bee_333

I stroke the white horse I am riding lovingly before getting off.
we are currently at the river, the one called flowing souls. Such an eerie name for a beautiful river.
I move towards the bank, where the hands of the water caress the soft bosom of the land.
I feel the water rush forward and stop just in front of me, kissing the tips of my shoes.
I close my eyes and think of nothing but happiness.
The first time I went hunting with him, my jayjay. The feel of his hands on my body, the fire in his eyes when they roam over my body, that lust, that desire.
The way he laughs, the way he adores me, that is happiness.
Just then, I catch a weak scent of blood in the air. It is appetizing, my stomach churns and makes loud noises, and my legs take off of their own will in search of food.
There's blood everywhere. I am covered in blood. A man lay in front of me pale as ash, his hands clutching his neck, eyes bulged out in terror.
But I feel no guilt, none at all.
My eyes widen In pleasure. JayJay wouldn't approve of it, but this is what we are.
His ideas are Noble, but you can't deny your nature and still be you.
Humans have never denied their nature. They give in to their pleasures and cravings all the time. Animals are slaughtered for their satisfaction, as food. How is that any different from what I have just done?
I lick my fingers, enjoying the scent of the drying blood on them, he was truly a delicacy.
This part of me is a part he will never see, never.


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 After what felt like an eternity, I began to feel it, the cold, but it was just my heart that felt it. The other parts of me became numb, I didn't feel anything or hear anything or see anything, just the cold in my heart and the darkness, the black sea.
I didn't go inside it, I sat at the bank of the sea and listened to the silence of the water. I knew the thoughts of the black sea, I could feel its consciousness, its desires and fears, it feared me, so I sat and watched. Then a lady with white flowing hair approached me, she had on a white wedding dress, she was beautiful. She stood at the mouth of the sea, where the water kissed the land and she beckoned to me, but I didn't see her, I only saw the silence and the black sea.
"you have to accept me in" she says with a cocky voice.
"why"
"why? I am the power, I am the beauty, I am the awakened, you are nothing without me"
"you're wrong" I say, standing up and turning my back to her. I walk a little distance then stop,
"you're nothing but a restless voice who needs me to exist" and I was gone with the wind, back to where I belonged, back to the arms of my loving boyfriend and his best friend.

The Awakening

I had no idea how long it has been since I left the house, but it was getting late, I had walked until my legs hurt, I couldn't stand and I wasn't exactly sure I still knew where I was.

I look around me again, it is deserted.

I am really thirsty, I use my jacket to clean off the sweat dripping down my face, in front of me is a little river, clear at the top, there are no birds no flowers, but it is calm.

I sit on one of the huge stones by the river bank, somehow it feels like this is were I've been headed, like it's been calling out to me.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, allowing my mouth to break into a smile on it's own will.

There are no worries here, no Micheal, no scary dream, just the river.

I open my eyes and let out a sigh, how can I possibly forget everything, things that haven't really seemed like an issue until now like the white haired version of me in my dreams, my eyes turning red, and the strange feeling of emptyness I feel.

I used to attribute the feeling to Micheals 'death' before, but now he is here, and so was the feeling.

The feeling of emptyness is not the worst I am feeling,it is the feeling that Micheal is not IT,the more I dream of the mystery man,the more I crave love,it was this same love I craved so much so that I got involved with Micheal despite the fact that he was seeing Annie, that was something that I would never do on a normal.

Given Annie wasn't always nice, I saw her as a sister,.

Now that same want of love is threatening to push me away from Micheal,I can feel it in the way I didn't spend all day gushing about his beauty, how his evasiveness didn't bother me as much as it used to and I hate it.

I want to love Micheal, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, loving him and worrying about him,what is happening to me?

Why does it feel like two different forces are fighting for dominance inside me, the white haired woman, she is fighting to gain control of my mind and body.

She does not just want to be a dream anymore, but I won't let that happen, I don't care if she is more than my subconscious, this is my life and I won't let her ruin it.

I let out another breath as I hear footsteps behind me, I turn around at once to face the direction of the sound and I see a very familiar face.

The face of the man I love with my whole life, a man I am scared of falling out of love with.

He stops a few feet from me, he has worry written clearly on his face.

'is he worried about me? ' I get up and run to him wrapping my hands around his neck.

I look into his beautiful blue eyes and smile widely, then as his face begin to brighten up with a smile I look down at his lips.

'he hasn't kissed me since he returned, even if he knew I really wanted to, but I am done waiting for him to make the move' .

I stand on my tip toe and tilt my head upwards leaning in to kiss him but he beat me to it as he places a hand on my waist and another at the back of my neck drawing me to him and smash his lips to mine longingly.

I moan into his mouth as my body gives in to this holy moment, no matter what it cost me, I wasn't going to let Micheal go, he is mine, I pull closer to him and open my mouth to give his tongue full access to me.

He is mine