- Comfort or Callousness -

-Jungkook's POV-

I returned to my caravan, completely exhausted. Maybe I should attempt to get some sleep at least?

No, I'll just end up more tired, knowing that I will wake up a lot during the night. When I took off my blazer, I spotted Areum sitting on the ground with her back against the bed as her journal was in her hands. Her hair was a mess while she desperately scribbled something down.

"Uh, this is garbage.", Areum ripped the page out, not satisfied with the written script, and threw it off to the side against all the other papers.

"Not only are you a waste of space but you're also wasting resources.", I took a seat on my chair while remarking. Areum lifted her head, tilting it slightly towards me with a usual wide smile across her face.

I couldn't deny that her stare kind of irritated me but in a good way. Nevertheless, I mumbled while leaning my head against the wall, "Can you stop staring?"

"You look tired, exhausted even.", she pointed out in concern.

"As always, that's none of your business. I'm your boss therefore do me a favor and close your pretty little mouth.", I ordered gruffly but from the chuckle that escaped her lips, I could tell that she won't follow a single syllable of my order.

"Is my voice that annoying?", Areum teased jokingly and I sighed before lifting my head back up to her who was gaping at her blank page.

Just then I remembered something that irritated me earlier when I found out. Therefore, with no hesitation, I brought up the topic, "I hear about your fight with Taemin."

Areum slowly diverted her eyes from the page towards me, her expression pleading to not scold her but I still proceeded, "You should know that there are consequences to your actions, Hyun Areum.", I lectured strictly as she stayed quiet, "You come here and disrupt the peace in this circus and amongst the crew. Perhaps you should stop and acknowledge what you do and say.", I suggested sharply to make her understand that this circus has standards of behavior.

"I'm sorry, Boss.", Areum voiced out an apology quietly and I was about to accept it but then my shock, Areum countered, "But I don't see where I am at fault."

I peered at her; one eyebrow raised in disbelief. I've never seen someone like Areum... Ever. Usually, an ordinary person would just apologise and continue about their day. But she...

"Where do you even find the guts to be so cocky?", I found myself asking as my curiosity wouldn't stop nagging me.

Areum's gaze became blank as it trailed off to the side, reminiscing something within her mind before she admitted woefully, "I wasn't always like this...", she bit her bottom lip and hugged her knees, continuing her explanation, "I used to be scared to oppose people, however, as time passed, I learned to stand up for what I believe in."

Just then I saw a glint of hatred in her eyes as she gulped, probably swallowing the anguish that came from her previous experiences. Areum now had a frown on her face, "If you don't resist, then people will use you and step on you, all resulting in you being the one to suffer.", she declared bitterly, her lips twitching into a smile reflecting that reality.

All this while, I was concentrating on every single word Areum said, finding her confession interesting yet... Relatable.

As gloomy as it sounds, I wasn't always like this either. For some reason, Areum's words comforted me in some way. We both had our hardships but still despite them, we found a spot to live in this world, no matter how difficult it is to keep it.

Due to my lack of response, Areum looked at me with a glimpse of bewilderment, most likely because I didn't shut her up. Usually, our eye contact would create a tense and heavy atmosphere but this time...

It's as though we found solace in soothing silence and stares, slowly stitching the shards of our shattered souls.

Momentarily when that thought pierced my mind, I've shaken my conscious self back to reality, clearing my throat rather awkwardly, changing the topic, "Have you and Baekhyun prepared something? I don't want tomorrow's show to be a flop because of you."

Areum too snapped back to reality, nodding quickly, "Yes, we did."

The room went silent once again but in no time, it was broken when Areum shifted in her place and laid down on her stomach with her right ear against the floor before initiating a prayer, "Oh dear Satan, if you hear me, I beg of you... Please take me before the knives are thrown at me.", she pleaded cutely.

