38

There are no

Goodbyes for us.

Wherever you are,

You will always be

In my heart.

"All ready?" asks Amy, Alex's mom, with tears in her eyes. I nod from yes and look at my two suitcases. Today is the day I have to say goodbye to my friends, to my new home. Lizz is standing behind her mother, also with tears in her eyes. I crouch and open my arms, 'Come here princess' I say as Lizz walks straight to me and nestles in my arms.

'I will come back. And I'm going to call once a week and then we can play princess together, okay?' I ask her while she plays with the dots of my hair. She nods yes and gives me another kiss on my cheek. "Ready?" asks Finn who's gonna take me to the airport. We had agreed that I would say goodbye to the rest there.

I haven't seen Alex since we ended our relationship a few days ago. Owen wanted to talk to me about it a few times, but each time I made it clear to him that I don't want to talk about it. "Yes," I say when I look around the house for the last time. All kinds of memories come out of the great moments with my friends. The nerf fights, the movie nights...

The drive to the airport takes a few hours. In those few hours, Finn and I sang along with the songs, told jokes, and talked about movies. "I'm going to miss you" he suddenly says as he takes a look at me from the road. I feel the tears coming into my eyes but stop them. I'm not going to cry. "I'm going to miss you too" I whisper back. 'I'm going to meet you face-to-face at least once a week with facetime so we can see a movie together. It's going to be difficult with the hour difference but we're going to succeed, right?' he asks hopefully. I smile at him reassuringly, "Of course it's going to work out, even if I have to get up at 3 o'clock at night.'

I'm dragging my two suitcases into the airport. Finn had insisted on carrying my suitcases for me but I wouldn't let him, his and his family have already done enough for me. At the airport, I immediately see my group of friends. Kim and Lexi were holding a banner saying "We're going to miss you". Aiden and Rayen are each holding a teddy bear. My gaze glides to Jax and Owen who already have tears in their eyes. I look around but there's no one left for me, no Alex. With a feeling like there is a stone in my stomach and my heart is in pieces, I walk to my girlfriends. They meet me halfway and we raise our arms around each other.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," I tell them. The tears run silently down my cheeks when I hear them say the same thing back. So we had to stand in a hug for a few minutes before the girls walk to their boyfriends' arms to be comforted by them. Aiden and Rayen each come to me with a smile, but I can also see the tears in their eyes.

'We each have a cuddly bear for you so that you don't forget us, and that you take them into bed and cuddle them while your thoughts are with us'. Says Aiden with a wink but I see a tear slipping out of his eye because of this action. I pull him in a hug and feel some tears falling on my shoulder. 'There is dust in my eye' he murmurs in my ear. This makes me laugh and I feel him laugh a little too. I now turn to Rayen, 'I also have dust in my eye' he says as he rubs his cheeks to wipe away the tears. I have to laugh again, through my own tears, when I grab hold of him, 'Me too, this looks like a dust attack' I say to him. Rayen roars it out with laughter, which makes me feel better.

I now turn around to Owen, who doesn't want to meet my gaze. Without saying anything I put my arms around him and let my head rest against his chest. I feel him break underneath me and hold him a little firmer. His arms now grab me as well when we both start crying harder. 'I'm going to miss you so much. You are my sister, and you always will be,' he assures me. I start crying harder and the same thing happens to him. I think we looked so pathetic that Jax couldn't take it anymore and came into our cuddle with us.

'We love you' he says and Owen nods approvingly. "I love you too" I mumble. I withdraw and wipe away the tears of Owen and Jax with my hands. Jax in turn does the same with my tears. 'I'm going to look for a job in Belgium so that I can come and visit you every holiday' assures them, 'So you just have to spend a few months without me'.

I'll give them another kiss and say goodbye to Finn, "Tell him I love him, will you?" I'll ask him. Finn nods and gives me one last kiss on my forehead. I hear my flight being called and walk to the counter. Before I'm out of sight, I look back one last time in the hope that Alex would be there to wish me goodbye, but my life is not a movie and all I see are my friends waving at me for the last time.

I look out of the window of the plane to the country below me. A lonely tear for the boy I thought to be my future slips away, 'Farewell' I whisper.