Chapter 12: Feelings
Kate
I was able to take my phone back from Marc’s hand and answered the phone myself. Even if I don’t want to, I must take this phone call. I don’t know why he is calling me but it must be urgent because this is his eight phone call.
“Marc, let me talk to Kate.” Annoyance was evident on Dylan’s voice.
I looked at Marc with a mean and irritated look, he just smiled back and sat down at the bench that he points out a while ago.
“It’s me Kate.” I said in a low and soft tone of voice.
“Thank goodness, where are you? I’ll go and get you home.” He said in relief.
I bite the bottom of my lip and didn’t answer his question.
“Kate? Where are you? Talk to me.” He added.
I swallowed the lump on my throat and I don’t know if he should go here because I don’t want him to. He’s not my real boyfriend and he doesn’t have the right to question me with such things. We’re just pretending and now he wants to go here and get me home without asking if I was okay with it? Am I just being paranoid or I’m just annoyed by the fact that we’re pretending and my feelings for him was never fading?
In my surprise, Marc took my phone out of my hands for the second time.
“I’ll get her home, you don’t have to worry. Good bye Dylan.” Marc ended the phone call and placed my phone in my bag.
“Now can we sit and talk casually?” He went back to sit on the bench and pat the space beside him, signaling me to seat down.
I went and sat down beside him but of course with a little distance. We’re not close and we just met, so I shouldn’t be as comfortable when I’m with him.
“You shouldn’t be snooping at other’s conversation and getting their phone without permission.” I protested with my arms folded against my chest.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that your boyfriend seems to annoy me.” I can felt him staring at me and I didn’t look at him, “So, back to the topic. Since when did you two started dating?”
“Why are you asking me those questions? What do you care if we’re dating and if he’s my boyfriend? Why do you want to be friends with me when I’ve been new in this school for months now? Why did you send me those note and giving information about Dylan? What’s with you? What’s with all of you? Why is everyone making my life so miserable? Why do I have this kind of life? Why does my mother hate me? Why isn’t my father calling me for months? Why do I have to like a guy that doesn’t even like me back? Why am in here anyway? Why am I a fucking mess?!” I said, aggressively. I was letting everything out. I was about to cry but I tried my best to hold it in. Did I just complain in front of a stranger that I just met? Did I told him about the feelings I have towards a guy? I hope he didn’t heard it clearly because if he would, my life will be much worst compared before. I can’t bear this stress and pain that I’m experiencing right now. No one is there to help me and even comfort me in my darkest times. I want someone to help me lighten up this burden that I’m carrying.
He pats my back, comforting me. “I’m sorry.” He said in a serious and comforting tone of voice. He didn’t asked me about any of my problems and just told me that he was sorry. I felt weak and as if I finally found someone who can comfort me.
“Sorry if your life is a mess. Sorry if I was adding into your problems. I really wanted to be your friend that’s why I’m here.” He exhaled, “It’s just that—“ He paused and I looked at him as his eyes were faced away from me. He was avoiding eye contact and I don’t know why.
“I—want to, be friends? Let’s be friends. I don’t know why I even wrote that note? Maybe I’m just eager to be friends with you, I guess?” He scratches the back of his neck.
“I’m sorry for complaining.” I bite the bottom of my lip and settled my eyes unto him. He finally turn to look at me and gave me his pleasing smile.
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who needs to be saying sorry. Let’s just hang out some other time when you’re in the mood and let’s be friends then?” He lends his hand for me to shake.
I looked at him with a smile place unto my lips, “Sure, let’s be friends.” I shake his hand back and this time I was able to feel that some part of my life has something good in it.
--
I put back some books inside my locker, I closed it as soon as I finished and I was startled when I saw Dylan who was already beside me. His aura seems different and he looks troubled. He kept on asking me where I was yesterday and I didn’t even gave him my answer. I don’t know what he needs but I think that maybe he was just worried about me being with someone that I hardly even know. He doesn’t need to do that because I can handle myself.
