bee_333

I stroke the white horse I am riding lovingly before getting off.
we are currently at the river, the one called flowing souls. Such an eerie name for a beautiful river.
I move towards the bank, where the hands of the water caress the soft bosom of the land.
I feel the water rush forward and stop just in front of me, kissing the tips of my shoes.
I close my eyes and think of nothing but happiness.
The first time I went hunting with him, my jayjay. The feel of his hands on my body, the fire in his eyes when they roam over my body, that lust, that desire.
The way he laughs, the way he adores me, that is happiness.
Just then, I catch a weak scent of blood in the air. It is appetizing, my stomach churns and makes loud noises, and my legs take off of their own will in search of food.
There's blood everywhere. I am covered in blood. A man lay in front of me pale as ash, his hands clutching his neck, eyes bulged out in terror.
But I feel no guilt, none at all.
My eyes widen In pleasure. JayJay wouldn't approve of it, but this is what we are.
His ideas are Noble, but you can't deny your nature and still be you.
Humans have never denied their nature. They give in to their pleasures and cravings all the time. Animals are slaughtered for their satisfaction, as food. How is that any different from what I have just done?
I lick my fingers, enjoying the scent of the drying blood on them, he was truly a delicacy.
This part of me is a part he will never see, never.


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 After what felt like an eternity, I began to feel it, the cold, but it was just my heart that felt it. The other parts of me became numb, I didn't feel anything or hear anything or see anything, just the cold in my heart and the darkness, the black sea.
I didn't go inside it, I sat at the bank of the sea and listened to the silence of the water. I knew the thoughts of the black sea, I could feel its consciousness, its desires and fears, it feared me, so I sat and watched. Then a lady with white flowing hair approached me, she had on a white wedding dress, she was beautiful. She stood at the mouth of the sea, where the water kissed the land and she beckoned to me, but I didn't see her, I only saw the silence and the black sea.
"you have to accept me in" she says with a cocky voice.
"why"
"why? I am the power, I am the beauty, I am the awakened, you are nothing without me"
"you're wrong" I say, standing up and turning my back to her. I walk a little distance then stop,
"you're nothing but a restless voice who needs me to exist" and I was gone with the wind, back to where I belonged, back to the arms of my loving boyfriend and his best friend.

The Awakening

I had promised to look over Mirabella while Micheal was out feeding and I was taking that responsibility more serious than normal. I down the glass of whiskey In my hand and shake my head to clear my thoughts, Mirabella isn't Cataline, even though a huge part of me wanted to find out the reason for the similarities, maybe even hoped that through some miracle they were one and the same person, the more logical part of me knew not to even think of her. This is Mike's girl, I know how much she means to him, how he suffered those three long months I didn't let him see her after his transformation, no matter how much I wanted to believe that the lady upstairs was Cataline, I couldn't, she was dead and that was it.

I hear a faint gasp and thud from the direction of her room and my thoughts scatter as I race upstairs, the door was shut, I stand at the door contemplating whether to go in or not, ' what if it was me being paranoid, what if nothing was wrong? ' I stay there for a few minutes waiting for her to scream or make some kind of sound but nothing, then I hear feet's shuffling, I hear her back hit the wall and that was all I needed, I pushed open the door with more force than was needed and I saw it, a thick black fog in the shape of a person, emitting that evil and stinky aura they were very well known for, 'Demon' I say under my breath, my face starting to heat up with my anger, I charge forward at it but a second late because it evaded me and disappeared out the window, I shut the open window and turn back to face Mirabella but a jolt of pain and guilt shoot through me as I see her blank and out of body expression, she has her hands gripping at her sides tightly, as if trying to stop her body from shaking, I move towards her quitely and wrap my hands around her, holding her to my body, she finally loosens her grip on her self and wrap her hands around me, I lower myself to the ground keeping her in place between my legs, I suddenly start to panic, 'what if something had happened to her while I was delaying outside her door, I was supposed to protect her and again I have failed to do so', I move her closer to myself and begin to rub my hands on her back,

Hundred years ago she was killed under my watch and today I have failed yet again, I despised myself, the self hatred I had managed to conceal all these years was resurfacing, it was my fault she died, I killed her, my eyes begin to glaze over with moisture, Mirabella moves against my chest and mumbles " I love you" she says it so lightly even with my vampire hearing I doubt I heard right, or she has me mistaken for Micheal,I sigh out at this realization,what was I even thinking,I look at her face and she has a small smile plastered on her face.

I freeze on the spot as my hands subconsciously thighten around her,only one person ever used that nickname on me,it was her own term of endearment and she was always proud of herself for being able to con a name for me,she never let anyone else use it,after she passed the name also died.

My mind was in a hundred different places,I could feel all my previous resolutions crumbling," Cataline" I whisper against her hair, kissing her on the top of her head.

I sit there with her for another hour unable to move,and unwilling to separate from this woman I loved with the whole of my existence,she was her and yet she wasn't.

I stand up gently carrying her in bridal style to her bed,she unwraps her hands from me and clutch her pillow with both hands,after I arrange a blanket on her,I leave the room closing the door behind me.

I lean on the other side of the door with my eyes closed and swear under my breath,' it didn't matter what or who she was now,I didn't care what her name was,but I wouldn't let her get hurt again,never'.

Lost and found