- Second Chances -

Later that afternoon...

-Jungkook's POV-

I tapped my foot impatiently on the ground in anticipation and obscurity. Today is the day that will determine whether Areum stays here.

She'll have to show performance in order for us to determine whether she can become a performer here. I and the rest of the crew are going to be the judges for today.

No external audiences.

The rest of the members were chattering quietly amongst each other while my eyes were focused on the entrance of the tent, waiting for Areum.

For some reason, I felt oddly nervous. Anxious as though I am in Areum's position. But the question was...

Why am I so worried about her?

Despite feeling nervous, I also felt bucketing filled with embarrassment pouring all over me.

I fell asleep on Areum's shoulder and woke up, hugging her by her tiny waist. How laughable is that?

Just thinking about it causes me a need to bury myself right at this spot. I ran a hand over my face, groaning in annoyance.

Forget it Jungkook. Just forget it. This will never happen again. I was just exhausted, nothing else.

What a disgrace. I allowed myself to weaken in front of Areum.

For the first time in years, all I wished was that Areum would not make fun of me because of my utter mistake.

What truly surprised me was that Areum didn't mention anything about it. She woke up and went about the day as though nothing ever even happened.

My thoughts were brushed away when my pupils spotted Areum entering the tent.

I was expecting her to be calm and at peace like this early morning but she looked completely the opposite.

Uncertain and muddled in her own unarranged world.

Areum was looking down like a terrified bunny while fidgeting with her fingers as though it was the closest relief at the moment.

Her body language didn't indicate anything good to me. As I glanced at the crew, from their expressions, I could tell that I wasn't the only one noticing that something is going to go downhill.

Everything was just not a good sign.

Areum finally halted and faced all of us who had composed auras as she stood lamely taking a spot on the stage.

Her stance was rather awkward as my eyes followed her hands that were shaking.

Instantly I was alarmed that Areum didn't prepare enough.

The crew members now were silent so it was my cue to command coldly, "You may begin, Hyun Areum."

"I-if I wore b-black and white at t-the same time...", Areum stuttered shakily and then asked rhetorically, "What does that make me?"

She visibly went pale when her eyes finally spotted me staring intensely at her.

Meanwhile, I inhaled and closed my eyes briefly because anger has begun surfacing within my chest.

Areum's failure was wordlessly coming through the edges...

Not only she used cheap jokes like any street comedian out there but she as well failed to tell them.

Through the corner of my eye, I could see Taemin face-palming while Soojin scrunched her nose, trying to hold in her laughter.

I diverted my eyes back to Areum who appeared as though she will explode into an emotional mess any time now.

The next thing was when she faked her voice, bursting an answer to her question which was 'dalmatian dog', and failing miserably because no one found it funny.

Well... Soojin was silently dying in the background.

But not because of the joke.

Because of the satisfaction that comes from Areum's failure.

For the past few weeks, Areum was supposed to be preparing... Was I hoping for too much?

Why do I feel like my hopes that I thought didn't exist were being shattered right now?

She was supposed to be prepared. She was supposed to be fine.

Then whatever is happening today?

Is she giving up?

Areum currently attempted to create some motion and directed towards the exit, throwing yet another joke.

"I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks...", she stopped abruptly and jumped slightly, throwing her arms up, "I'm outstanding!"

Right at that second, the laugh emitted out of Baekhyun's mouth which was clearly fake. It soon died when I warningly glared at him.

Baekhyun's eyes widened when he caught my glare therefore he quickly hid behind Jiu.

I focused my attention back on Areum who was about to throw another lousy joke...

"You failed. Enough.", my gruff order caused her opened mouth to close unquestionably.

I rose from my seat as I saw nod dumbly, not daring to meet my gaze or even protesting like she always would.

Even though I was well aware that Areum was capable of performing better, the disappointment radiating from within blinded me like the sun in the clear blue sky.

"Mind explaining the reasons behind your failure?", I now stood in front of her whose didn't have any trace of courage to look at me.

It was shocking for me because Areum would never miss a chance to make eye contact with me. It raised so many questions...

Did I fail to notice something?

Why am I even concerned about her failure? I should be happy.

Areum let out a sigh, "I failed. I will head on my way now.", Areum smiled slightly, "Maybe dig a grave of shame on the way."

Areum was about to leave but I caught her wrist before she could take even a step, "Wait outside first. I have some things to discuss."