“You should not go out with some stranger that you just met.” Those words escapes from his mouth. He was looking at me with his sharp and anxious stare that I find weird.
“He’s not just somebody. We’re already friends.” I stated as I walk through the hallway with him beside me.
“You can’t just go out with someone you just met Kate.” He buried his hands on his pockets, “I’m worried sick about you yesterday and you didn’t even told me where you were.” He finishes with a sigh.
“Dylan.” I stopped on my tracks and look at him straight in the eyes, “I know I made you worry but you can’t just invade my privacy. You’re not my real—“
He cuts off my sentence, “I know, I know.” He admitted in defeat. “See you later.” He left without letting me say another word.
I can’t understand him. Why is he acting like this? We’re just pretending and I know that he doesn’t even like me. He shouldn’t be acting this way. He should not worry about me and just go on with his life. I wish that this pretend relationship we’re having will end right away because I can’t bear with this anymore.
--
Dylan
I know that we’re pretending. She doesn’t have to clarify those things in front of me. I’m just a friend, caring for her. Doesn’t she see that? Doesn’t she have trust issues? Why does she have to go out with a stranger that she just met? She’s making things difficult for me to understand and she’s also making her friends worry because of those things that she’s doing. She doesn’t even know Marc Reed and yet she decided to go out with him.
“Easy there tiger.” Austin whispered on my ear. I moved his face away from me and it was evident that I was annoyed.
Its lunch break and we decided to hang out in the soccer field. Our game was postponed and will be held next week. Can’t wait to play and show everyone how good we are.
“Why don’t you just go back with you girlfriend?” I muttered with an irritated look on my face. Yes, Beth and Austin are already in a relationship. Never knew that Austin is really serious about Beth.
He chuckled and just gave me his sweet and annoying smile. Ryan throw his notebook right at me, I looked at him with an unexplainable look on my face. What is his problem?
“What’s your problem?” I lie myself down in the green grassy field.
“Can’t you just break with her now so that your problems will just disappear in an instant?” He suggested. Ryan was against of me having this pretend relationship I have with Kate. I don’t know why he’s so against with me having a girlfriend or even having a pretend one.
“I can’t. It’s not yet the time.” I stare at the sky as the clouds form into different kinds of shapes and figures. Looking at the sky help me take of my mind off things, especially my problems in life.
And when we stopped talking at each other, all I can feel was silence and the nature doing their thing. Looking at the sky made me remember everything that I and Kate shared. Especially the fact when I engaged the keys unto her lips.
Why do I remember her? Why is everything replaying back in my head? Do I like her? Am I afraid to admit it to myself? Why am I irritated and mad at the fact that she gone out with Marc yesterday? Why do I have this feeling that I want to see her? Why am I being like this?
I let out a heavy breath and continued to gaze at the sky above me. The conclusion that finally came up in my mind is the fact that, Do I like Kate Hughes? Am I ready to open my heart for someone?
--
Marc
“I saw you yesterday, hanging out with Dylan’s girlfriend.” Grey handed me the books that I needed to borrow from him.
“So what? Just because she is Dylan’s girlfriend, it doesn’t mean that I can’t be friends with her and hang out with her and besides I don’t think Dylan is serious with her.” I determinedly said.
I knew the fact that they are pretending. I heard them when they made up that deal. I know I’m not supposed to mess with other people’s privacy because it’s rude but you can’t blame me.
I, Marc Reed like Kate Hughes. When did it start? It started on the first day of school. At first I described her as the shy and clueless kind of girl but it turns out, she doesn’t. I wanted to talk to her before she even met Dylan but I always tend to get nervous and let fear come over me. She’s the first girl in this school that made me smile and in the same time, made my heart skip a beat by just looking at her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a stalker or anything. I just really liked her and I was relieved when I overheard them talking that deal. Kate can’t go out with Dylan, he’s a jerk and a playboy. I maybe a troublemaker but I consider myself better than him.
