|twenty-two|

"Quiet—you're going to wake her up." MinHo threatens as someone comes rushing into the room.

"Who—oh." Their hurried steps fall silent. Someone sits down beside me, but doesn't say another word.

"She's a friend—nothing more." MinHo mumbles softly as he delicately runs his fingers through my hair.

"I didn't ask, did I?" I try to recall exactly who the voice belongs to. It seems so familiar, yet not as familiar as it would be if it were one of the Stray Kids members.

I roll onto my side and reach up to rub at my eyes. MinHo quickly moves my hair from my face.

"I heard the music and assumed you guys were practicing. Looks like I was wrong." The stranger chuckles as I tug the jacket on top of me closer.

I want to open my eyes, but I'm afraid of who I'll see. It could be anyone. It's more than likely another idol, but which one?

"We're recording today, so we figured why not chill in here while we wait our turn. We danced a bit earlier, but then we just started talking." HyunJin explains as the door opens once again.

"MinHo, you're up." SeungMin calls as he slips into the room.

I can feel MinHo panic beneath me. He pulls me into his arms and delicately places my head on someone else's lap. I have no idea where I've been relocated, but once again, I just can't seem to look. My heart is racing way too fast to even attempt a glimpse.

"She must've been exhausted. What'd you guys do to her?" Sana—that's who it is—questions as she chuckles softly.

"MinHo and I were at her place until around midnight—she didn't sleep much after we left though." HyunJin explains as he attempts to recall what I said earlier.

"Aww—poor thing. She's cute though." Sana chirps joyously.

I roll over so my face is turned toward whoever became my pillow's stomach. Although her comment is comforting, it's a burden in a way. I don't want to have to live up to being 'cute' when there's a chance she'll be there. I just want to be—not try.

I feel a warm hand on my back. I grimace as my ribs begin to act up. I pull my knees to my chest and try to wait it out.

"Is she okay—is she still asleep?" Felix leans in to move my hair aside.

Without warning, I sit up and bury my face into whoever is holding me's chest. The pain and difficultly breathing usually doesn't last longer than a few minutes, but right now it's almost to the point of being unbearable.

"What's wrong?" JiSung asks softly as he wraps his arms around me.

I shake my head as I grab ahold of his shirt. I fight back unnecessary tears. I've been in pain a lot worse than this before, but the situation makes it even worse. I'm weak in front of a room of idols—one who barely knows me and a handful that only know me slightly better than her.

The moment the pain lightens up, I pull back and glance up at JiSung. I take my bottom lip between my teeth before quickly looking away. I take a shaky breath and pull back to motion toward my bag.

HyunJin quickly grabs it and hands it to me. I dig through it and pull out my pills. I should've taken them this morning, but I was so worried about meeting MinHo, it slipped my mind. I knew there was something I hadn't done.

JiSung catches on to what I'm doing and immediately reaches behind him to grab his water bottle. He opens it then hands it to me. I quickly swallow down my pill before handing it back to him.

"Ari, Sana. Sana, Ari." Felix is the first to break the awkward silence.

"It's nice to meet you." Sana smiles brightly as I glance towards her.

"You, too." I manage to return her warm greeting, but part of me feels like it was slightly hostile.

"She's like JiSung. She's really shy around new people." HyunJin quickly steps up as he notices me tense up.

"It's my fault for just barging in. I should get going anyway. We're supposed to practice soon." Sana gets to her feet before offering us all a small wave.

I watch as she disappears into the hall. My heart slows just a bit the moment her steps fade to nothing. I finally work up enough strength to look at the others.

Felix and HyunJin are sprawled out on the floor. They seem to be playing a game or something on their phones. ChangBin has one headphone in while he sits leaning against the mirror. SeungMin sits beside him with the other headphone in his ear. Their eyes are glued to ChangBin's phone.

JiSung seems distracted. His eyes are glued on the floor in front of us. His hands are planted firmly on his thighs. I scoot away from him in attempt to put space between us so my heart will still just a bit more.

"As soon as MinHo finishes, Chan said we'll get food." JeongIn states as he pushes the door open. He slips inside and makes his way toward us.

"Finally. It feels like it's been a year since I last ate." ChangBin tugs his headphone out of his ear and locks his phone. He sets it down between him and SeungMin.