"As you wish.", Areum murmured lowly before turning to leave the tent.

With her absence, the crew's voices echoed through the tent as they talked amongst themselves about Areum's poor performance. I just listened to what they had to say.

As much as I hate to admit it, their opinion mattered to me too.

"This is not like Areum. I know that she was capable of doing better.", Baekhyun claimed, defending Areum.

Jiu crossed her arms and nodded in agreement staring at the exit of the tent, "Bacon, haven't you seen her?", she asked Baekhyun who was pacing nervously back and forth.

Jiu continued her point, "Her face displayed clear exhaustion... All because she was given too many things to do at once."

I knew these words were directed towards me even though Jiu didn't glance at my side.

"Even I wouldn't be able to undertake so much work.", Jiu breathed out before sitting down on the bench.

Taemin on the other hand scoffed at Jiu's statement, "Indeed, but that still doesn't change the fact that she failed nor it is an excuse for her failure. We all work hard here so she is expected to do the same.", he rubbed the fact into everyone's faces.

"Exactly and the boss does not give second chances...", Soojin chimed in, thrilled by the failure of this mock as she leaned back supporting her body with her hands against the bench, "I suppose you should go and bid your farewells to her."

Baekhyun panicked and turned to face me before rushing up to me and asking desperately with puppy eyes, "Boss, can't Areum get another chance?"

"I made it clear that if she fails, she's out. I let her in with a condition to succeed. Areum failed.", my response may have been harsh but it was the promise from the very start.

Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak again but when he saw that I gave him a warning look, he reluctantly closed it.

Baekhyun nodded with a saddened face," As you wish, Boss."

Wordlessly, I got up from the bench to walk outside as I still heard them discussing amongst themselves despite my decision.

My ears heard Yeosang speaking, "Areum could've succeeded but her movements indicated that the stress and pressure took a toll out of her."

"Your words are of truth, Yeosang.", Jiu supported Yeosang's argument, adding, "Just a few weeks ago, I saw the fire in her eyes but today it's as though I was looking at a stranger."

Jiu's words made me slow down my steps, clogging some contemplation within my busy mind...

Perhaps they were right?

Was it right to solely blame Areum for her failure?

Just now I recalled all the times when I was perhaps being too strict and harsh on her.

I remembered all the consequences of failure that I used to remind her if she didn't succeed. It most likely wasn't encouraging but rather terrifying to deal with alone.

I assigned her to so many roles at once, completely forgetting that she has to succeed in her main one.

I abandoned the fact that Areum was a human too...

If anything, I had to be blamed as well. It was my failure in a teaching role. I never taught anyone before.

Areum was my first student. I never taught any of the crew members while with Areum, I oddly urged to be there when she learns her role in the circus.

Was it because of the anger within me that was around when Areum emerged into my life as an unexpected storm?

Or was it an immediate pull and attraction that led me to come back to her over and over again?

But my main concern at the moment was whether I should grant Areum another chance...

I've been known as a man of my word and giving Areum another chance.

If I do give her a chance...

Won't it be the same as stripping down my pride?

Deep down within my being, I knew it wasn't a matter of pride...

It was something stronger that kept me tied to the thought of not letting go.

Aish, this woman will be the end of me.

Hyun Areum, you disrupted my peaceful life.

Just then a memory of my father's words from eight years ago crashed down upon my eyes.

It was the day when he was preparing me to overtake Circus Mistique.

- 8 years ago -

My father took me out of the trapeze practice for a walk. Currently, we were wandering around the train that carries our circus to different towns to witness the greatness of our performances.

Father seemed oddly peaceful on this very sunny summer day, enjoying his old days.

"Jungkook.", my father stopped and looked at me with hands behind his back. I diverted my attention to him, "One day, you will become the owner of Circus Mistique. You'll hold a great responsibility not only to make this circus successful but also to support your companions."

He smiled at me in a proud manner, "The people that will contribute to Circus Mistique success."

I remembered how my father told me about the humble beginnings of Circus Mistique as a bedtime story when I was still a child.

People used to display deep hate for the weird form of entertainment in this circus. To the point where sometimes groups of local people would organise attacks, shouting in their faces just how freaky people within the circus were.

The memory led me to ask curiously, "Is it difficult to be the boss of this circus, father?"

