to look at me. "No, it's fine Dani. I don't want to trouble you, besides Melanin is helping me during study hours at school."

"Well, if you need help, just ask me."

"Okay."

"Are we staying down here or going up to your room?"

Lexie stood up. "In my room."

"Okay."

We walk to her room and my eyes scanned. Her room was different. She had aesthetic theme with some goth posters. There was a La Lune poster, and a cd rack that had every album from every artist she listens to.

"Woah." I mumbled as I admired her decor.

Lexie sits on her bed. "It's not amazing, but I had it like this for a few months."

"I like it."

"Thanks. Want to listen to one of my favorite singers?"

"Who?"

"Koala Fang."

"Who's that?"

"Just an underrated singer." Lexie goes to her speaker to connect her bluetooth. "Here's one of their old songs called 'No'."

The song plays and I sit on her bed to listen with her.

My brain isn't as innocent as you think,

My mouth isn't as silent as you think,

I tried to be loud,

but my patience is on a brink,

I'm tired of being muted,

So let me speak,

If you want my answer,

It's No,

I want to live in a castle,

My insecurity says No,

Let me be who I am,

Let it show,

At this point, I was singing along with the lyrics. I didn't know why, but I did-I felt calm singing the song.

Baby, just let me breathe,

even if it's just for a moment,

my words aren't visible,

but they aren't unspoken,

If I told you my secrets,

Would my lies finally be in focus?,

Sorry for now,

I carry my pain,

I want someone to hold it,

Will you take me home?,

I don't belong here anyway,

My home is where I can't leave or run,

Just by your eyes, I might just stay,

Lexie sung along with me.

If you want my answer,

It's No,

I want to live in a castle,

My insecurity says No,

Let me be who I am,

Let it show,

My heart beats fast,

it's just my tempo,

You ask for my voice,

I have to say no,

I have the right to be silent,

It's time for me to go,

I live in a fantasy,

In a world that nobody knows,

That nobody knows,

All day we sung and danced till we collapsed on her bed again in our pajamas, she sat there across from me holding her report card.

"How can you and Melanin be so smart?" Lexie mumbles. "It's not fair. I want to be smart too. I want to follow you guys to big colleges with big opportunities."

I place my hand on top of hers. "You will, you'll get there."

"Is it that i'm not smart enough? Patient enough?"

"You're just yourself, Lexie. It's okay to be different."

"Maybe it's because I let myself fight with Melanin so much." Lexie's bottom lip trembled. "I never mean to fight her so much, I was just jealous of her beauty and brain. I'm pathetic, I can't even allow myself to be friends with someone who suffers the most in life."

I crawl to Lexie and hug her. "You're not at fault, it was a bad mistake you did. Melanin has been bad times in life, but it's our turn to give her some good times. Sure you haven't been lucky to pass some classes, but you don't think Melanin is giving you support to help you through it all."

"She's so amazing at hiding her pain, and so are you-how are you two so strong? Are you wearing armor?"

"I let someone relieve my pain and brighten up my dark days. She let me lean on her." I look at Lexie in the eyes, she was crying. "Sometimes the best way to let go of your pain and problems is to depend on someone else. You could be thinking you don't deserve it, but giving someone your troubles will help you feel better."

Lexie sobbed. "Why did I turn our friendship so toxic? Why did I become like this? Am I a monster?"

"You're just being human, Lexie. People make mistakes in life."

"Dani, I'm sorry for breaking up our friendship over my stupidness. I should've said something but I was scared."

I wiped her tears with my thumbs. "We all were. In my eyes, I think you two healed that broken bond some, and all it's left is to get rid of the toxic memories. You two should pick a day to spend together and pour out everything. Communication is key."

"Dani..."

"Yes Lexie?"

Lexie sniffles, her voice cracking from her crying. "What if..."

"What if what?"

"What if I said...t-that I love her?"

"Then it's a good job to feel for a friend. It's normal to love your friends. Platonic feelings are wonderful to experience."

"N-no, not platonic."

"What do you mean Lexie?"

"I think..." Lexie couldn't stop crying, my heart broke seeing her so vulnerable like this. Has she been holding in this pain all her life? "I think I'm in love with her, Dani. Like how you feel for Lauren."

I froze and my breath was caught in my throat. "W-what?"