unedited***

When I got home I kicked off my shoes, pulled off my wig and coiled up on my couch, regretting why I talked to Aminu the way I did.

I knew what I did by walking out on Aminu was wrong, and I shouldn't have reacted to what he said the way I did. Sometimes I just allow my temper to get the better part of me and then I end up making stupid decisions.

I don't know why I flipped out on him like that, probably because I just realized what my life has been reduced to.

Until this morning, I didn't realize how far I have drifted away from God.

I can't even remember the last time I went to church or even prayed, these days I only remember to pray when I'm in trouble and after that I forget about anything that concerns God. It is as if I just kept him at the back of a pocket Jean, and I only remember to reach for him when I'm in dire need of his help. And this can't be too far from the truth.