"It's not if you don't make it difficult for yourself, Jungkook.", he replied before explaining his answer, "Being the boss doesn't revolve around having control of everything within this circus. Including the crew."

"Then what does it revolve around?", I asked quickly, eager to know what's my father's perception of being the boss.

For the past few years, my father's health worsened and the time when I lose him approaches rapidly. I was terrified of losing the last person who was so close to me.

That's why I find myself appreciating conversations as such while there is still a reasonable amount of time left to memorise my loved one's face.

After putting slight thought into his answer, my father responded while staring at the clear blue sky, "It revolves around being fair and just both to yourself and others. You have to be able to support others when they face hardships and encourage them."

I nodded, agreeing to his point but I had one argument against his view so with no hesitation I stated what I thought, "But is it possible to be like that when someone fails at what they're doing and as a result, it affects others? They don't deserve a second chance then, isn't it right?"

My old man just shook his head, chuckling slightly in his tired voice, "You're wrong, son. Second chance should be given to encourage one into the path of success."

I just listened attentively as he elaborated, "Once in our lives, we all are knocked down by a huge failure which will be engraved deep within our memory for the rest of your life."

I watched him bend down slightly and plucking off a daisy from the ground, admiring it, "Failure can push you to create amazing things. It encourages you to become better to forget the embarrassment and taste of the failure."

The feelings of admiration and envy were not enough to describe just how much he puts thought into describing his role and the concept of second chances.

He suddenly laughed soundly as though recalling something from his past experiences and then turned to look at me again.

"My close friend failed his very first trapeze performance. It was a huge slap on his face. However, that one failure ignited so much determination into him..."

My father spotted his friend carrying equipment and waved at him as the friend waved him back with a wide grin over his features.

My father then continued while still looking at his friend further away from us, "The very next day, he became a whole new person. He worked. He improved. He succeeded. All because of a wish to soothe the shame of failure."

I was still utterly confused as to why my father was telling me all of this. What's his point? With that question, I asked wanting to find out, "And by all of this, what are you implying?"

Father approached me closer and patted my shoulder, giving it an assuring grip, "It takes one failure to succeed."

On that day, I couldn't comprehend why these second chances were of importance.

His belief appeared to be unbelievable and unrealistic in my eyes.

Maybe one day I'll be able to understand by some chance.

<---->

I was walking out of the tent with uncertainty clouding my already flooded mind.

I really was conflicted with every step that I took.

Was I truly prepared to grant a second chance when I never do so?

Maybe my father was right? One failure can lead to success?

But am I willing to risk Circus Mistique reputation for that woman?

Why am I even considering this crazy idea?

I usually dismiss people without second thoughts...

My pace slowed down when I spotted Areum standing a bit further away from the entrance with her head dipping down while fidgeting with her fingers...

She was disappointed and deprived of any determination.

"Hyun Areum, as you know, you failed miserably.", my voice caught Areum's distracted state as she briefly flashed her eyes at me before looking down again.

"I know... I suppose Soojin was right.", she took a shaky breath, concluding disappointingly, "I don't belong here."

A sigh escaped my lips when I observed her who was about to break down if I say another word regarding her failure.

But that's not what was bothering me right now. I was afraid...

When I first met Areum, I discovered the potential in her eyes, and just this early morning, I still saw it when she smiled like the purest being out there.

So if I look into her eyes now...

Would it still be there?

I couldn't stand her not even sparing a glance at me so I ordered her ever so softly, "Hyun Areum, look at me."

As expected, Areum didn't obey making me think of the level of stubbornness she had to disobey me every time.

With a heavy heart, I walked closer to her until the space between us was minimum when I stood in front of her.

I placed my finger under her chin, gradually raising her head to meet my dark eyes as I felt something within me explode.

Her stare evoked so many long-hidden feelings which was the thing that scared me if I gave her a second chance.

I was frightened to fall for Areum.

Nevertheless, I took my sweet time to observe her galaxy like orbs, searching for something that would lead me to tie her to this circus.

Within the pitch colour of her tired eyes, I obtained all sorts of emotions...

Disappointment. Shame...

Even embarrassment.

However, there in her worn-out eyes... I still saw it. The potential that led me to accept her into this circus and my life.

I made my decision.

"Hyun Areum, do you recall what I asked you before I gave you a chance here?", I asked while recalling the day of our interview.

