Chapter 18 – I Shouldn’t Be Here

Ellie

Everything is happening so unexpectedly. I know I feel like my heart is pounding so crazy but why do I have a gut feeling that there is something missing? I know that I’ve been waiting for this moment to happen since sophomore year but why do I feel like the perfect moment that I’m in right now is not so perfect at all. I can feel butterflies, I feel like my heart is about to explode out of my chest but why do I still feel incomplete?

I and Matt are seating in one of the seats at the dome where you can see stars at the ceiling because it’s see through. It’s so beautiful and I feel so special but in the same time, it does not really make sense but I do feel incomplete.

I felt his hand travel on mine, I was startled but I let him. I look at him when I felt his hand entangled on mine and he was smiling as he stares at the stars above us.

Am I happy?

Is this what I want?

I have a lot of questions circling inside my head and I can’t concentrate.