Chapter 58

Her dark irises showed no signs of the usual glow they held. Nathan knew she was possibly going to break down soon. The thought of more tears from her eyes made his heart clench uneasily in his chest. If only she could forget about that low born... He'd make her so much happy!

"Please, just leave me alone."

Carina's quivering voice had Nathan ducking his head, making room for her to leave in silence.

She silently appreciated it and took fast steps to approach her door. Nathan's hands fisted in his pockets as he calmed the urge to hold the girl to his chest and soothe her in every way possible. Perhaps what he felt towards her was stronger than his knowledge.

Fortunately the walk to her door was uninterrupted. Carina shut the door with little force, her body starting to ache from nothing. She felt tired and cold and lonely. Possibly the worst feeling on the earth.

She felt guilt climb up her nerves as she washed her face, observing her reflection. There she was, eyes red from crying, pining over a man she knew wasn't hers, could never be hers.

How could she be so naive? She felt like the world was crashing down on her just because Thomas showed more concern to his wife than he showed to her. What was she to him? A mere friend. An old reminder of his past self.

But the past was dead.

He was happily married to a wonderful woman, far better than her, on their way to have a beautiful child.

She was a widow at the age of 19 who still clinged to her first love like a fool.

Carina despised herself.

She had to leave soon, she reminded herself. If she stayed here, she would cause more troubles for Thomas.

And honestly, she couldn't bear to witness the love of her life holding his child with his wife in utter bliss.

Dark thoughts clouded her mind.

Was she really not lovable? Did she really not deserve happiness?

What was the whole point of her life?

It had all been meaningless. She had done absolutely nothing with her life. People would forget her faster than men forgot their anniversaries.

Is this who Carina Howards was going to be? A simple nobody?

Humiliation filled her as Carina gripped the sink with harsh force. She scoffed at her weak demeanor. She was Carina, the strongest soul with ignited determination.

This wasn't what her father would expect of her. She needed to make him proud. Thomas had achieved his dream. Why couldn't she?

Carina exhaled harshly through her nose as a newfound glow enlightened her eyes.

She wasn't going to back down.

Carina was going to rule.