Parted

I rubbed my finger on my eye when I heard a knock on the door. I just woke up today. It is late in the morning. I can see that through the window as the sun rays hit it. I cursed under my breath when and panicked a bit, thinking that I am very late for school today!

I jumped out of my bed and almost jumped out in surprise too when I see Oli still lying on her bed, sleeping. I draw near to her. I can't just leave her here in the house while I, will go to school to attend my classes. I am sure she has classes too!

"Hey, Oli," I moved her body a bit. "Wake up, Oli. We still have classes to attend to."

But instead of getting panicked after hearing what I told her, she turns her back on me and faces the wall to continue her sleep. I sighed and shook her body.

"Sien, stop it!" She said in a husky voice, a bit mad at me for disturbing her sleep.

I was about to shake her body again to wake her up when she suddenly spoke.

"And what are you talking about? It's Saturday today!"

I sat on her bed floppily as I realized that she was right! I can't help but laugh about how funny I got panicked earlier!

When I heard another knock against the door, that's the time I realized that someone was knocking earlier. So I stood up and opened it. But the person behind the knock surprises me.

"Oh, mom…" my voice became smaller when I uttered the last word.

"G-good morning, Sienna," she greeted me while looking away like there's something in her eyes that she doesn't want me to see. "I-I cooked breakfast."

"Oh," I am lost for words about what to tell her next.

This is the first time we talk after my brother's death!

"T-thanks," the only word I was able to speak.

She then nodded at me, still looking somewhere to avoid my gaze. I watch her back as she makes her way downstairs. I then closed the door.

Ever since Nathan's death, I saw a lot of strange things mom's doing lately. And this is one of them! She never cooks breakfast for us ever since. It was always been me who's cooking. She's also the one cleaning the house now and doing the household chores too.

I wonder why she's been doing it all. I wanted to think that she just changed. But every time I realized what made her changed, all of my regrets, blame, and anger arose again! I can't help but think about 'whar if's'.

What if Nathan didn't die? Would she able to change like how she is right now? What if Nathan was still here? For sure she'll still say hurtful words against him! What if she realized that she was giving hard time to Nathan before Nathan committed suicide? For sure… he's still alive until now.

Or…

What if she changed like this when Nathan was still here? For sure then, Nathan would find his peace in our place called 'home'. What if mom just listened to what I asked her back on the day I asked her to say sorry to Nathan? I am sure that Nathan's heart will be lightened. I am sure that the things that gave him darkness inside his heart would somehow be lightened upon hearing mom's sorry.

What if mom told him that she loves him? What if mom said she accepted everything about my brother? What if mom was a good mother to him?

What if all of these 'what if's' just happened?

Then he's still alive.

He's still with us.

But albeit of that'll happen by now…

It is all no use anymore.

Albeit if that'll happen right now…

It is all too late!

Too late!

"You don't have to help me. I can do this…" I told my mom when she tried to get the vacuum from me to do the cleaning instead. "Just… take a rest. You've been so busy these months."

She resigned In the supermarket she's working after Nathan's death. And after knowing that the son of the owner was also one of the classmates who bullied my brothers. Dad on the other hand is still working on the car wash, but I heard his job there isn't that good anymore like before. All I know is because his boss doesn't pay him anymore and the car wash is also about to close.

"Really? You are asking me why am I being like this?!"

I almost jumped on the stair when I heard a rampant loud voice downstairs. I just woke up after taking a nap and don't have a plan to go downstairs, not until I heard something. The voice is familiar to me but I hope this isn't him. He's away because he's working, right?

Slowly, I continued going downstairs and the way I saw them talking makes me weak. It felt like any time today, they'll part their ways! It felt like anytime today, we're no longer called family.

My dad was standing in our living room, mom's also standing. Even just one look at them, I can tell that something's wrong.

"What are you talking about, Alexander?!" My mom's voice shook a bit. "Is it my fault that your boss didn't give you your salary?! Is it my fault that the car wash you are working on closed?! Is it my fault that you lost your job?!"

I blinked there several times while looking at them.

My dad… what?

Lost his job?

"It's not…" my dad sat on the couch weakly, holding his head with his hands. "But it is your fault…" my dad sobs.

Watching him getting weak…

Watching him crying…

And…

Hearing his sobs…

Makes my heart crushed into pieces.

"What is my fault?!" My mom raises her voice, losing her patience to wait for what dad will say next.

The way her face turns red, her voice shaking a bit, and the way she acted like this makes my heart crushed more.

Because I know, she's having a hard time about this too.

"It is your fault…" Dad said again, sobbing. "…why Nathan died." He cried.

One of the most painful things you'll ever witness in this world…

Is watching the very first two-individual that you saw the moment you came to this world...

Parted…

Their ways.