Regret {7}

Skye swore to herself as she bumped into numerous people down the pavement. She had locked eyes with Lev for too long. For too dam long.

Her heartbeat was furiously struggling to maintain her pace and to keep her emotions steady. She had to be careful... but her wreck-less self couldn't help the temptation of looking his way.

Her face stung at the cold over her sensitive eyes, constantly replaying the scene in her head.

She reminded herself. 'Anything familiar- a face, a voice, an emotional connection- touch.. can lead to the memory being re-connected to its path.'

She swore vulgarly again, some people snapping their judging gaze to her when she did. Skye's lip was trembling, biting down on it to try and think straight.

All she had to do was stay away from Lev, maintain a distance... yet keep watch over him.

She almost laughed at her obscene situation.

Just like she used to. Watched from afar, helped when needed to and never interfered. This time, without the help of concealment or flight.

Her watch would turn back to silence, and she would have to trust her guts.

But before, it was so much easier... no attachment or feelings that would slam her cognitive ability to dust whenever he got close; no need to tend to her basic human needs.. generally, before there was less emotional baggage.

But now, she had fed that attachment to him and it was costing her exponentially. She was her own unmaking...

Distracting her mind from a situation that was always hopeless she thought back to her friends who she had left speechless in the café; she didn't buy her lunch for this afternoon.

She internally facepalmed. Skye didn't have the money anyway.

With the campus grounds coming into view, she slowed her pace, brushing the hair out from her eye and eventually coming to a stop.

Even when it was the start of a new term in January, she couldn't see many people roaming- probably occupied with other matters she had no interest in. No one heeded her any attention, not even sparing a glance out of peek curiosity.

That reminded her... the essay.

She visibly groaned, massaging her freezing forehead in her palm; just enough time for Damon and Chongan to come running up behind.

Their panting could be heard down the street as they held themselves on their knees, attempting to speak. "How do you run that fast?" Damon wheezed.

"I've never been athletic but I'm certainly better than average" He squeezed out with a struggle.

Chongan laughed at him, instantly regretting it when another cough silenced him.

The icy temperatures didn't help; making each inhale sharp down the dry throat.

"Oh, by the way..." Chongan started, finally standing straight and gulping loudly. "We got you your lunch, we noticed you didn't come with any"

Skye couldn't help the sincere smile as he pulled his bag to the front of his chest, and using one knee to balance, dived into it; pulling a neatly wrapped brown paper bag that contained a cheese and tomato panini.

"Careful, it's still hot" he warned while handing her the food. Skye took it with a grin, nodding thankfully.

"Thanks guys, means a lot" she giggled, sniffing quietly.

It was true. She hadn't had breakfast either, and just the fact that this thought crossed their minds when she had only known them for a day made her heart swell with happiness.

"Um..." Damon asked, slowly gaining back the attention from the piping hot food. "Are you sure your ok? It's not normal to get so worked up over something."

"Yea, whatever happened with that women..." he held his breath. "You can tell us"

Skye smiled sweetly, stepping closer to the pair and with as much strength as she could conjure, she replied. "Nothing happened, just a misunderstanding is all"

Convincing... Well, she hoped it was and with the look on the boy's face's however, Skye would've called that successful enough to drop it, at least for now.

"So, about that essay" she poked at them. "I am in dire need of help"

Chongan smiled, the three gradually moving from the upset and walking side by side into the main building chatting away on how Skye was most likely to fail.

...But one had something on their mind that could not be removed so easily.

Lev... he had been silent the entire walk back- leaving shortly after the boys.

Jax was frustrated at the silence, not really one for solitude or quietness.

He aggressively kicked a pebble down the pavement, huffing as he did.

"Why are you so quiet?" Jax interrogated, pulling Lev to a stop, finally breaking the air with some sort of chatter; he couldn't go for much longer like this.

His look was disconcerting. "This is unlike you Lev, why are you acting so closed off all of a sudden?"

He sighed. He really didn't know why. Perhaps his mind was too busy unravelling a new thought that he had no energy to spare with speaking.

"I'm all good Jax, just thinking"

"About what?" He shifted his footing, crossing his arms subtly.

"It's nothing, really"

Jax raised an eyebrow, a clear sign as to say. 'Can't fool the fool.'

"I'm not going to get away with this am I?" Lev grinned. Jax answered in a heartbeat. "Dam right"

Lev laughed, the lightheartedness easing into him. Jax was always good at that. Call him a jester if you will but that was one thing he was renowned for- kind humour. Witty at times, when the situation called for it, but most of the time, he'd put the feelings of those close to him first- no matter the consequences.

Lev wanted to speak his mind, tell him that he felt a strange feeling connected to Skye... even if he didn't know when, how, or... if it he knew her from somewhere- heck, if it even was her; a lookalike being an alternative possibility.

He sighed in frustration, eyes dropping to his hands. He already missed the warmth of his drink.

"Something personal just came up, nothing big- I've just been distracted"

Jax's nose scrunched at the lie. If Lev was unwilling, then he would not press further. "Gotcha" he mumbled. It came across harsher than intended.

And Lev heard the undertone... he bit his lip. "Jax, I promise I will tell you, just when it actually begins to make sense"

That made Jax even more concerned now. He cared deeply for his friend, almost as close as distant brothers. "It's fine Lev, no hard feelings, we all have secrets"

Even if they were unsettling to say the least.

There was a sudden tenseness in the air that was very much uncalled for.

Jax whispered. "It was just... well... it was sudden... you know" he paused. "And when you're ready, I'll be ready to listen"

He smiled. "I just didn't realise such a huge thing could just appear out of the blue like that" Jax laughed, pushing away the negative thoughts. "Even if I don't know what they are"

Lev couldn't help the chuckle that followed, smiling a toothy grin broadly. "Got it. Thanks Jax"

Jax breathed, satisfied at the answer. "Ahh what would you do without me Lev?"

Lev's eyes widened in a sarcastic manor. "Probably working" he joked, taking the light pat from Jax in his stride.

"Whatever, let's head back" he checked his phone, the screen a bright light with the time. "We should have enough time to get back and get settled before the lecture starts"

Lev nodded his head in agreement, his emotions steadying. "Good, because there is someone I need to speak with"