Chapter Five

During the weekend my mind turns, I want to believe that the conversation with Jeanne Nizzari does not affect me but it is the opposite, I think and relive every moment whenever I can and I end up imagining situations that could have happened, I sigh serving myself a portion of cereal and I watch the news on television, there she is, giving an important conference and referring to the huge amounts of money that she will donate to the construction of a hospital, her image on the screen disloys me and I decide to finally pay it. At what point did Jeanne Nizzari take over my head?

A day went by without doing absolutely nothing, when I think a lot I like to stay in bed and continue with my thoughts. How can I look at Jeanne Nizzari as before? It is clear that from now on my feelings have changed and the way I see her too, the mystery that surrounds her and her constant mood swings leave me restless and all I want to do is know more and more about her, empty my refrigerator which only had a beer and I go back to my bed with parsimony, I know what I should do, forget about that woman because it is clear that nothing will happen between her and me, but still I know that it is the opposite of what I want do, I want to feel it, in every possible way ...

I have wet dreams in which she makes me hers, Jeanne's eyes never leave me and I know that I'm fucking lost, I have no going back to what I've gotten myself into, there's no way out. The next day I get up to go to the mansion, for the first time I choose a set of clothes that is closer to my body than normal, I let go of my hair that falls in waves down my back and I decide to put on a minimal amount of makeup that without Yet it makes noticeable changes to my face.

I travel by bus pending the time, I count the seconds to arrive and see the owner of my thoughts after two days imagining her over and over again, I notice the gaze of various men on my body when I get off the bus and show them the finger of the half in response, a piece of meat I am not. I walk towards the mansion and the guard receives me, I greet him and he just nods his head, he never speaks more than necessary but now I notice how his gaze travels through my body and I look at him frowning.

I pass him by giving him a look of boredom and for the first time I regret having changed my style somewhat carefree and with shirts bigger than me, how I don't have time to go home and change, I just go into the mansion and there I find Jeanne with a man who dresses elegant. I walk silently to get to his position and the first thing I do is look at Jeanne, she is wearing her typical white blazer and matching pants, perhaps I stay a long time looking at him because the man clears his throat and I notice how two pairs of eyes do not stop of looking at me, making me cringe.

-She is Emma, Marie's nanny, Emma he is Omar- points to the dark-haired man who smiles at me from ear to ear giving me a review.

"Nice to meet you Emma, Jeanne didn't tell me that your babysitter was so beautiful" she winks at me as my cheeks turn red and Jeanne shoots a furious look at the man.

-Excuse us Omar, I must give Emma some indications- Jeanne was upset? Or was I getting ideas in my head? I follow her to the second floor and we enter her office in total silence, truly annoyed and she crosses her arms as she continues to watch me from behind her desk.

-Omar will be at home during this week and so will I, anyway I need you to take care of Marie because I will be focused on doing other things -he says looking at me from head to toe over and over again, the strangest thing is that it doesn't bother me at all. Do it ....

-It's fine, Mrs. Jeanne-I say avoiding her insistent gaze-I'll go for Marie if you'll excuse me-she nods and I leave the room with my hands sweating, in short, Jeanne Nizzari can control me at will and I will leave her indefinitely ...

I spend a strange day with Marie, it is rare to see Jeanne all day in the mansion but after a while I get used to her presence, even that of Omar who from time to time gives me smiles without caring about my reproachful look. boss. After lunch, Marie and I spent time playing with her stuffed animals and we laughed like two girls when I threw a stuffed animal at her and she shot me back, I follow her almost the whole house laughing and she does the same, at some point I feel someone looking at us and it's Jeanne with a huge smile watching us play, I'm instantly embarrassed but I keep chasing Marie around the house until after a few hours she falls asleep and I'm going to put her to bed in her room.

When I come down Omar has already left and I gather my things while Jeanne writes something on one of the sofas, I doubt if I should approach to say goodbye but I do it anyway and a smile escapes me when I notice Jeanne concentrated writing and with her lost gaze , how I wish I could get close and kiss her ...

-You're leaving now? -She asks me while I'm still gawking at her.

-Yes, I say nervous, see you tomorrow, Mrs. Jeanne.

"See you tomorrow Emma, forgive Omar's insistence on you, I promise that tomorrow I will not repeat," she says determinedly and I nod.

