The Awakening
I stroke the white horse I am riding lovingly before getting off.
we are currently at the river, the one called flowing souls. Such an eerie name for a beautiful river.
I move towards the bank, where the hands of the water caress the soft bosom of the land.
I feel the water rush forward and stop just in front of me, kissing the tips of my shoes.
I close my eyes and think of nothing but happiness.
The first time I went hunting with him, my jayjay. The feel of his hands on my body, the fire in his eyes when they roam over my body, that lust, that desire.
The way he laughs, the way he adores me, that is happiness.
Just then, I catch a weak scent of blood in the air. It is appetizing, my stomach churns and makes loud noises, and my legs take off of their own will in search of food.
There's blood everywhere. I am covered in blood. A man lay in front of me pale as ash, his hands clutching his neck, eyes bulged out in terror.
But I feel no guilt, none at all.
My eyes widen In pleasure. JayJay wouldn't approve of it, but this is what we are.
His ideas are Noble, but you can't deny your nature and still be you.
Humans have never denied their nature. They give in to their pleasures and cravings all the time. Animals are slaughtered for their satisfaction, as food. How is that any different from what I have just done?
I lick my fingers, enjoying the scent of the drying blood on them, he was truly a delicacy.
This part of me is a part he will never see, never.
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After what felt like an eternity, I began to feel it, the cold, but it was just my heart that felt it. The other parts of me became numb, I didn't feel anything or hear anything or see anything, just the cold in my heart and the darkness, the black sea.
I didn't go inside it, I sat at the bank of the sea and listened to the silence of the water. I knew the thoughts of the black sea, I could feel its consciousness, its desires and fears, it feared me, so I sat and watched. Then a lady with white flowing hair approached me, she had on a white wedding dress, she was beautiful. She stood at the mouth of the sea, where the water kissed the land and she beckoned to me, but I didn't see her, I only saw the silence and the black sea.
"you have to accept me in" she says with a cocky voice.
"why"
"why? I am the power, I am the beauty, I am the awakened, you are nothing without me"
"you're wrong" I say, standing up and turning my back to her. I walk a little distance then stop,
"you're nothing but a restless voice who needs me to exist" and I was gone with the wind, back to where I belonged, back to the arms of my loving boyfriend and his best friend.
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Great writing, interesting plot, mysterious vibe. What more do you want? The more you read, the more intriguing you become. Not to say, most of the chapters ending are full of cliffhanger, which makes you want to read more. I recommend this book to everyone. Just try it, you won't regret reading it.
The story starts with a mystery, and that dark and mysterious element carries on. Nice plot. Interesting story. I'm having trouble with reading big blocks of texts though. Breaking those big chunks down would be nice =) Keep up the good work!
It has a good story development and the pace is decent I guess but not quite sure, anyway. You should definitely use Grammarly or similar apps to fix grammatical issues.
Intriguing novel. The start got me hooked. I wish I had found this novel earlier. Kudos to the writer behind such an amazing novel :)) Keep being awesome, will read :>>
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What a heart-catching novel....it really caught my attention to read it more. Gotta say the author has splendidly elaborated the story. It was awesome and I can symphatize with the lead All in All, great work!
I love the connection bet ween Bell and Michel . I like how the story builds up . I love that this doesn't usually have the same plotline . Keep writing [img=recommend]
After reading it, I found myself very interested in the story! You have done such a good job so far! I am totally supporting this! Keep writing, and working hard! :) -Popsicle_Jellyfish
I'm not usually the type to read romance novels, but here I am, writing a review for one. This book was able to draw me in with it's interesting title. No complaints about writing quality, except for slight punctuation errors here and there in dialogue. That is just formatting though, so there's no need to worry about that. Story development is great, I was able to immerse myself in the world of this novel and really follow along with the plot nicely with its perfect pace. Character design is detailed and unique for each of the characters in this novel - something I can appreciate. The world background could use some work, but this novel isn't too focused on that, so this is something extremely minor. Overall, this was a great read so far, and I'm looking forward to more chapters. Keep it up, author-san!
Great first chapter. Can't say more about the characters though. The plot is promising and really intriguing. Hope the mystery doesn't end too quickly
hi dropping my review here :) I must say that you have interesting premise in this story. The characters seemed to have complex background. Keep up the good work!
Hello author! First of all, I want to praise you for the superb characters' portrayal, detailed body language, and emotional descriptions. It was nicely crafted, I applaud you for that. But I may have a slight issue with regards to your story pacing, just a bit. I think it's too fast, leaving some gaps in the story here and there. It's not a bad thing, I assure you, it's just that I got lost between parts. Like, in the initial chapter she said she's alone and then someone came in? Then these two people appeared, I think you provide an explanation on what's their relationship but it hasn't sunk into me yet since it's not highlighted too well. Like some important parts that answered the question "why are they in that situation?" is not elaborated well. She was treated badly at first, and it sounds like she hates him, and then in the next chapter, she actually likes him? Yeah, you got me lost on that part. But other than that, you're story was superbly great. You describe your characters so well, I can picture them out vividly. And it's an awesome thing. You did a great job with this story author! It's mind-blowingly cool! Keep up the good work!
The plot is filled with mysteries and I'm liking the bond that Mike and Bells share, it's cute and adorable. The plot definitely has potential and I wish the author will keep updating it. Good work author!
The plot is super interesting and I gotta admit i am intrigued. I like the characters and i am very curios about them not gonna lie. The story has a steady pace, easy enough for one to understand how good the story is! So overall, I love it!