“You know man.” He closes his locker and settled his eyes unto me, “Dylan maybe a playboy but when he claims that he have a girlfriend, it’s serious. We’ve been friends for years now and I know him.” He finishes with a signature smirk placed unto his lips.
Grey has this built and muscular body. Everybody is afraid of him when he’s angry, except for me. He have this brown hair and hazel nut eyes. He’s a football player and he’s the best they got. Our group is entitled as the party animals because we love to party and because Grey’s parents is rich, we have a place to crash in. But sometimes I wasn’t able to party because I tend to get in detention and pay extra hours of cleaning duty in school.
“I don’t think you do.” I smiled but deep inside, I was getting mad for him defending Dylan. I mean I’m on his group and Dylan was just, never mind. Nothing will happen if I get mad and I don’t want to go back to detention.
He pats my shoulder, “Looks like Mr. Locke is here to get you back in detention.”
I turn my back to look whether Mr. Locke is there. He’s our principal and we’re pretty close because I always visit him. You know, getting in detention.
“Oh Mr. Smith, nice to see you.” Mr. Locke greeted Grey with a smile place on his lips and then he looked at me, “Mr. Reed, I’m afraid you have a duty to fulfill. Come and follow me.” He stated.
And I’m back on duty work. “Good luck man, see you later.” Grey let out a chuckle that made me look at him with a mean look that I only used when I’m mad.
--
I should change and just be a good guy in exchange. You know, be academically active and follow my parents’ wishes of staying away from trouble. Well, I’m not the one who let myself in trouble, trouble does. And speaking of trouble, here’s one.
I’m at the parking lot, sweeping some trash that is needed to be clean up. I only have one hour left of cleaning duty that I need to finish and after that, I’m free from paying my duty hours.
Dylan Winters saw me and he decided to confront me with his jaws clenched and hands on his pockets. I just smiled in anticipation and waited for him to speak as he stops in front of me with an amount of distance.
“What brings you here Winters?” I let go off the broom that I was holding and folded my arm against my chest.
“Just letting you know that you should stay away from my girlfriend.” He didn’t change his expression and looked at me as if I was a bad guy.
I let out a chuckle and gave him an irritated look, “Girlfriend? Or your pretend girlfriend?” Okay, I just got overboard. I’m sorry but he was getting me angry.
His eyes widen and I can feel him getting tense of what I told him. After some seconds, he finally composed himself and spoke to me with gritted teeth, “I don’t know how you know that and I don’t know also what’s on your mind, but you can’t just invade any other’s privacy.” He let out a heavy breath, “Whether she’s my pretend girlfriend or not, stay away from her. Because—“
He walk towards me and looked at me straight in the eyes, I can feel anger burning inside of him and even I can feel it rushing inside my body too.
“I like her!” We both said in a high and angry tone of voice.
He likes Kate?! Since when did a guy like him started to like someone?
“Pardon?” I can’t believe that he likes Kate too.
“I like Kate.” He bite his bottom lip, “And so do you?” He let out chuckle and not moments later, His jaws clenched and now he looks at me differently. “I don’t know how you started liking her but Kate is mine.”
“Kate is yours huh?” I put both of my hands on my side and I can feel them clenching with anger. “You don’t own her.” I walk towards him and never did I knew I connected my fist, straight into his face.
He punch back and kick me in the stomach that made me lie down the ground. I can’t just lie down here and admit in defeat. I stood up and punch him back that made his nose bleed and he have this scar on his cheek. I know I’m bleeding too but I’m too focused on punching Dylan back. He punch back and I can feel his eyes burning in anger while he looks at me. Once again, I find myself lying on the ground and he towered me with his height, I stood up and punch him on the stomach, on his face and right on the left eye that I knew will later be swollen. He didn’t back down and insisted to fight.
He fought back and grab my shirt, he was about to land his fist right in front of my face when both of his friends together with Grey come and separated the both of us.