I still held her chin as I leaned towards her, our faces close to each other. Areum answered slowly, not entirely sure, "You asked me if I was embarrassed by my words and actions..."

I nodded satisfied with her answer, "And you told me that being embarrassed over such small things is a waste of time.", I moved my finger away from her chin and moved a hair strand behind her ear, "If you were, you would've run out looking like a tomato."

Areum chuckled slightly yet humourlessly, "Yah, Boss. Is this your goodbye present? Reminding me of my exact words?"

A smirk crept upon my lips, finding amusement in her words.

"It would be a goodbye present if I ordered you to leave."

"Yes, well --- wait, what?", Areum was shocked staring at me in disbelief, probably not sure whether she heard me right.

I felt myself looking away from her as I moved away from Areum, not wanting to face the fact that I'm actually giving her another chance.

My hands were finding a way behind my back as roamed my eyes everywhere but not her as I clarified, "Tomorrow we have a show, a real one. You'll perform in front of those people as your final test."

For the first time in the time I spent around Areum, I glanced at her with hopeful eyes, "I'm risking a lot for your second chance. Don't you dare fail me this time, Hyun Areum."

With a racing heart when our eyes made an uncomfortable contact, I proceeded to walk past her and was about to exit when the softness of her voice stopped me.

"Thank you, Boss."

The silence was my only response to her, so I left the tent, leaving Areum with a failure to solve.

I hope that I don't regret this.

-Areum's POV-

Speechless, I watched Jungkook leaving the tent with wide eyes. My heart was beating against my chest from unexplainable joy.

He actually gave me a second chance?

I heard Jungkook never went against his word... Then why?

Crouching down, I held my chest as I heaved a sigh of relief. The hope is not lost yet and although the embarrassment will haunt me forever, this time I will make everything right.

I won't follow the trend.

This will be Hyun Areum's performance. It will have its originality that no one else would be able to imitate.

My thoughts were cut off when I saw Baekhyun marching towards me with the happiest smile on his face, pointing a finger at me as though I was some abnormal species.

"Who bloody are you and what did you bloody do to our Boss?!", he exclaimed as I stood up laughing slightly at him.

"I don't know... Really.", I shrugged glancing briefly at the direction where Jungkook headed to and then back at bewildered Baekhyun.

"You must be a bloody witch!", Baekhyun proclaimed ridiculously.

"No, she probably begged for it and he pitied her. Stop downgrading yourself.", Soojin came out of the tent with a scowl upon her pretty face as her arms were crossed over her chest.

She walked past me, purposely bumping her shoulder with mine. I couldn't deny that her words made me somehow believe as to why Jungkook granted me another chance.

Perhaps Soojin was right. Jungkook maybe did pity me from the very start and that's why he went against his own word.

This fact made me even more disappointed in myself than I already was. But what did I expect? I came here at my most pitiful state and now I am a perfect object to pity every time someone sees me.

I looked down as these thoughts crumbled my sanity piece by piece. Just then I felt Baekhyun patting my shoulder as though knowing how I felt, "Don't mind her. She can be kind when she bloody wants to be."

Pushing these thoughts aside for a while, I nodded but then asked nervously, "Bacon, how bad was my performance?"

"Uhm... Well...", Baekhyun tittered nervously, scratching his neck, "Do you want me to lie or be honest?"

I waved my hand in dismissal, "Nevermind. I know, it was awful."

"You're right. It was a bloody disgraceful sight."

I nodded accepting his rather sarcastic remark.

But then my eyes popped wide when Baekhyun suddenly cupped my cheeks harshly, smushing them together purposely as he spoke fast and desperately.

"Don't you dare fail or I'll bloody cry if you leave! You've been the best target I've ever had and I bloody enjoyed throwing knives at you!"

What did he just say? This bitch. He enjoys throwing the knives at me while I die inside every time it hits the target?!

"Excuse me?!", I yanked his hands away from my cheeks in a playful manner.

Baekhyun grinned teasingly, "If you need motivation, I'm here but don't you dare bloody leave.", he pouted like a little kid, not wanting his favourite pet to be taken away from him.

I grabbed his nose making Baekhyun frown, "Don't worry Bacon. I'll make sure to stay here to annoy our Boss longer.", the thought of annoying Jungkook made me happy and motivated.

I released his cute little nose before and Baekhyun a fake tear, retorting sarcastically, raising my mood by a thousand.

"What a Queen you are."