Chapter 4

Two weeks later

Carnell

"After a long two weeks of back and forth from her hotel to my place. I finally persuaded Aria to move into the house, things still have been slightly rocky when it comes to finding grief for her and I but I wanna be there when or if she breaks. The way things went down the way it did, it took a toll on me too. I've been experiencing some nightmares of getting shot over and over again almost every time I fall asleep. I thought maybe I should see a therapist. Then, once talking to Aria about it she invited me to come with her to a therapy session." I said to Dr. Lynn

We were currently in a therapy session with Aria's therapist. She was very welcoming. I seen how she handles Ari and it was calm and gentle. I could see how Ari was so open.

"And how do you feel about therapy Carnell?" She asked

"I think that if people want a better life and they wanna learn how to live it they have to find a way. Therapy or counseling isn't suppose "fun" or a "game". Talking about my own personal problems and trying to fix myself for the better. I want to be better." I said fiddling with my fingers a little

"What would you like to work on Carnell?" She asked while jotting down some stuff in her journal.

"Well." I stopped and took a look at Aria

She scooted her seat closer to me and held my hand while nodding her head to let me know that it was okay. It was a sweet gesture on my end.

"We have bee-" I was cut off by Dr Lynn

"When speaking in your feelings, try to speak for yourself." She said and I nodded

"I have been through a lot of trauma within the last 8 years. It's taking a huge toll on my mental. Also my physical appearance."

"Alright, can you tell me about that?"

"Well, I don't know where to start."

"How about starting where you worry from the most." She said sitting aside her pad and pen giving me her full attention

"I was shot a little over a month ago trying to win the love of my life back. I know that sounds crazy but trust me it gets crazier." I said shaking my head while chuckling

"I won't stop you , you can let me know when your finished. I'm all ears." Dr Lynn said with a smile

"Me too." Aria said side hugging me

"Me and Aria met our ninth grade year at Highland High. Tenth grade year was when I finally asked her to be my girlfriend. The rest was history. We had a lot of the same classes and we were so good for each other. It made us want to do and be better. Whatever class I was lacking and she wasn't and vice versa, we'd would basically be each other's better half. Studying was one of our biggest things to do and use as dates against our parents." I said laughing a lil

"We were prom King and Queen. We went to the same college I played football and she was my cheerleader. We lived a real life romance movie. We were in our senior year of college and found out that she was pregnant. We both picked up jobs and as it got close to graduation we took out a loan and bought a house. We were almost there." I said using my hands as I spoke

At this point I didn't realize I was crying. I didn't know why I had thought I moved past this but I guess since now Aria's here to hear how I actually feel now, it's hitting a little differently. I wiped my face and took a breathe. I knew I need to calm down before it turned into anger and I don't want to be angry at her I want to love her in the best way that I can but I got to get her to fall inlove with me again.

"Things went left after the accident. We were badly injured which caused us both major memory loss. I was lucky. With therapy and my supporters I was able to recover fully physically and mentally. My memory came back. The memory I lost was just small stuff that happened in my life. I remembered Aria but never could figure out what happened between us and after talking with my mom and therapist they suggested I reach out. That was three years ago. I feel like I've lost myself a little bit along the way." I said

I had a lot to say on the first session. I wanted things to be alright. I didn't want to trigger anything with Aria but I do want her to know that I love her.

"How about we stop here. It took us a while to get here. Although it's the first session, we gotta take it up a tad bit." She said closing her journal

"That's fine. I wasn't too sure but now that I am, it's time to start the journey."

I was ready to open up. I was nervous but I did open up.

"So, what I want you guys to work on is communication. Aria you mentioned that you would like to remember and have even taken interest in some hypnosis to regain that memory. Talk about the past and don't be afraid. Aria I know it'll trigger your emotions and may even cause you to remember. Try to be open to that, this is all new to Carnell too." She said walking with us to the door

Okay so, tell her about us and our relationship. Got it. I thought. Well tonight I wanted to to be chill. So I was going to try my best to vibe hard with her. My God only knows how bad I want to be with her again.

"Thanks Dr. Lynn." We both said leaving out

The rest of the ride back it was silent. It wasn't uncomfortable. Just silent.

Pulling in the driveway and parking, I cut the engine and made my way out the car with Aria behind me.

