17 - Unsteady

[Hercules' POV]

He hasn't called. Texted. FaceTimed. He said he would. He hasn't. I swear, what is wrong? Shit. He's moving on with life. That's meant to be good… right? I don't know what to do anymore. He was my rock, and now I'm mush. A mushy lump of mush.

Laf :)

Herc - Where are you? What are you doing? Tell me!!

Laf - How about you check out the time difference? 🥱

Um… What. Was. That?! Well, I suppose he's right. I pull out the time converter off the web. It's 10pm here, so that means… It's 4am in Paris?! Why is he even awake? I better try this again.

Herc - Sorry. Why are you even awake?

Laf - You.

Herc - Did you want to text me so badly that---

That last sentence isn't even sent, just being written. I delete it all, because I bet he's coming up with some heartwarming response.

Laf - Disturbed me. You woke me up. I slept like a baby till now. Time. Difference.

Ouch! That's cold. Well, he's moved on for sure then, because when he was my roommate here, he'd laugh the sleep off, he'd stay up till his eyes grew red with insomnia, then dozing off at noon till God knows what hour. That was on the weekends anyway... I'm not sure I know anymore.

[Laf's POV]

I'm sorry, mate. Not. Now. I was in a zone until that happened, but I guess he's missing me too. Good to know. That zone was a good place for me, so I picture it inside my rattled head, and I lull myself back into it. There. Done.

"You're so amazing, Laf!" She giggles with euphoria. I'm so glad she has me, and no one else.

"Well, that's just who I am." I respond with that jazz tone. She's writing some things down as we stroll through the Parisian streets. I suppose they are personal, but… I release a breath. I can't help it. Secrets are the best thing to destroy my soul.

"What are you writing?" I ask her. We come to a halt as she clutches the book closer to her chest and she adjusts her glasses, moving them closer to her eyes.

"It's kinda personal…" Her voice trails off and her breath is shaky. I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that! I've scared her now.

"Sorry." I say.

"It's fine."

We keep walking.

She doesn't tell me where she's leading me. She knows the streets better than I do, turning this way and that with complete elegance. Eventually we end up at a quiet apartment block, white and minimalistic, balcony and a black balustrade draped with light green vines. I suspect it's hers. She leads me through the front door, traversing up several flights of stairs. Her fingers are lingering near mine.

"It's my family." She says after a while of searching for them, timid and short. There's a small, brown haired boy, two taller, gossiping girls and doubly busy parents. They don't even notice her. I feel horrible, watching her cough to try to gain attention to no avail, waving her hands sporadically, spinning on the spot even, making sure her shoes click against the flooring. I nod my head in silence.

"Let's head to your room…" I whisper in her ear, and she grasps my hand so tight I almost gasp in pain. We sit and talk for a while, and she becomes content as I sit by her. She ends up telling me of her book, distracting herself away from any thought of her idiotic family and writing down mixtures of fantasy and reality.

"Am I in it?" I ask Chloe, her eyes growing wide and teary, flicking through with care, but probably nostalgia.

"Yes." She knows the paper like the back of her hand, and all the light seeps through again.

Damnit! I'm up. My eyes aren't frightened by any light, more just by the fact I couldn't see what was inside. What was inside her precious journal. She was literally about to show me! She was ready for it, and so was I! Maybe it'll be that perfect in reality, but…

My phone's ringing.

It's doing more than that. It's beeping, chiming, stirring, notifying, bouncing up and down. I'm absolutely gobsmacked. I haven't had this much attention since… I dunno… My other temporary leave?! Well, I can't tell whether their clinginess is genuine or not, rather that their minds are brewing with boredom. Anyway, I pick it up. It's FaceTime. Honestly, I know I said it would be fine, but I take that back. Blergh. But they are my friends! Ah. The choices. Well, choice made.

"Hi guys!" I speak into the microphone, camera off.

"No need to reveal yet…" I tell myself.

The next few minutes are continuous blabbers of incoherence. I hear high and low pitches, bright and dull tones. They turn the camera on. It's Alex, and John, and Angie, and Lizi, and Peggy, and Herc. Even Thomas has squashed ungratefully, I'm sure, in the back. Now I feel ashamed it's a block of monotones on their end.

"Give it a minute!" My mind ticks. Erm. Not anymore. They see my sluggish face and conflicted mind. Instantly.

Alex speaks up, "What are you doing?! You look so…" They all share a glance.

"I know. I'm tired…" I respond. I think of her, and, well, now I'm smiling giddily. Damn.

