Chapter 4

School is one thing in life that I personally don't think should exist.I mean why the hell will I waste probably half of my life trying to gain some shitty knowledge that in the end I might not even need?

It doesn't just make sense to me,and I really thinking the world should look from my point of view and see how useless school actually is.

I arrive at school three minutes before the sound of the bell.That's a new record for me and I'm quite proud of myself. Normally I'd arrive halfway through first period and come up with some shitty excuse in defense.

Last week I had said that my dog died so I tried to bury it that morning.I think the teacher didn't believe me because the week before I had also said my allergy to dogs made me go to the doctor. Oh well,that's her problem not mine.

"Look at you arriving early to school", my best friend Mia says.If you think my dressing is bad,you should take a look at what Mia wears.

It's like she borrows her clothes from her grandma or something. I once jokingly said it to her, but she told me it was the 'latest fashion'.

I'm pretty sure long pleated skirts with an oversized button down shirt worn under something that looks like an apron is not 'latest fashion', but I chose to drop it. I love her that way.

"I know right, I couldn't sleep well last night so I got up immediately my alarm sounded". I rush the words hoping she didn't hear me.

But she heard me alright, because she abruptly slams her locker and turns facing me with a very worried expression on her face.

"Is everything okay, is there something you want to talk about?", she asks. I look around the rowdy hallway filled with students scrambling to their first class of the day or just standing and talking beside their lockers.

"Not here",I said. I drag her down the hallway and take her to the female toilet. Thankfully, it's empty.

I open the bathroom stalls to make sure it is completely empty, you can never trust high school students. I finally look back at Mia. She looks scared,too scared and I smile at her, trying to tell her not to worry so much.

"I'm sick". I tell her."Well, I'm not sure yet,I got a test done and I'm meant to get back to the hospital today to get the results". I ramble on. She looks confused, trying to process what I just told her,I presume.

"Okay...on a scale of 1 to 10,how sick are you?"She asks.

She looks like she is scared of my answer.Hell, I'm even scared of my answer.

"I'm talking about possible brain disorder sick".I tell her. A gasp escapes her lips and she quickly moves her hands to cover her mouth,tears already forming around the corners of her eyes.

"Wh..a..t" she stammers on. "Oh my god,are you okay?"

She is trying to fight her tears because she keeps on trying not to blink. She reaches out and hugs me.I'm taller than her so I have to bend down a bit but I love it this way. I love the fact that she seems to care so much about me.

She desn't have to say anything to me for me to know that she will always be by my side.Even if I was to die and come back a thousand times,I'd still choose her over and over again.

***

The day seems to go by pretty fast. Almost mocking me for what I was bound to face in a few hours time. I haven't seen Mia after our 'moment' earlier on. We have different timetables so I only get to see her during lunch on Mondays.

I scan the cafeteria real quick even though I already know where she is going to be sitted. She has a book buried between her eyes and her food looks untouched.Trust Mia to be reading even during her free time.

I walk towards her and immediately sit down with a loud thud. Hoping to get her attention. It works though,because she immediately looks up and gives me a sympathetic smile. I scowl back at her.

"What did I do?" She asks innocently.

"Don't do that". I reply her.

"Do what?"She replies back. She is getting irritated and I know it.

"Don't give me that 'my best friend is really sick so I have to be on my best behavior so as not to upset her' look". I reply more agitated.

She laughs. Like rolls her head back and laughs hard. Why the hell is she laughing?She's crazy that's for sure.

"You're crazy, Claire".She finally says. I scowl at her again while she begins opening her lunch not after raising her middle finger at me.

"That's your lunch?" I ask. She opens her plate to reveal a near empty plate of Macaroni and cheese.

"Yes?" She says. It sounds more like a question than an actual response.

"You white people literally eat any shit as a full meal".I continue saying.

"That shit can't even last in my tummy for thirty minutes not to talk about a whole day".

She scowls at me this time around. But it is a playful scowl.

"Claire honey, you forget you're white too".She says in between spoonfuls of Mac and cheese.

She chews her food fast and continues."And don't forget that not everyone loves food the way you do".

"I'm not white, I'm mixed, idiot. There's a difference". I throw a broccoli at her while emphasizing my point.

It's true though, my dad was from back in Pullman. While my mum..well I don't know where my mum's from but I know she's African- American.I think I heard her say something like Brooklyn one time. I didn't care to pay attention.

Mia rolls her eyes at me while still eating her food.Chewing in silence still reading her obnoxious book.

When school dismissed for the day, I find myself being the last to leave history class. Not because I love my History teacher or anything,but because I dread what is waiting for me outside of school.

Mia has drama practice or she'd have been with me. I pack my books into my backpack and walk outside,ready to take my bike home,when I spot my mom's car.

She is waiting for me.

I quickly text Mia and tell her she can take my bike home and bring it back later for me before taking a deep breath and climbing into my mother's car.

My mom looks worse than she did in the morning. And I want to believe it is from work not from me.

She is a gynaecologist working in a specialist hospital so she has to deal with a lot of hormones everyday.

I pick at my fingernails unsure of what to say while my mum fiddles with the keys of her car. I guess we are both uncomfortable. Today is going to be a long ass day.