Paralyzed! walk again! Those inconceivable words playing over and over in my head. I must be delusional! That has got to be it! The pain killers must be making my mind foggy.
How did this even happen? One minute I am having drinks and dancing with Emma and the next I am here. I have no recollection of the events that took place after Mark dragged me out of the pub. None of this seems real. Like I woke up in the middle of a surreal dream.
All I see above me while I lie here is a white ceiling and when I turn my head slightly, I can see light gray walls. Emma is gently rubbing up and down my arm with her hand and she is whispering, "It's ok baby, everything will be ok", I am not sure I believe her as tears are rapidly flowing down her face.
My mum is sitting by my other side and looks like she has been crying nonstop for hours. I can feel Emma lightly stroking my arm, but I cannot seem to reach for her, my arms feel heavy, so heavy that I cannot move them even though I want to. I look down and see my legs covered by a blanket. I try to wiggle my toes from underneath the covers, but I can't, they do not even feel like they are connected to my body.
This is scary shit! My heart is uncontrollably beating out of my chest now, and my rapid breathing is starting to intensify even more. I can't even focus on anything that is going on around me. Someone please help me! But the words do not leave my mouth.
Emma continues nervously stroking my arm and I cannot take it anymore.
"Stop touching me" I blurt out.
Instantly, the expression on Emma's face turns to shock and she instinctively steps away from me, her eyes filled with even more pity than before.
"Everyone just please stop touching me! and stop crying! you're not the ones lying in this bed", I am practically hyperventilating now.
This is not happening! this is just a terrible hallucination I try to convince myself.
Just then, I am startled by the feeling of my right arm being lifted from the bed. I can feel some pressure up towards my armpit, the pressure then shifts to my elbow down to my fingers. I look over towards my arm and find someone massaging my hand and fingers with hers, then back up towards my shoulder, massaging certain spots and back down my arm again, ending at my fingers. I did not even notice her enter the room just as I was about to flip my shit. But here she is, this strange and beautiful girl, gently yet firmly massaging my arm, and without realizing it, my breathing begins to slow.
"Look at me" her angelic voice says.
With hesitation I try and focus my gaze on her.
"My name is Charlotte Thomas, but everyone around here calls me Charlie", she says to me, and I find myself staring at her with nothing but confusion.
She is looks to be around my age and she is very pretty. Her hazel eyes are studying me, it is not a look of pity for me when she looks into my eyes, it is more of a hopeful and determined look. The way she looks at me is much more calming to me than the way my parents and Emma have been looking at me.
This situation is mysterious and strange, almost resembling an eerie sensation of only her and I alone in this unfamiliar room as everyone else around me has become ghostly silent.
"What are you doing to my arm" I ask her, still trying to determine is she is a figment of my imagination.
"I know you can feel this, now I want to show you that you can move your arm and fingers". She encourages me.
The only thing I can do is shake my head at her. I can feel the image of disbelief forming across my face and I am positive she can see it.
"I want you to only focus on your hand and fingers and nothing else" she calmly says while I nod my head.
"Now squeeze my hand" she instructs.
"I can't" I mumble back.
She gives me the most encouraging smile and says, "yes you can Levi, try one more time, focus...Good!" she says, and at that moment I hear everyone in the room gasp.
"What the hell?", my voice more demanding now.
This feels like an episode straight out of the twilight zone. Who is this girl and what did she just do to me? She popped into my room out of nowhere, distracting me from my fit of rage, and performed some special magic. She is so calm, and she seems to be making me calm as well.
Emma rushes over to my side again and grabs my hand. I give it a little squeeze with mine and she smiles. My mum is crying again but I think they are happy tears now, who knows, this is all so fucked up.
The beautiful calm girl who's name is now forever engraved in my mind, starts speaking again.
"Levi, your family has brought you here to my rehabilitation center because it is the only kind in the world like it, and my program is meant to help you learn how to walk again".
She must see the bewildered look on my face because she continues to explain what happened to me.
"You were hit by a car and the impact broke your back in two places. The lower break caused bruising on your spinal cord which is why you cannot move your legs right now".
My breathing is starting to pick up again as she attempts to make sense of all this. I look around the room and see my dad sitting in a chair with his hands on his lap listening to the girl. My mum of course is still crying, and Mark is pacing back and forth in the opposite corner of the room. Emma is still holding my hand and looking at me with the saddest look in her eyes, like someone just died. I wish I really had died. I can't breathe again; this is too much.
"If you'll allow, I'd like to talk with you alone Levi, so I can explain more, and so I can get a sense of how you feel about my program here", Charlotte asks me.
I nod my head in agreement and she instructs everyone else in the room to follow her assistant to the lounge so they can get some coffee and food.
Charlotte notices the anxiety spilling over my face and the angry scowl on Emma's face after her request.
"I need to access how much feeling and movement Levi has, and I need him to fully understand and agree to this therapy, without any influencing factors", Charlotte directs right at Emma.
Emma crosses her arms like a spiled little girl. She hates being told what to do.
"It will take about an hour, try to enjoy some fresh coffee and snacks in the lounge, or you are welcome to take a walk along the gardens", she says.
Emma reluctantly nods and whispers to me "I will be back soon babe".
The room is now silent, I don't hear anyone sobbing which is a relief. Charlotte pulls up a chair next to my bed and uses the bed controller to slowly sit me up.
"Let me know if I am hurting you Levi"
She brings the back of the bed just enough so that I am eye level with her.
" I thought we could just talk face to face, instead of me looking down at you", she says to me with her gentle voice.
Even though my whole body feels like it is shaking inside from anxiety, this girl seems to know how to make everything a little calmer.