"Was this the house we bought?" Aria asked standing in the driveway viewing the house

"Yes, well one of them." I vowed to myself since the accident to always tell the truth no matter how painful it is

Wasn't necessarily to hurt her or to force her to remember, but to know her reality. I know I sound mean but I have became selfish and don't want anyone to lead her on about her life with me. She at this point had no close by family members to help and her mom committed suicide. I felt like I owed her that much to give her, her truth.

"It's beautiful, I like how the sunset is setting." She said taking out her phone then snapping a picture

"That's what you said when we bought it." I said laughing

"Come in let's head in I'm hungry." I said reaching my hand out for her to take

"You cooking tonight?" She asked smirking

"Yea, I'll cook. What would you like for me to make?" I asked unlocking the door and letting her in

"Can you make a chicken casserole?"

"How about I surprise you?" I said heading to the kitchen

I didn't cook a lot when we were together but there were a few dishes I made that Aria LOVED. For some reason the string bean, or chicken casserole was her lead.

"Okay, what do you need me to do?" She asked

"You can sit at the island and talk to me. Keep me company while I make us this dinner." I said turning on my playlist

Bryson Tiller ft. H.E.R - Could've been played through the house lowly enough for us to hear one another. I wasn't sure about her but I felt comfortable again.

I was happy to see that she was okay with all of this happening. I know that I semi pushed her but I wanted to do what I felt like is right.

"Can you tell me something?" I heard her say as I started on the chicken

"What's up?" I said turning around giving her my full attention

"What was it like being with me?" She said running her fingers through her hair before palming the side of her face

"Then, you were amazing. You weren't perfect but for me you were. You held your head high even when your reality was fucked up. So fucked up." I said shaking my head "You were annoying at times and I'm sure I was too. You were silly and you loved me for me. Even when I mistreated you."I said while placing the half made casserole in the oven

"Mistreated?" I could almost feel her tense up when I said that last part but I wasn't done talking

"You forgave me for this already but that doesn't mean you shouldn't know." I said sighing, turning back to the food. "When we were in college um.. sophomore year we were always fighting and barely had time for each other because of our practices and classes. So I stepped out. Soon after I regretted and wanted to take it to the grave. Everything that has happen starting eating me alive as soon as it was over. It was hard being around you and knowing what I did. I couldnt even come tell you. I went to the men's dorm and washed my ass so many times. The girl I cheated on you with, did end up telling you somehow during me showering. It was crazy because it was literally right after we had slept together that made me realize that I was set up. I didn't blame anyone though. I still don't. We both didn't know each other, it was just a sleazy one night stand. Our relationship was on the rocks and what made it bad is because since it was so many people around I wanted to still play nice and tell you and private but as soon as you seen me you slapped the shit out me." I said as I laughed because she always beating my ass and she's so little.

She seemed interested so I kept talking. I didn't wanna press but I did at the same time.

"You wanted to be a fashion designer or a owner of a boutique. You loved clothes. As I see you still do. You were so ready to get your own boutique." I smiled to myself remembering how she was when she was searching for a shop

"I still do. I just feel like I have so many clothes. Sometimes I forget I have it and buy it multiple times. I just wanna sell it all and start fresh. Well all my non-tagged clothes would go to charity or I'll split it. That way can go to charity and my family that really needs help with clothing." She said shrugging

I feel like we are having the same conversation over again. I was okay with it. I'm even more appalled to see that she's still interested in the same career line.

"Can I tell you something about the old you?" I said honestly

"I don't know Carnell. I don't want to cry right now I'm having a good time with you." She said smiling a little

I got butterflies just off that but I couldn't let this go.

"I don't want you to either. I just think you should know something very important." I said checking on the food that was in the oven

"Do you have any alcohol?" She asked making me scrunch up my face up

"If we are going to do this I need to be prepare myself. It's not like you smoke weed, so alcohol it is."

I smirked and walked into the foyer. I laughed at myself cause I thought this was going to be hard but being as though she wants to remember, it's much easier.

Walking into my bedroom I walked to my nightstand, grabbing my stash box while grabbing a tequila bottle and some cognac . I made my way back downstairs and back to the kitchen island. I sat everything I had in my hands down in front of Ari.

"What's with the box?" She asked

"Pre-rolled." I said opening the box and placing it in front of her

"I'm impressed. I'll take a shot of tequila and a double shot of cognac on ice please?" She said laughing

"Now just make me a bartender." I said laughing grabbing a glass cup and ice from the ice machine

"I hope that casserole is a good as it smells." She said inhaling

"I done had enough of you coming for me." I said looking at her

"It's a joke." She said laughing

Pouring our drinks and then sliding Aria hers. Me on the other hand, I held onto mine. She however took both back. "Rookie move." I thought

"Alright, now I know that was a rookie move but how I regain memory... I need something afterwards."

