We walked back to camp that evening in silence. I know William wanted to talk, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. It was like my throat was closed, almost too painful to speak. I clutched the military documents to my chest and stared at the ground, avoiding his gaze. Luckily, the walk back flew by and we had reported in, washed up, and went back to our own tents. Finally by myself, I curled up in my sleeping bag and cried silently. I wept for the people we had murdered and their families. Why had it always been so easy to take lives? I wondered. I had never given a thought about the families of the people that I killed. But, watching the light in that man's eyes disappear and his thoughts travel elsewhere was almost too much. It shouldn't have affected me one bit. And yet it tangled me in my own head and dragged me under the sea of my own demons. I was fighting to get out, but it seemed that whatever I did, I only sank deeper.