--
Kate
“They what?!” I said in a surprised and high tone of voice. Beth came running to me and told me that Marc and Dylan had a fist fight a while ago in the parking lot. I was surprised and I have this feelings that they got into that because of what happened yesterday.
“Where are they?” I said, panicking. Dylan should’ve talked with Marc Reed. Whatever they have talked about, I know it’s something ugly because they wouldn’t be fighting if it’s just something so small.
--
As soon as I reached the clinic, I saw Austin and Ryan talking with a big guy who is seated near the nurse’s table. I was looking for Dylan and Austin pointed out to where he was. I followed the direction and saw him with bruises and a scar on his face. The nurse who was with us before is treating him and she gave him an ice for him to put on his eye that seems swollen.
The nurse told me to continue the treating and instructed me what to do. I do what she told me to do and explained that she was going to treat the other guy who also have some bruises on his face. I knew it was Marc and I’m glad that they have separate rooms or else there will be another fist fight and who knows who can stop them with those rage they both have.
I was putting some solution on Dylan’s scars and I can feel his eyes settled unto me. I can’t help but to feel my heart skipping a beat whenever he was beside me. I’m mad at him for having this fist fight and I doubt that this fight wasn’t just something but it was because of the incident yesterday. He should’ve let it go and I know that he knew his limits.
“I’m sorry.” He said, apologizing. I swallowed the lump on my throat and just smiled weakly. He take a hold of my wrist, stopping me to whatever I was doing. My heart is banging against my chest and I have this feeling that he’s taking my breath away. I was so weak whenever I’m around him and I can’t take this any longer because this feelings must fade, not grow.
“Dylan, please stop talking and let me finish what I’m doing.” I uttered in a soft tone of voice. Even if I wanted to shout at him and get mad for having this fist fight with Marc, I can’t. This composure we’re having is unbearable for me to take and he makes me weak that I can’t hardly speak.
He stands up from where he’s sitting and towered me with his height. I didn’t looked at him but he cupped my cheeks and tried aligning my eyes to meet his. I stare at his lips and I wanted him to kiss me but some part of me is saying no because it’s wrong.
He leans his forehead against mine until we only have this little space left, “I like you Kate.” He said in a low tone of voice.
His sentence left me speechless and the beating of my heart was faster compared before. I can’t help but to smile on those words that he gave me. “I like you Kate, I do.” He added, taking my breath away.
I closed my eyes and told him, “Kiss me.”
Not seconds later, after telling him to kiss me, his lips crashes mine. I kissed him back and this time, the kiss wasn’t just a smack. It was something that made me weak and wanting him to be just close to me, hold me and hug me with his arms around me. My body was pressed against his and the kiss was soft and tender, I placed my arms around his neck and he have his hands pressed against my back. His gentle touch made me feel electricity running inside my body and in the same time I can feel myself burning. His kiss became deeper and it became more passionate. My lips and his moved in unison, I was kissing him with passion and I knew that I can’t let go. I let my hand ran through his hair, making it messier than before. His arms are now placed around my waist and he pulled me closer to his. He lifted me gently and sat me in the bed that he was sitted a while ago. The kiss was starting to get vigorous and I felt my body burning. I don’t know if I can part away from his lips because his cherry lips was making it hard for me leave. His gentle touch makes it harder for me and I knew this is have to end before we ended up doing something that is inappropriate for us to do especially in a place like this.
We heard small footsteps coming closer and neither of us find it hard for us to stop. The footsteps are getting louder and closer and we slowly parted, he was smiling at me and I did the same. The nurse entered and she have this unexplainable looks that I can’t understand. She later then smiled on the both of us, “Is something going on with you two?” She teased.
I stood up from the bed and let him sat down, I was tidying my wrinkled clothes that’s messed up because of the intensity of the kiss that I didn’t expect for us to do. I can feel myself burning and my cheeks turning red, Dylan takes a hold of my hand and I looked at him.
“She’s my girlfriend.” He gladly said to the nurse.