-Don't worry and thank you- I give her a smile and to my surprise Jeanne Nizzari smiles back at me, I stay a few seconds looking at her without being able to take my eyes off such a beautiful woman and only when she leaves my eyes can I be free from her spell. I'm leaving as fast as I can, shameful to be so insistent with my looks, and I go home with a strange smile on my face. Before I go to a supermarket and buy groceries for the week, for the first time I have money that will allow me to pay some bills and buy food, I even order a pizza at home and play loud music, it is a fun night for me in the middle of the loneliness of my room, I just want the next day to come ...

I spend a night sleeping all my hours and I wake up more energetic than ever, I look in my closet for something new to wear because I liked the looks of Jeanne on my body all day yesterday, I find a skirt that miraculously fits me alone It is somewhat short, it is black and I complement it with a matching blouse plus my hair down again and my lips slightly painted in red. The trip to the mansion is uncomfortable for me again, this time more men are watching me and I feel small in front of them, fortunately I arrive at the mansion without incident and when I enter Omar receives me with a smile.

-Good morning Emma -he says looking at me from head to toe- you look very beautiful today ...

-Let her pass Omar-I hear Jeanne's voice behind him and he rolls his eyes, I enter at once and see Jeanne sitting with her back to me- Marie is still sleeping-she says turning around and this time it's Jeanne who doesn't take her gaze off me She seems absorbed in watching me and even Omar notices it, he does not take his gaze from my body or my face, I want him to swallow the earth and at the same time not, what are you doing with me Jeanne Nizzari ...

-Emma -she says speaking again- Would you be so kind to help me organize these papers? I know it's not your job but I'm asking you since I really need help ...- she gets up while I nod and makes me follow her to the second floor, where her office is located.

-Omar doesn't help you? I ask as I sit in front of his desk.

-No, I'd rather have him stay down than look at you all the time like a fool-he says seriously and I start to shake-we'll start with these phone numbers, I need you to organize them from the az Can you? -He watches me carefully and I nod, I can never refuse anything that woman asks of me ...

After about fifteen minutes I almost finished but some names get mixed up and I get confused, I think my face expresses a lot because Jeanne, who at that time was next to the desk, approaches me to ask what is wrong. I try to explain to her but I am so nervous with her that my words get tangled up, Jeanne smiles and helps me finish the organization, it seems convenient to be only centimeters away because she takes her time to teach me, she even has the nerve to brush her hands with my legs and I just want to disappear.

-Thank you very much Emma, I think I should give you a raise -he says jokingly and I deny.

-Well ma'am, I'll go get Marie ...

-Of course, see you downstairs, I want to share some time with you ..- I was surprised but I nod and go to look for Marie, I bathe her and seen, I go down with her to the living room and there is Jeanne waiting for us with a smile. We play with Marie and she laughs with us, I like that loving and maternal side that Jeanne has with the children, she seems different and I stare at her again more than necessary. I am surprised by his eyes and in a moment we are both sitting on the sofa at a zero distance, I feel faint when one of Jeanne's hands brushes mine and I think she does it by mistake, but after a few seconds her touch He comes back and I know he does it because he wants to.

The opinion without understanding but she ignores my gaze and is still watching Marie, I let it go and ends a pleasant day that she never managed to even imagine happening. This is how the whole week goes by where Jeanne at least takes an hour to share with Marie and me, sometimes we talk but only what is necessary and I like that, she never stops looking at me and I do the same, I like to be the target of his eyes.

On Friday I arrive with a huge smile on my face and I enter the mansion, there is no one in the living room and I am surprised not to find Jeanne there, I walk up the stairs and find her with her, with the brown woman of the other day kissing with passion and destroying every piece of my heart. Jeanne notices my presence and walks away from the woman too quickly, as if she's been caught and expecting a reprimand. I pass them with a nod in greeting and walk into Marie's room furiously. She continues to sleep and I curse inside, I leave the room determined to wait for her in the corridor and thus not see the scene again for a few minutes, a few steps go up and I put myself on guard but that is only Jeanne who seems to be looking for something, when her eyes they give with mine a smile forms on his face but I ignore it when he approaches.

-Marie hasn't woken up yet -she says crossing her arms and leaning against the wall imitating my position- if you want we can have a coffee downstairs in the meantime ...

-No, thanks-I say curtly and Jeanne raises her eyebrow-I prefer to wait for Marie to wake up-I say a silly excuse but Jeanne nods seriously and walks giving me to the back, but at the last moment she stops and walks to my position with determination.

-You know what? No, I refuse to let you be this way, I know why you are like this and believe me that you have no right to behave like this, not when I only think about ...- she cuts at the last minute leaving me stunned- forget it ..

This time it is leaving me with my heart racing. Was he going to tell me that he thought of me? Oh Jeanne, what are you doing with me ...