Chapter 6

Carnell

*3 weeks later*

Today we were meeting with Dr. Lynn. We met with her twice a week for about a hour. In my opinion, she's very helpful for us. We understood each other more by telling our stories from our point of view for just about the first time.

We did let her know about about Aria's breakdown and let her know how her memory is coming along. Which was good, it's really a blessing to be where we are today.

"How are you both doing today?" She asked taking a seat in her personal chair

"I'm doing okay, I feel like I'm in a better moods these days." Aria spoke first

"I'm doing alright. Also in a better mood."

"How does that make the both of you feel? Knowing that your both feeling better?" She asked with a smile

Yea, we also mentioned that we're in a relationship again. She thought it was a good step forward with our already semi-set lifestyle.

"Good." We said together then laughing

We were high as a kite right now.

"So what's the topic today guys?" Dr. Lynn asked in all seriousness

"Our miscarriage." I heard Aria say

It was instantly, that I sobered up. She never mentioned our miscarriage. I know we have our feelings towards this but we sleep in the same bed together. You wait until we're high and in therapy to talk about our dead unborn child? I didn't know if I should speak or not speak at all.

"Carnell, are you okay? You got tense when she mentioned the miscarriage." Dr.Lynn spoke again

Dr. Lynn has a mama's voice. It wasn't harmful. It was loving and sweet and you act on her words. In a room full of noise I still heard her.

"She never spoke on it. I didn't push her to. Why did you wait until we've had another therapy session to say how you felt about this? With all the stuff we been through with your memory gain? I was willing to understand and waiting for you!" Maybe I was being dramatic but I still felt some type of way

"Carnell, I understand that your upset, but this session is where I feel comfortable enough for us to talk about that hurt. I didn't mean to upset you but we have heal entirely if we're going to move and and live a "normal" life." She said rubbing my back whole side hugging me

I sighed and wiped my eyes. How could an miscarriage have so much affect on a person? I was hurt. We were so excited for our baby. Why did we have to crash?!

"I blamed myself for the lost of our son. You didn't want to go on a picnic that day. You wanted to go to the beach." I said looking at her. Now I'm in tears.

"If we had never went then our baby would still be here and we would've been together those five years instead of healing off an accident. We didn't remember each other and when I did.." I said gathering my words. "She looked at me as if we didn't have the most deepest history. So, yea I played along to win my girl back she's my lifeline." I was in tears. Loosing our son took the biggest toll on me once I regain my memory. I felt like shit for months.

"I wish our son was here. I was so r-r." I cried out then sniffed. " I was so ready to be the best dad that I could be. After all I didn't have my real parents around. They ad least left me to live but I killed my own son."

It was silent. I reached for tissue from the table and wiped my face.

Hurt was an understatement.

Aria hugged me. She hugged me so tight. Periodically she'd squeeze a little tighter but this hug was well needed because I was letting it out. I'm alone in this world with no parents to guide me. My mom died when I was 3 due to domestic violence and my dad has always been M.I.A.

Yea I managed to live life with my family and I'm grateful but it would've really helped my mental if I ad least had a parent.

"Baby I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It was never my intentions to hurt you. I didn't technically find out that I was pregnant until you got shot. We had a baby and our baby isn't here?!" She said in tears

"After having an episode one day I found myself remembering the entire accident. This was of course, was why I didn't just up and move in because I honestly didn't believe it because my memory matched your word. I didn't want to believe it was true and than it came back in a dream. I have to face my reality's. I learned that from you this past 9 months have been rocky but I feel it can get better. I know us loosing our daughter is hard not to think about but I don't blame you." She said shortly after. She grabbed some tissues and wiping her face off

"Things happen that we cannot control. I blame the driver. He should've said more than just sorry . He left us to die." She sobbed

We were both broken there was no denying that. Me, I was trying to be her knight. I wanted to give Aria the world. I left out a detail during the accident.

That drunk driver came to see us. It was a lot of blood and he must've thought we were dead but, no we both seen him. He apologized so many times. He didn't even get help. We were stranded on the side of an expressway Damn near off a cliff. For 67 hours to be exact. I even heard that I died on the table.

"Thank you for saying that. I still feel in my heart that I should've compromised our options. Could've been a different outcome. I'm just trying to live for the present." I said

"From what you both remember, how were you guys communication before the accident?"

"It was rocky at times but we know each other so well. We basically know when it's a problem with the other before they even get it out." I said answering to my knowledge

"Do you think it has changed?"

