Speaking Up

"Louisa what did you just say?"

The look on my mother's face was that of shock, mixed with anger, she couldn't believe I could say something like that to her. And neither did I, but I needed to. I'm tired her making me feel like my life was a terrible mess, when hers wasn't any better, it's in total chaos if you ask me.

Nobody has it all figured out, most times I think our parents need to give us a breathing space, and allow us to make our own mistakes, no need trying to make me feel worthless, or less fulfiled, simply because you feel my life is not going in the direction you want, or you feel it should. It's called my life for a reason. And as from now on, I'm not going to allow anyone tell me what to do with my life, not even my mother.

"Louisa! My mother screamed out my name breaking me from my reverie.

"How dare you say that to me? Your father leaving me for that whore, was never my fault and you know it" her nostrils flared in anger, as she spoke.

"Same way Adams leaving me for another woman, was never my fault"

My eyes were already watering as I spoke, I don't know why but I really felt hurt that my mother would say something like that to me.

"We brokeup because he got another girl while we were still dating, he cheated on me mummy. And you trying to make it my fault isn't being fair on me either"

I quickly wiped my eyes, picked up her bags from the floor, and started walking down the stairs.

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I looked up to find my mother still at the top of the stairs staring at me.

I couldn't tell what the exact look on her face was, if she was looking sorry, or angry at me for using my father leaving her for another woman against her. I really don't care what she feels, at least now she knows how it feels to be insulted with something you would rather not talk about.

Sometimes, it's good we are served a portion of what we dish out.

I opened the living room door, took her bags to the car, and put them in the trunk.

I waited in my car for my mother, for good five minutes, and when she wasn't forth coming, I decided to go back inside and see if she has changed her mind about traveling back today.

I was shocked to find her sitted on the couch in the living room, leisurely flipping through the pages of a newspaper. I was waiting for her in the car, and here she is ready a newspaper? If she wanted to read an information inside it so badly, why didn't she just bring it with her to the car instead of sitting here to read it, and keeping me waiting?

I decided to take a few deep breaths, before opening my mouth, because that was the only way to calm my nerves, and prevent myself from saying something hurtful.

"mummy why are you still here, don't you want to travel back to Delta again?" I silently prayed the answer to that question is not a yes.

"Yes, I changed my mind" she didn't even look from the newspaper, I'm very sure whatever it was she was reading in that paper, must be 1000 ways on how to frustrate Louisa, because this woman was definitely getting on my nerves.

'Why wake me up early this morning, disturbing my beautiful sleep, only to change your mind, and when you changed your mind, the least you have done is tell me, and not sit here reading some stupid newspaper!'

Well I only said these things in my head, voicing them out would only lead to us having another round of fight, which I didn't want. So I just calmly said;

"mummy you should have told me, I wouldn't have been waiting for you in the car"

"I said I changed my mind, do you want to beat me?" She challenged, finally raising her head to look at me. "besides, I wasn't the one that asked you to go and sit in the car waiting for me"

I silently cursed under my breath, as I went back to the car to get her things.

Later that day, I decided to go to the mall to buy my body cream, I was supposed to have bought it yesterday before Adams walked in with his wife, and I totally forgot what I had come to buy in the first place.

After getting my cream, I decided to get myself some ice cream, I wasn't surprised to find a little girl standing in front of the transparent freezer containing the ice creams, staring at it. Children love ice cream, it's only normal she was admiring the different flavors, and probably wishing to have all of them.

But I was surprised to hear her sniff, when I opened one of the freezers and took out a chocolate flavoured one. I turned to look at her face, that was when I noticed she was crying.

I have never been a fan of little children, especially the ones around the ages of 3 and 7, I feel they ask too many questions, and they actually creep me out, because I really don't know how to behave around them. But something about this little girl made my insides hurt at the sight of her crying.

I looked around, surely her mom, or maybe a guardian should be around, but there was no one paying her any attention, just shoppers who were about their shopping.

I went closer to her, and stooped down.

"Hey little girl what is the matter, why are you crying?" I tried my best to sound calm, even though I sounded anything but calm.

"My.... daddy..." She said in-between sobs, her chest heaving as she cried.

"Where is he?"

She shook her head, "I.. don't know...." And started crying again, this time louder, making other shoppers stare at us as they rolled their carts past us.

Immediately I became panicky, and begged the little girl to stop crying before someone thinks I kidnapped her. Or maybe I should just turn, and walk away pretending I never saw her? I was still thinking of what to do, when she started crying again.

"I want my daddy" she cried out.

"Where did you say he went to?" I asked again, hoping she didn't understand the first one I asked her earlier.

"I don't know" this time she didn't cry, but wailed so loudly, I almost went deaf.

Louisa what have you gotten yourself into? How was I supposed to help find her father if she doesn't know where he was, or went to?

"Oh stop crying, we are going to find your daddy okay?" I said more to myself, than the little girl.

She nodded with so much hope in her eyes.

"What is your name?"

"Ruby"