Chapter Twenty-Five:

I hoped that he would run after me that night, tell me he didn't mean what he said, but no he didn't. For nights I left my window open, hoping he would climb through one evening but he never did. Days of not showing up to school turned into two weeks and I lied to my Mother saying that I am sick but I'm almost certain she knows what has happened. I can't sleep without dreaming about him, I cant even eat without thinking about him and every single memory we had. Why did he stop fighting for us? Why... why doesn't he want me? I'm so fucking stupid. I let him do this to me because I was so attached. It is my fault and I really wish I could erase all the memories we had together to make the pain go away faster but that means I would erase Gabriel entirely. What if I didn't help him when he came through my window? Told him to leave like I should have? We would never be together I am guessing... God I wish I chose that option at the time but was it even a option?

I feel a pillow hit my head.

"Stop sulking about the idiot and get up. You've missed too much school." Angelica says.

"I.... I can't face him, sit next to him...and you can't convince me otherwise."

"I know I can't but maybe they can." I look up from suffocating myself in my pillow and see Sirena and Rose.... Seriously?

"Maddie, you look and smell like shit now get up, take a shower, look like the boss bitch you are and go to school and show Gabriel what he is missing." Rose instructs.

"No."

"Maddie-" Rose tries to say more but I hear Sirena's annoying voice over lap hers.

"Look, I fucking hate you and I probably always will but Rose is right. Men ain't shit and you should show him that you don't actually need him." I say nothing to the roach in my room.

"Let yourselves out."

The room goes silent for around five minutes, I'm almost sure they have left and I can go back to drowning in my misery.

Suddenly I feel a tug on both of my legs, pulling me off my bed,

"Your getting fucking up and getting ready if you like it or not bitch!" Sirena yells.

She continues to pull me to the bathroom and pushes me into the shower that is already started.

"You have five minutes." She says. My clothes begin to soak with the water as it fills my mouth as I sit in shock.

I don't know why her of all people actually care. She should see this as a opportunity, I'm out of the way now so she can get her STD pussy all over Gabriel's dick.

Thanks to her, my clothes are wet and I'm taking a shower backwards because she decided to care when I don't want her to. Honestly I don't give a fuck about what he or anyone thinks but I don't think I can face him without balling my eyes out.

"Times up!"  Sirena yells from the other side of the door. I shut off the water and grab my towel.

"I need clothes!"

"We will pick you out an outfit." Rose tells me. I do my makeup and hair in the mean time, deciding to put it half up half down and do a jewel makeup look with purple eyeshadow. They throw in my clothes and shoes right before I finish and I put on the orange long sleeve shirt, white sweatpants and Jordan fives after finishing my face.

"We're going to be late!" Angelica complains like it has ever bothered her before. I step out and they all clap like idiots.

"You look like your bitchy self!" Sirena says and all I do is smile at her and mouth "Thank you." And she nods back. I still think this is a bad idea and don't want to go but seeing my girlfriends... even Sirena,  supporting me and trying to give me back the confidence that was taking from me makes me feel better. I might skip Geography though, I don't think I can bare to sit next to him and I really hope second semester comes soon so that I don't have Geography anymore. This doesn't feel like reality... us being broken up. I know we haven't been together for that long but it kills. I want him back so bad but I also want to scream at him for breaking my heart.

When we pull up to the school, I've never had more anxiety. I miss the confident Maddie from Los Angeles that wouldn't give a fuck and not show people how she feels but ever since I have moved here... I totally forgot that Maddie ever existed. I only get glimpses of her every now and then.

"You can do this... we're going to walk into Geography together and your going to show him that your okay." Angelica places her hand on my back, giving me a little push to walk inside. But I'm not okay...I really am not. Why do they all think I care what he thinks? Because I don't. I should have came into school looking like complete garbage so he knows he is the one who did this to me but for some reason I still have some hope he really does still want me... and he is a bigger mess than I am.

