Chapter 26

"I'm in love with Melanin." Lexie repeated.

I was shocked. "Are you sure you are Lexie? Is this what you feel honestly?"

"Yes." Lexie said. "And I figured out that i'm bisexual. I wish I could be happy that I found someone to love, but she's still not emotionally ready to start a relationship. She's still broken from everything. I don't know how to heal her, she never tells me how much she's hurting inside."

I sigh and rest my chin on top of her head. "Melanin is one of those people that swears they're fine, tells part of their painful truth, and hides the rest to protect herself from being open and vulnerable. She isn't hiding it because she doesn't trust us, no, she's hiding it to prevent another bad memory."

"She's been going to therapy about her old habits of sleeping around, and now she relieves her stress by running on track." Lexie wipes her tears away. "Melanin went to a Gynecologist to check her hymen and everything. She doesn't have any diseases or illness, but she told me she's in the process of tightening her hymen again."

"At least she's fixing herself to be better than she used to be." I took my chin off her head and leaned back some to look at her. "I don't even remember when she started doing this."

"A year ago." Lexie said. "The first time she did this was a year ago."

"Why?" I ask.

"I don't know, but my guess is she's dealing with depression and insecurity. She also works hard to get her life in the right direction. Plus her dark past haunts her constantly, it's like she's beating herself up to numb the pain inside."

"Fuck," I bring my knees to my chest. "I'm a bad friend for not realizing her pain along with yours."

"You're not Dani. You were in a dark place too."

"I neglected my friends for my own pain."

"And that's understandable. Your life isn't perfect either."

"Why don't you hate me Lexie? I literally shut you guys out of my heart."

"Because we all did the same thing. All three of us stopped communicating about our issues to put on a fake smile and hid our pain from one another. If i'm honest, Lauren was the one that helped all of us finally realize what we did wrong. If she didn't include herself back into your life, we would still be depressed and cold."

I smiled. "She did help us, didn't she?"

"Lauren is like that rare diamond that gave us a life changing opportunity."

"How did I fall for such an amazing person?"

"By being you. She was in love with you for a long time. Sneaking glances in your direction, watching you when you slept in free period, she read that same book over and over without getting tired of it, she studied hard to keep up with you, she ignored her own pain to follow close behind you, she paints all the time to pick up the talent you left behind, and she didn't let her love for you die to not give up on her chance to win your heart."

"She was so patient to wait on me that I never noticed." I moved my hair out of my face. "How did you know all of that anyway?"

"She told us. She was in a empty classroom by herself looking out the window, and didn't care about spilling out her heart to us. She told us everything while her eyes were elsewhere. It was as if she was sad but at the same time-broken."

"Do you know what my opinion of her was before I knew her?"

"What?"

"A popular girl that had befriended everyone easily, and probably was a spoiled person that got everything she wanted. I didn't understand why everyone wanted to be her friend. Her appearance to me wasn't all that special. She was like a side character with no importance in my life then, but now she's someone I can't let go and want to hold onto forever."

"At least you two are together." Lexie licks her lips and looks away. "I have to wait to even tell Melanin how I feel. I don't want to tell her my feelings, and get rejected on the spot. Because I know her answer already. 'Sorry, I'm just not ready to love someone at the moment'."

"Isn't that fine? You two can rebuild your trust, bond, friendship, and connection you lost. Take your time."

Lexie groans and looks back at me. "Why is love so complicated? Why is love so painful?"

"It's just is." I rest my chin on my knee. "Hey, can you ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Ever just get the feeling that everything happens for a reason. Like god made things happen to help us reach something faster."

"My mom say that." Lexie manages to let out a soft laugh. "She's not christian but she speaks on god's name as if he's walking on earth. She says that god makes paths for us to walk on, and helps us figure out our plan in life. And that we have to go through hardships and pain to reach the destination we hoped to reach."

"My grandma tells me that hard work gets you to where you need to go. Not everything is handed to you, you have to earn your way to it."

"I guess we need to follow their words and fix our shit."

"As if we have a choice."

"We don't. We're about to graduate next year or so."

"By then I should be done with crying and hurting."

"If we're lucky, we'll be ready to move out too."

I tilt my head to the side in confusion. "Where are you planning to move too?"

"In all prayers, I want to move to Canada."

"Your mom will be sad."

Lexie rolls her eyes. "My mom is literally planning where to put her work desk in my room by the time I move out."

"Damn, my grandma said she'll keep my room the way it is just in case I come crawling back."

"You are grandma's little baby."

"I'm not a baby."

"And i'm not obsessed with eating tacos."

"You really know how to get under my skin."

"I love you too." Lexie giggles.

"Speaking of tacos, I want some now you mentioned it."

Lexie eyes her glowing alarm clock. "Want to sneak out to get some?"

"I'm not sneaking out."

Lexie climbs off her bed to stand and stretch. "Come on, it'll be fun. It'll be like we're on a journey to eat some delicious five dollar tacos with your favorite drink. Strawberry blast."

I felt my stomach grumble. "You're lucky i'm hungry for some. When are we leaving?"

"Hmm..." Lexie thinks for a moment. "How about now? My mom and dad should be getting ready for bed."

"If we get caught, i'm blaming it on you."

"Whatever, it'll be worth it when we snack on those tacos."

"It better be."

We waited for her parents to fall asleep to slip out her window, and laughed as they ran from her house to the road. We couldn't use the car to avoid making as much noise as possible.

We held hands and twirled each other like in the movies to the taco restaurant nearby.

When we walked in, we were sweating and still energetic.

"Can we get the family meal with two drinks? One is a strawberry blast and the other is a lemonade soda." Lexie said to the cashier.

The cashier nods as he types in the order. "Twenty four-fifty two."

Lexie handed him the money and we both went to wash our hands in the bathroom.

I was busy letting the air blower dry my hands when I heard a click behind me. I turn to see Lexie holding her phone up to me and snapping pictures. I groan. "Not you taking pictures while I look like I been in the wild."

"You look good, Dani." Lexie said as she continued to take my pictures.

I shook my hands to shake off the extra water and placed my hands on my hips. "Those better stay in your gallery."

Lexie smirks, "Or I could send them to Lauren. I'm sure she'll love them."

I tried to reach for her phone but failed to as she hid it behind her.

"Awe, you were so close."

I pouted. "It better be a good picture or else i'll be showing Melanin that picture I took of you with your hair in bows.

Lexie squints. "I taught you how to act like me too well. Fine, it'll be a good picture."

"Lexie, I mean it."

Lexie waves me off as she begins to walk out the bathroom. "I promise Dani."

We both walk out the bathroom to see our food is ready. We grab our food and sat down to eat.

We ate and laughed like the old days.

It felt so warm and needing.