I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear but she didn't see it so it was okay for me to admire her weird behavior. Areum had something within her that kept pulling me towards her but as much as I tried, I couldn't pinpoint what it was.

However, soon I had to dispose of that smile when she sat back up in order to avoid giving her a wrong idea.

Areum was visibly bothered by tomorrow's performance no matter how much she tried to cover it up at the moment by displaying a blank expression so I asked, "Are you scared?"

"No, no...", Areum stated sarcastically before proceeding further, "I'm so excited to have knives thrown at me so of course, I'm not scared!"

"Deal with it.", I replied bluntly, dismissing her complaint. It was kind of entertaining to see this girl losing her chill from the day she entered this circus.

Areum scoffed before glaring slightly, "I'd see how you'd like to have knives thrown at you.", she pouted in annoyance.

Does she really think that I wasn't in her place before?

"I wasn't always a showman, Hyun Areum.", I found myself explaining in order to defend her accusations even though I'm not obligated to explain myself to this eight years younger girl. Yet still, along the lines, I confessed, "I was in your position too."

It was true. Just a year ago, I was in Areum's position helping Baekhyun to deliver a successful performance. I didn't want to admit it out loud to Areum but I was rather scared for the first few times as well. It's not like I was one senseless bastard who's unable to understand the worry eating her up at the moment.

The fear will vanish into a thin air though... That is, once she'll be able to accept her role. The adrenaline with each performance makes you forget why that terror is out there in the first place. Perhaps it was only me thinking this way? After all, I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else but this circus.

I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes shut as I obtained some peace when Areum had nothing else to say. Some time has passed in this deafening silence but then, a finger poking my cheek drove a jolt out of me as I stood up and out of reflex grabbed Areum's wrist.

Her innocence filled face was within reach of mine, her breath fanning my lips while my eyes bored into her perplexed ones. I spoke strictly yet warningly, "Don't ever touch me. Know your place."

"And yet, you're the one who's touching me.", Areum pointed out, referring to her wrist that was still locked in my palm.

A brutal realisation kicked in before I slowly retreated my hand from her wrist and sat back down on the seat. Areum still stood there awkwardly, seemingly self-conscious of what to do. After a few seconds of contemplation, her voice filled the caravan again, "I thought you might've died, so I decided to check up on you. Sorry, Boss.", she apologised sincerely.

For some reason, I felt offended by her excuse so I clarified to assure her of one fact, "Hyun Areum, your boss is planning to live for a long time. I'm only twenty-eight years old so there's no need to fear for my life. So, don't worry and fear for your own instead."

I saw how she nodded and picked up her journal before walking out of the caravan wordlessly. A sigh escaped my mouth, knowing that I was a bit harsh with her by bursting at her like that.

But she'll get used to it.

Just like everyone else did.

The next evening...

-Areum's POV-

I stood behind the velvet curtain, peeking through as the performances went on. An enormous audience gathered here tonight to get a glance at the stars of the show risking their lives to deliver something unbelievable. This was my first time too when I spectated each performance and to say that I was taken aback was an understatement...

I was utterly astonished by the uniqueness of the crew. They were so different on stage... Their eyes glowed and sparkled as though they were thrilled and passionate to pour their souls out to express their own artistic colour.

The colour was different compared to the one that laid behind the curtain. The stage as though made them alive.

Even Jungkook appeared to be a whole new person on stage. Unlike his usual self, he had a huge smile plastered on his face as he presented and led the whole circus show. Although it was clearly a mask he put on, deep down I wished he would be able to loosen up around me and the crew.

I just wish that Jungkook would be happier one day.

Even though I was enjoying each performance, at the same time, as each second dragged by, the pit in my stomach grew... Mine and Bacon's turn was approaching and I wanted nothing more than to run away but I had to commit as much as I wished to chicken out.

Just then, I felt a touch of a hand on my shoulder, seeing Baekhyun right beside me who gave a reassuring smile, "Don't worry everything will be fine. I'll be extra careful today."