How long was I sleeping? Didn't we just get here an hour or so ago? It was only nine something when I fell asleep. I dig through my bag for my phone. I tap on the screen to see the time. It's nearing three. Why didn't they wake me up? Did they leave MinHo for last because I was sleeping on him?

I happen to glance at my own reflection and my heart drops. I look like a mess. I quickly begin to try and tame my hair. JiSung notices and chuckles softly. He grabs my shoulder and turns me toward him. He runs his fingers through my hair gently in attempt to get rid of some of the tangles.

"Do you have another hair tie?" JiSung asks as he motions for me to face the others.

I dig through my bag and pull out one of my favorite scrunchies. I hand it over my shoulder to him. He delicately pulls my hair back into a ponytail and secures it for me.

"Once we eat, I'll take you home. We have to practice late for another award show." JiSung smiles at my reflection as he lowers his hands.

"All these end of the year performances are killing me." HyunJin groans as he tosses his arms up above his head.

"If it helps, you look really cool." I mumble awkwardly.

"Of course I look cool—I'm me—but still, I'm exhausted." HyunJin chuckles as his face lights up.

"I'm going to see how long MinHo is going to take." Felix gets to his feet and grabs ChangBin's arm.

"I guess I'm going, too." ChangBin mumbles as Felix drags him toward the door.

"Honestly, we should all probably head toward the studio. Maybe Chan will let one of us go pick up food so we don't have to wait until MinHo is done to order it." SeungMin mumbles as he stands up.

The others all follow after him—except JiSung. He stays on the ground beside me. He glances over his shoulder at them, but doesn't seem to be interested in joining them.

"I'll stay here and clean up a bit so it's ready for us to eat." JiSung waves them off as he turns back toward me.

I do everything in my power to avoid making eye contact with him. I was way too close to him for way too long—now it feels awkward being alone with him. It wasn't weird when it was MinHo, but with JiSung it made me uneasy.

"I see you still have my sweatshirt." JiSung chuckles as he tugs at my sleeve.

"It's warm." I mumble as I place my hands delicately in my lap.

"Did I do something?" JiSung asks softly as he drags his fingers across the floor.

"No—why—" I swallow hard as I glance over at him. I hope I'm not making him uncomfortable. I didn't mean to upset him—I'm just not really the best at dealing with people I like—especially when they're famous like him.

"When it's just us, you get all awkward. I mean—I do, too—ugh—never mind." JiSung waves his hand in dismissal before getting to his feet.

"It's because you scare me." I reach out to catch his arm.

"Scare you?" JiSung looks at me in shock.

"You don't scare me in a bad way—you make me feel like I'm not good enough—not from anything you say or do—just your presence—it sounds stupid." I drop my arm and sigh in defeat. I don't know how to use words when I'm not writing them. It's so much harder to make it make sense.

"Why do I make you feel like you're not good enough—is it because I get shy around you—that's not your fault." JiSung falls back down in front of me. He watches me intently, clearly wanting to get to the bottom of everything.

"It's not that—it's just—I've been watching you from afar for so long—it's just strange being in front of you. You were always the person on my phone screen who made me happy, but having you in front of me is scary. What if I make a mistake or say the wrong thing?" I chew on my bottom lip as I avoid his eyes.

"Everyone makes mistakes. I promise I won't hold them against you. I haven't held any of them against you yet, have I?" JiSung places his hand on my knee and squeezes. I know what he's referring to—my thighs—he's seen my scars.

I shake my head weakly as he leans in to press his forehead to mine. I close my eyes and swallow hard as he chuckles. His warm hand cups my face and his lips delicately brush over mine. He quickly pulls away as the door swings open.

"I've got food!" HyunJin chirps as he rushes toward us and sets a bag of snacks down.

"Chan said it'll be awhile before he can order us food, so he gave us his card to get some snacks." SeungMin explains as he falls down next to me.

JiSung tenses as MinHo leans down to wrap his arms around my neck. I steal a quick glance at him, but I can't stand to watch him very long.

"Did you miss me?" MinHo asks brightly as he lets go of me and sits between SeungMin and me.

JiSung scratches at the back of his neck before getting to his feet. He watches my reflection in the mirror for a moment before slipping into the hall.