"Ooooooh!" Peggy smirks, "What's got you smiling all of a sudden?" They all turn to Peggy with sharp looks but then realise she's right. That she's a literal metal detector for anyone in love. She can point it out immediately, and then come up with the ships. I don't know how she does it, but… She does.

I let out a laugh. A horribly hysterical laugh. I think it's just the mere fact that I'm in love setting everything else alight. I do myself a favour and turn off that blasted camera.

"Aw…" John groans, and Alex rubs his shoulder.

"To answer your question, metal detector, yes. I found someone…"

"Oh. My. God!" She squeals, "Tell me everything!" The other Schuylers smile and clap and Alex and John look at each other and smile. "Who's it gonna be? How's it gonna affect our lives?" They're probably thinking. And Herc, well… Herc finally has that revelation which causes him to spin on edge.

"Give me the goddamn phone!" Herc yells, rage coursing through every fibre of his body. Alex hands it over in a slow reluctance causing him to snatch it, almost making it drop. If the screen did in fact break, and me knowing him so well, he wouldn't care. He'd feel it later though, but at the moment, he's in the now, and that now is setting hell loose.

I turn on the camera so he knows I'm there. So he can say it to my petty, going to be shamed face. I inhale and exhale with caution. I'm ready.

"Ok. Laf." He begins, "Who is this girl?" He is rather placid.

"Well…" I start, skin shuddering like the bundle of nervous nerves I am, "Her name is Chloe, she's got lovely blonde hair and--"

"Get her the hell out of your life!" He screams. Offcuts of Angelica, Eliza and Thomas are in the background, eyes wide with worry. I focus back on my fuming friend here because his eyes are unapologetic, and who knows what'll happen if I cross a line?

"I'm sorry, Herc, if she's causing you any trouble, but you haven't even heard of her, seen her, done anything with her! You can't dump the blame on someone you've never met, and you can't stop me from doing what I can. Finding someone to make my life that tiny touch better? Just let me have freedom!" I scream back, "I left that stupid America to find some, so let me have it for a couple of weeks!" I feel like I've just drunk alcohol, as if my eyes have been bloodshot with the power of it. My face is horrible and sweaty, but it's dialling itself down into slow, heavy breathing. "I'm sorry for yelling at you…" I apologise shortly after, "It's unlike me."

"Well…" He sighs. Is he going to apologise? Please, Herc, apologise! "It's not like she's affected your text or anything…" He mumbles.

"Herc, I'm a peacemaker, not a peacebreaker. It was actually 4am in the morning when you texted and I'd barely gotten a wink of sleep! Can we just stop shouting and recognise it? It won't be so bad. I'm only here for… another two weeks! That'll be enough for me to see my family, do some sightseeing…"

"Hook up with that Chloe girl…" He eye rolls, tossing his head to the side.

"Give it a break! She's not bad at all! Look, find someone down there to attach your life to, and everything will be better..." I sigh. I want to log off, but I don't. I just… stay there and breathe. He'll understand soon enough.

[Herc's POV]

"Give it a break! She's not bad at all! Look, find someone down there to attach your life to, and everything will be better..." He sighs, rubbing his eyes.

"I mean, I could find someone…" I mutter aloud, secretly wishing for advice. I mean, he's Laf, the advice king! "But who? No one on campus is taking my eye…"

"Look for an alternative. I believe in you." He chuckles and smiles goofily before logging off with a short beep. That's it for now.

"He believes in me!" My thoughts exclaim, "Then why am I so horrible to him? I dunno…"

I hand Alex his phone back. "How did it go?" He asks. "Is Laf alright?"

"Yeah. Told me to find a girl…" It just slipped. I'm so damn fragile!

"Well…" He doesn't know what to say. He's found his perfect man. "You'll find one." He thinks it over some more, rubbing his forehead. It's sweltering down here, so he walks over to a tree and crouches down in the refreshing shade. I'm still steady and tall, so he looks up at me. "Out of the people we know… Eliza and Peggy are up for the picking, so is Maria. Other than that, I think your options are limited, but like I said, you'll find someone!" He smiles with a bubbliness he had never given me. He's thought it over about those pills, and it's done him a world of good. He's had absolutely no craving, and John was always by his side. They were perfect.

"Thanks, Alex." I pat him on the shoulder, and he speeds ahead of me.

"I've got work to do!" He pants, racing towards the dormitories. I'm left alone, so I camp out under the tree in wait, playing Flappy Bird to entertain my easily entertained brain.

"I'll find someone…" I conceded inside. I had no energy to fight back now. I really couldn't, and all of a sudden the atmosphere took me to cloud nine.