"We got about 30 minutes until the food is done."

"Okay , great. Light that L and get to talking boa." She said smirking, while lighting the L

"You were an interior designer. Great at your job too. You got promoted 8-months in. Come on let's take a walk around the house." I said leading as she followed

Aria

I haven't had to much time to do anything emotionally because these days I've been stuck in my head. Even though we were together which, which now I believe. It makes me want to lean forward with this and see how a relationship would be like. To him it seems as though nothings changed but in reality everything was new to me.

Walking with Carnell, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder while I comfortably wrapped my arm around his torso and we walked to the garage.

"We built this house together. We were précis about it too." He started

Opening the door he let me walk in first with him standing behind me.

"You designed our whole house. I had a few ideas that you threw in there but you made this shit real AND we were in a extremely tight budget. You were good at your job babygirl. My favorite part of the house is the garage and our bedroom." He said looking at me in awe

Suddenly I felt my heart speeding up and my vision became slightly blurry. I rubbed my eyes trying to clear my vision a little and then it dawned on me. I was having an anxiety attack. A side affect of memory gaining.

"Carnell!" I slightly called out loudly before I blacked out.

-

"Baby, this is wonderful! I cannot believe you did this! I love it." He said kissing me, slightly making me blush

"I'm glad you love it." I had currently finished his man cave in part of the basement and he was in awe. He was big on video games and technology so I set that up for my baby and put all his game systems and computers down here too.

" How was work?" He asked as turned on his game

"It was just long to be honest with you."

"Anything interesting happen?" He asked

"Yea I actually ..got fired today" I said in a sad tone

"Your serious? They can't fire you?"

"No, I actually got a promotion." I said cheesing while clapping my hands dancing

"Oh shit! Congratulations baby! I knew you were going to make it." He said dropping his controller to hug me

"Thank you. I'm so excited about this and now we are set. Now we just waiting for little baby to get here." I said as I rubbed on my baby bump

I was six months and counting. We were just about finished our house and I was so ready to start on the nursery.

"Have you thought of any names for her?" He asked bringing me down on his lap

"Kailynn (K-LYNN)Dior Hunnicut. I've been saying that name over and over for the last week and I really like it babe."

"I like that name too actually. It's very sophisticated." He said rubbing my belly

"You ready for our vacation?"

"I am so ready for this baby moon."

"Me too."

-

"Ari... Ari..Aria!" I felt someone say while shaking me

Waking up, I seen Carnell's face. Then came the extreme migraine.

"Please tell me you have pain killers."

"Yes , hold on." He said walking out of my view

Rubbing my eyes and holding my head while I sat up, I realized I had another episode of remembering.

This has happened before but only during my sessions with Dr. Lynn. I always faint or feel in a trance when I start to remember.

"Here." He said handing me a bottle of water and two Advil's

"Thanks." I said taking the pills then drinking the water

"I call them episodes or memory gain. I faint when I start to remember. It starts as a regular memory. An inside thought per say. Then once it starts to overlap with other memories I get overwhelmed. Then overheated which makes me faint...This is me now babe." I said sarcastically nodding my head looking at him

I silently started to cry. I don't know why I feel like someone has stomped my heart into a million pieces. Why did I feel so upset? Was it because I was remembering my life now? The fact that my mom killed herself and left me here? Why was Carnell so gentle? Why do I feel so open with him? Why?!

At this moment I realized that Carnell really did love me. He fought his hardest. I even pushed him away. I am so scared and vulnerable and Carnell's suppose to be my husband or something? I cried even harder at the thought of us loosing our baby. Even more because I thought about leaving Carnell alone when all he wanted to do was love me and for me to be as happy as I can be. For the last two weeks I've been having these episodes every night. They occur as a nightmare at times but they are dreams of what I couldn't remember.

Carnell turned off one of the lights and held onto me as I cried. I was really upset and I know why. I do remember this man. I just honestly don't know what the last five years was like for him. What I do know is.. I do know that he loves me and it scares the living shit out of me and it took five years of us not being together for it to even scare me. I almost lost him before I could even remember!

"I love you flaws and all baby. We're going to get through this together. We're going to fight and our story will be heard. For right now? We just enjoy each other and learn as much as we can about this new part of us." He said looking at me and kissing my hands

I couldn't do anything else but just hug him tightly.