Trying To Let Go

Louisa

I sat down at the bar moping, not seeing anything in particular. I had taken Miriam, and Laurel out so we could have fun, but I was having anything but fun.

"Come on Louisa, why is your face wearing fifty shoulder pad this night?" Miriam asked me as she kept looking at my face, as if trying to find out what was wrong with me.

"I'm fine, nothing is wrong" I replied, brushing off her concerned look.

"Are you sure? Because you look like you just swallowed a frog" Laurel added as she moved her body to the song that was being played at the bar, she winked at a guy who has been looking at her since we walked in.

"I think you should walk up to that guy, he has had his eyes on you, ever since we walked in"

I said to Laurel who was already on her feet before I was even done talking.

"Are you sure you will be okay?" She looked at me with concern written all over her face.

"Laurel just go, we both know you want to" Miriam shoved her off.

"I love you girls" she blew us a kiss, before sashaying her ass over to where the guy was sitting.

"What is happening to you, Lou? You don't seem yourself, did your mom say anything to put you in this mode, or something?"

"No, it's not my mother"

Though that woman has done nothing, but get on my nerves ever since she came to visit, but my unhappiness tonight, has nothing to do with her.

"Then what is it?"

"I saw Adams and his wife today, alongside their newborn baby, at the mall"

I had just closed from work, and decided to stop by at the shopping mall, to get some toiletries, when I saw him walking into the mall, with their baby in a stroller, while his wife walked beside him. They looked like the perfect couple.

I hid behind a shelve, to avoid them from seeing me. I kept looking at them wondering what he saw in that woman that made him leave me for her. If it was about beauty, I'm definitely more beautiful than she is, so why would Adams think of cheating on me, with her in the first place? Why would he choose to marry her and not me?

That was supposed to be us, walking into the mall with our baby, I'm supposed to be the one beside him, and not her.

It took the pride I had, to prevent me from going there to ask him why he would choose to break my heart the way he did. I quickly paid for the items I had bought, even though I wasn't done shopping, and I hurriedly left the mall before I did something stupid.

"Oh Louisa dear, I'm so sorry" Miriam said.

"Most times, I think I have totally forgotten about him, and then the moment I see him, it's as if; a fresh wound is being opened up with a knife"

"I can't imagine what you are going through dear. I'm sorry you had to see all of that"

"But, am I not beautiful enough Miriam? Why would he choose to dump me the way he did?"

"Because he is an ass hole, that's why. You should be grateful to God, that you didn't end up with him, he would have caused you more heartache in marriage, than he did when you both were dating. The fact that you saw them looking so happy together at the mall, doesn't mean they are actually happy"

I knew Miriam was right, but yet I still couldn't get myself to stop thinking that he cheated on me with her, and then still chose to marry her because she was pregnant. As if she was the first woman to get pregnant.

"Louisa I need you to cheer up, you can't continue looking gloomy because of that loser, that calls himself Adams"

Miriam asked for a refill of our drinks from the bartender, and pushed a glass my way. We both downed our drinks in seconds, and asked for a another refill.

After a few more drinks with Miriam, I decided to call it a night. After my last episode of drunkeness, I have been avoiding getting drunk again, and besides, my mother was still at my place, and I couldn't afford to get home drunk. She would have my head on a platter, if she as much as, perceive alcohol on my breath. Not like I'm still a baby, or something, but it's just the way she is. I guess that's how an average African mother is.

I decided to let Laurel know I was leaving, since I was the one who drove her to the club.

"Are you leaving so soon?" She asked as I got to her table.

"Yeah, you know my mom is still around, the last thing I want, is her scolding me for coming home late"

"Yeah, you have a point"

"Aren't you ready to leave?" I knew that was a stupid question to ask, as her new friend, had his hand on her shoulders, and they both don't seem like they were going to be leaving each other, anytime soon.

"Nope, I will just take an Uber home"

"Or, I could drop you off" Her companion smiled at her.

"All right, since your commution has been sorted out, I will get going then" I said goodbye to them, and left the club.

Miriam who wasn't ready to leave either, was still at the bar having more drinks, I guess you can say, I have alcoholics, as friends.

When I got to my apartment, it was already 12am, so I slowly opened the door, and tipped toed into the house. When I got to the stairs, I took off my shoes to avoid making any sound.

It's funny how, I get to tip toe around my own house like a thief, but then this is Nigeria. I didn't want my mother waking up to find out I was just coming back, she was in the bathroom when I left, so she didn't get to see the way I was dressed, else she would have made a fuss about it, and she would have reminded me of how I need to dress more conservatively if I wanted to get a husband.

I was already at the door of my room, trying to open it, when I heard my mother coming out the guest  room.

"Coco where are you coming from by this time?"