Return

I was done digging two hours and forty-seven minutes later.

It took me another hour and five minutes to put the seven cold bodies in the grave. Kendalyn stirred, but none of them woke.

I returned to my place and released my consciousness.

Waking up three hours and twenty-nine minutes later, I woke to the sound of the others stirring. It was dawn again.

Elengail looked around in confusion, then panic. "Where are the bodies?"

"Calm," I replied, "I finish... hole at night."

I was getting concerned looks from all three of them.

"I not finish bury them so you speak last words for friends."

They walked cautiously past me to where we dug the hole.

I remained where I had rested. It was not my business what the women had to say for their friends.

It was four minutes and twenty seconds before I heard shovels in use, stood, and joined them.

"Don't you have words for them?" Elengail asked.

"No words they know."

"Any words are better than the silence you are giving now."

I sighed, and looked up. In English, I said, "May your souls find rest in whatever afterlife is held in store for you. Thank you." I said my thanks quietly.

Then I started shoveling the pile we had created yesterday back into the hole.

It took considerably less time to refill the hole. We were done in two hours.

I asked the god of stone to craft grave markers out of the ground. Because it was using existing materials, it would last beyond my concentration. And if I knew anything about myself, I would forget quickly. Too quickly.

The others paid final respects while I found food. The loot room of the cave wasn't too far from the entrance. It held the provisions and goods of former merchants. Mostly necessities.

I found a wicker basket with straps like the backpacks the villagers would use. I packed the travel rations I could find in the basket for our journey back to Farsfield.

When I returned outside, the three women were back in the clearing, looking around panicked.

"Problem?"

They all spun around. Mayliam gave a sigh of relief. "We thought you had left us behind. You've always been pretty aloof."

"I get food for walk. We go?"

"Yeah, we can go."

The women rolled up and grabbed the bedrolls they had used the previous night, and their shovels.

After waiting for them, I lead them down the dirt path. "When you tired, hungry, say."

Thirty-seven minutes later, Elengail asked for a break. I pulled out some of the foodstuffs I brought. Hard flatbread and cheese with jerky. I didn't intend to eat, because I wasn't hungry.

"You must keep up your strength, Argolex." Mayliam insisted.

"I have enough."

She leaned up close. Her round face filled my normal range of vision. "Eat something. Do it yourself, or I'll do it for you."

Though a darker part of me considered her offer, for a split second, I set my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back gently. "Fine. I will eat."

She smiled as I picked up some jerky and took a bite. It was bland when compared to the jerky I had known in my last life. But it was food, and it was enough to get Mayliam off my back.

After we had finished eating, I repacked the excess trail food and put the basket back on my back.

"Let me carry that. At least for a little bit." Kendalyn said.

I shook my head. "You have bed. I will carry food."

"Stop shouldering everything yourself," Mayliam interjected, "It's okay to ask for help, or at least let someone who offered help."

I turned away, down the path, and started walking. Even if I did have a response to what Mayliam said, I would also need to know how to say it in her language, which was a skill I lacked.

I heard their whispers behind me for a moment longer before I heard their footsteps rush to catch up to me.

We took additional breaks after about each half hour of walking, until we arrived back at Farsfield.

The village was still raw carnage. We approached the location of the initial battle first. It was impossible for me to identify each villager who had fallen. It was all crimson. At the very least, I could tell which weren't villagers.

Kendalyn and Elengail dropped their shovels, ran in different directions, but each picked up the lifeless form of a man. Kendalyn cradled the corpse's head, tears welling in her eyes. Elengail set her partner's motionless head in her lap, then stroked his blood-stained curls.

Their wails echoed through the ghost town as I continued to the hospital-church. The other girl met me partway.

"Faivere!" Mayliam shouted, hugging the soiled blonde.

She hugged Mayliam back, then pulled away, still an arm's length apart. "The others?"

Mayliam bit her lower lip and averted her gaze.

"I couldn't find anyone else here. Just us and Argolex, huh?"

"Kendalyn, Elengail live."

"And Argolex knows a name beyond the people at the church." she was smiling.

"Four name easier than hundred." I looked away, avoiding her gaze.

"I started a communal grave. It's with the founders." she said, pointing past some houses. The two-story hospital-church loomed just to the right of where she pointed. The large hole in the wall was visible from this distance.

"You go dig. I bring Elengail, Kendalyn."

Without waiting for a response, I returned to the original battlefield. I passed half-destroyed homes that smelled of ash.

Neither woman had moved much from their positions in holding their deceased significant others.

"We bring them by church? Faivere dig. We..." I struggled to remember the right words.

Elengail stood, picked up her former companion, and left without a word. I helped Kendalyn by carrying the body. Both had tear streaks down their faces, and were covered in gore and grime. Kendalyn was still sobbing quietly as she followed.

The hole Faivere had dug was wide, but shallow. And perhaps not wide enough. I gently set the body I held on the ground in the shade of the hospital-church, picked up a shovel, and got to work.

We shoveled until dark, the others taking breaks occasionally, and forcing me to join at least every other.

By nightfall, the grave was wide and long enough by our estimates, and perhaps a foot and a half deep.

As we bedded down for the night, Faivere started a conversation. "So... Goblins, and hooded guy. What happened to them?"

Mayliam glanced nervously at me. When I did not answer, she did. "Argolex killed them. Every last one."

I gave them no reaction as I sat against a wall and closed my eyes.

"Oh."

Yes. I had killed them. I had served justice. Why, then, was I so frustrated? That's right. I was the one who made the mistake that resulted in women -- people -- dying. I had overexerted myself in that last attack, and was unable to protect them. Kalamay. Aubrielle. Stephasha.

It was my fault.