"Yes." Aria started " We aren't the same people that we were five years ago. We've been through things that made us look at the world and people differently. It's like starting all over again." She finished

"Relationships tend to grow. Even though there has been a slight gap, that doesn't mean that you can't proceed in a relationship. A good relationship is when someone accepts your past, support your present and encourages your future."

"Noted." Aria said with a small chuckle

Even though I felt better of expressing my hurt towards our loss, I still feel sad that he isn't here. He would've been asking me for a bunch of different Spider-Man toys or something.

"Alright, that was about it for this session. Same time next week?" Dr. Lynn asked

"Actually, could we postpone to the following week?" I asked

I had a trip planned for us and since we were heading back to our lives soon and a vacation would be nice with all the stuff we've had going on. Besides who doesn't love Maldives?

Aria

It was around 7pm and tonight I decided on a seafood boil. I invited Bree and Jacob of course and then Carnell's invited his Mom and brothers. Even a few cousins of his showed up but I'm glad ya girl was in a good mood and I love me some seafood y'all.

With Carnell's and his cousin Amadi's (AH• MA•DE) help, we set the dinning room table and gathered everyone at the table and proceeded to sit. Ms. Adrian lead us with a prayer and we all began to dig in. This food is good as hell. The only thing I forgot was the sauce.

Getting up to head to the kitchen I carefully grabbed the dipping sauce that was in the microwave. I turned around facing Carnell who standing directly behind me.

"Shit, you scared me. You okay?" I asked while he just stared at me

"Yes babygirl, I'm fine." He said kissing my lips softly making me feel mushy inside

"Whatever this is can it wait until after our company leave? I gotta get back to my plate." I said whining holding the sauce

"Yea come on." He said taking my hand laughing while leading us back to the dining room

"There they are!" Everyone cheered as we came walking in

"I hope that's sauce cause I am out of butter." Patrick said waving for me to come over

Luckily for him I was sitting next to him anyways.

Taking our seats we all ate and cracked some jokes here and there but we were all focused on the food.

"So , how have things been for you guys ?" Ms. Adrian asked cracking open her crab leg

Carnell looked at me as I looked at him wanted to answer for the both of us. Clearing his throat and wiping his mouth he proceeded to talk.

"It's been challenging, but not too challenging for us to not get through. I'm glad Ari is okay and willing to move forward. We can try to build and start new."

"Yea, and with me working on gaining my memory and also living with him knowing the stuff I've known already without Carnell is very different too."

"Different how?" She asked

Looking over to Carnell he nodded his head in approval for me to proceed. I guess he wanna hear now too.

"I mean for five years I've known just my mom and Bree and Jacob. When people mentioned B5 I real life swore y'all were my favorite boy band. Then when Carnell got shot there was already a lot of emotions I couldn't explain. I started gaining some memories throughout a lot of conversations that were had. Carnell offered me to live with him. Eventually he told me this was our house-"

"One of them." Patrick said cutting me off

This guy 🥴🙄

"Once I came in I found a guest room and been in there ever since. It wasn't until recently I seen that this was everything. My before life. I didn't even know I designed this house."

"To the exact T. You even did mine." Amadi said cheesing

She then came to show me pictures of her living room and kitchen. I remembered but I remember us last having a fallout because of her not paying her full amount after the balcony installation.

"Yea, I know thanks." I said shutting down anything fake.

What I also remember is, I didn't get the chance to have this conversation with Carnell. I didn't make a big fuss because she paid 80% and when it was time to pay the rest, nothing and I was working with her budget.

"We're doing good overall." Carnell said

"Good enough to come back to work?" Kelly said

"When does practice start again?" He asked

"Starts next month." Bryan said

"I'll talk to my Dr I'm sure I should be clear work."

"Ima stop you right there." Ms. Adrian said

The room got silent as she looked between me and Carnell then around at everyone else.

"Y'all go start cleaning up, let me talk to them." She said

I don't know why but I felt like I was in trouble or something.... weird. Everyone got up picking up what they could and taking it to the kitchen.

"Okay, even though you both say you're good. Carnell you just agreed to go back to touring without even having a conversation with your lady first. You guys been through a lot and one thing I do know is that this life had you both on the rocks all the time because you always picked your life. Son I get it pays your bills but don't loose your forever trying to pay something that'll always be around. Aria, don't loose yourself again.. I get that he's my son but we women tend to forget about ourselves because we're so focused on taking care of everything. Just think about what I'm saying. I'd hate for you both to have to go through all that and not work." She said getting up and heading to the kitchen

I couldn't help but to think of what she was saying.

We soon gathered some extra pillows and blankets for everyone that didn't stay in a guest room and said our good nights and proceeded to bed. Man, I need a vacation...