"How can I trust you, Bacon?", uncertainty was evident in my voice as I asked him.

"Well, you will bloody learn to trust me.", he patted my shoulder, and then it was our time to get on the platform.

Inhaling few shaky breaths, I walked out with Baekhyun while forcing out a smile and greeted the audience by walking one lap around while waving. All of them seemed to anticipate another unbelievable performance opposite from me who stood now against the target, insides shaking. Baekhyun was blindfolded.

A stagehand gave Baekhyun his knife and in no time, it was thrown at me making the crowd gasp excitedly. The knife landed right beside my ear, then throwing another one to another side.

Next, I had an apple situated on my head and Baekhyun managed to impale the apple instead of my head. The poses progressed but my anxiety grew to unknown heights with each sound of a knife landing on a different side. The climax was the last drop to my accelerating heart...

I was tied down to the wheel as it started spinning. Not only was I sick in the stomach but I was about to shriek, knowing that Baekhyun will throw three knives and with each one, the wheel will spin faster.

Baekhyun aimed his knife at me, the sight of it giving me so many awful memories flashing right in my eyes. I could swear that I almost felt all of the anguish and agony coming back to me.

The perfect smile masking my scared state has begun quivering but I tried to remain composed while my whole body was starting to be covered in a cold sweat.

It's like I'm reliving the nightmare all over again.

Without realising, a knife landed right next to my right arm and I almost flinched at that but I managed to prevent it. Why is this happening to me?

The wheel's pace increased and the second knife landed next to my left leg... That's when the wheel spun at a maximum speed and as a result, the crowd was heard whispering in growing obscurity and excitement.

My breathing increased, the image in front of me becoming too burry due to the spinning while I fought the urge to throw up and close my eyes.

The wheel was spinning so fast... How will he not miss?

As I was about to pass out, the wheel stopped and the knife landed right above my head... One more centimeter and I'd be dead.

Baekhyun removed his blindfold while the other performers assisting Baekhyun, untied the ropes around me and I was finally able to stand on my two feet. I felt dizzy but I couldn't possibly display it openly. The only thing I could do was to fake a smile again and walk towards Baekhyun before joining hands together, bowing to show gratitude to the audience.

People cheered and whistled, throwing their money and flowers on to the stage. Although I looked excited, all I wanted to do was to leave.

The relief surrounded me when we finally were escorted off the platform, my legs wobbling with every step.

When we were behind the curtain, my legs finally gave up and I collapsed straight into somebody's embrace. It was Jungkook glancing at me indifferently.

I breathed out, meeting his gaze, "Did I pass or fail this one?"

"You tell me.", Jungkook passed on the bait on me completely.

It was irritating me at the moment. His usual unbothered attitude. The clear ungratefulness. Not being able to hold my emotions any longer, I snapped while abruptly pushing Jungkook off from me, "Not even a compliment or a "you both did well", huh? Is this how you treat your crew?", I question, rage flaming my vocal cords as my voice cracked up due to unsettling anxiety that this performance brought upon me.

"Areum, stop— ", Baekhyun tried to step in but was mercilessly cut off by me who was desperate to beat some sense into the bastard who calls himself boss.

"They risk their lives and here you are, not giving a care in the world.", I said all of that right while throwing daggers at him with my eyes.

And yet no matter what, my words were like a drop in the ocean as Jungkook had no change whatsoever when he asked, "Are you done?", I looked at him in disbelief.

How stuck up can he get?

"No, I'm not done. However, I won't waste your time either... Boss.", I emphasised his title in total resentment, currently despising him being near me.

"Good, because we have a show to finish.", Jungkook muttered under his breath.

I nodded before retorting, now in a calmer manner, "I'll consider that I passed then.", Jungkook gave no response so I wasted no time and rushed out of the tent in order to get fresh air.

I couldn't stay here right now. I needed a source to regain my breath.