She continues to lead me to the classroom like I don't know where it is and everyone is seated and of course not one person is missing... not including the teacher  since class hasn't officially started yet. I sit in Angelica's seat beside this weird kid that eats his own boogers and she takes mine. When the teacher finally arrives he instantly darts his eyes over back and forth between Angelica and I,

"No switching seats girls." He says.

"But Sir we must! That's literally the rule of being best friends, we have to switch seats half way through the semester... how don't you know this?" Obviously she is making up some bullshit.

"Angelica, no one likes a liar now go back to your seats before both of you will be sitting in the office." He warns. Before Angelica can fight back I get up in defeat, not wanting her to get into any trouble over me. We switch back to our regular seats and I try my best not to look at Gabriel but end up failing only two minutes in. He isn't how I hoped he would be, he looks great. Still has some bruises on him but nothing looks recent and he is wearing... the sweater I bought him. I stop myself from crying so I don't show him the effect he has on me. 

"Okay, open your textbooks to page 213." The Teacher says and I do just that. I try to stick my nose in my book and hide myself from the man I once called my boyfriend. He told me once he wouldn't know what he would do if he lost me... and he did just that on his terms. I'm starting to think everything he said to me was a lie, that I was his everything... the only thing he cared about. If he cared so much about me why did he give up... leave me? 

"Hey." I hear his deep voice say that shocks me, giving him almost none of my attention, only a quick glare,

"Hi." I see Angelica look over to me but says nothing.

"You don't have to talk to me like were strangers, Maddie... we dated for three months."

"I'm sorry, weren't you the one that told me to forget about you? So that's exactly what I'm doing." I'm not going to lie... I wanted him to say something but he has no right to call me out like that.

"Are you really going to be like this? We sit next to each other... were going to have to talk sometime." I turn to face him again,

"I'm just following your instructions, buddy. Trying to forget about you and I'm pretty sure the reason we broke up was because I was trying to talk to you so I'm not going to make that mistake again."

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I ask and the teacher nods before continuing his lecture on global warming.

As I get into the hall, I run to the closest bathroom and luckily no one was in there. I go into one of the pink stalls, sliding down the stall door, letting my tears out. Resting my head on the wall, I try to understand why he had to talk to me... why? He could have stayed quiet, ignored my existence like I ignored his but instead he actually tried to act like nothing happened and we can be friends? I am almost certain we can never be friends, he took my fucking virginity, we spent almost everyday together for three months, we went through so much together... we got upset with each other about our future but at least we were talking about it and now he wants to be friends? Right after he tore my heart in half. I roll up in a ball, bring my knees right under my chin hugging them tight. How can a world be so lonely just from losing one person? I know we argued all the time and it probably wasn't healthy but at the same time it was the healthiest relationship I ever had. Three months and we did so much together but at the same time not enough. We didn't get to go on a second date... take a road trip together, go to the movies, go bowling. There's a roller skating place in town that we talked about going to... well I did and he didn't agree but either way we never ended up going to it or get into a stupid argument about not going to it. I don't know why I'm acting like he died... probably because it feels that way? Like I'll never have that Gabriel again, instead the Gabriel everyone else has to deal with... the cold one that doesn't open up or isn't affectionate to anyone.

"Maddie?" I hear a voice with a Australian accent call out. I say nothing to who I know is Griffin.

"I know you're in here... I saw you run in." I see his feet right in front of the stall,

"Are you okay?" I still say nothing to him.

"I guess if your going to stay in here, I'm going to have to as well." I watch as he takes a seat through a crack and rests his head on the stall right around where mine is.

"I always thought you were too beautiful for him anyways."

"And I hope you know he's the one missing out, not you."

After talking to himself for a couple of minutes he finally stops and takes a deep breathe.

"I know you're probably not going to answer but I love you and you may not have the person you truly love but you have me and I know you love me too... of course not the same way you love him but I know you do."

"You know, you're probably going to get in trouble for being in here." I finally speak up and say. I can feel his smile coming through the door that keeps us apart.