1.4: Under the cherry blossom rain

Su Si secretly examined the handsome man carefully, afraid to miss out any detail in his expressions. She couldn't help but sigh in her heart again when she took a good look at the peerless face.

Although his appearance and bearing was second to none, his fate was weak. Even as a member of the imperial clan which covered the whole sky and ruled the land under the heaven, he was bound to be unable to rise ever again and succumb to someone else's schemes.

It was said that the imperial family was the most heartless and cold towards familial bonds as brothers killed brothers and the father guarded against his own sons. It was both a good fortune and misfortune for a person to be born with this dragon blood in their veins.

But even if she felt that it was a pity, she knew the law of the jungle. And the strong preyed on the weak. She knew she was just a small pawn in the hand of the person behind her who can be discarded anytime they wanted to.

With her humble identity and powerlessness, she can only surrender herself and tread through this perilous path laid down with unprecedented danger the further she walked, the more she was sucked inside this swamp; unable to pull herself out of it anymore.

So she, as one of the culprits behind the 'chronic illness' of his highness, Xiang Wang, was the least worthy person to pity him. They were bound to be enemies so she could only put aside any other emotions inside her and seriously play the role of a mole in the fu. At least this way, she might be able to find a way out for herself after everything's settled.

Thinking this way, Su Si came out of her thoughts and poured tea for Bai Yu to rinse his mouth with as she lifted the tea cup and handed it over to him with a smile on her face.

Bai Yu didn't know what kind of thoughts went through her mind but no matter what she was thinking about, he had no interest to care about it nor did he put much importance on her, this little chess piece. When he called for her to serve him his breakfast, he had his own reason behind it and it wasn't just to check out this spy under his nose but also to verify some doubts inside his heart.

And he already had half of the doubt clarified in his mind as for the other half....it didn't need any more of his pondering to know whether it was true or not.

Bai Yu calmly accepted the tea cup as these thoughts flashed quickly in his mind when his fingers accidentally brushed on the others'.

He suddenly felt an intense feeling of repulsion and disgust inside and he quickly retracted his hand as if he had touched something extremely disgusting which caused the tea cup that had lost its support, to fall on the floor with a loud 'crash' and shattered into pieces! The freshly brewed tea splattered in all direction and a small part of Bai Yu's robe was drenched but no more harm was done to him.

Instead, it was Su Si, who was the closest and the one holding the tea cup, who was scalded in her hand as a red patch appeared on her fair and smooth skin. With a cry of pain, she retreated a few steps as she waved her burnt hand in panic.

"Miss!" Xiao Tong who had been standing at the side quickly shouted in shock and hurriedly came forward to check her mistress' injury. While Xiao Mo also checked on his master from head to toe to not miss out any injury and sighed in relief only after seeing that he wasn't hurt and only a small part of his robe was drenched by the tea.

Su Si immediately came back to her senses and endured the burning pain on her hand as she knelt down and kowtowed to Bai Yu, pleading, "T-this lowly servant was careless. This lowly servant didn't mean to cause such a blunder and nearly harm your highness. Please spare this lowly one for her grave mistake. Please show mercy, your highness!"

Her forehead thumped on the floor as she kowtowed with unshed tears in her beautiful eyes. It was a very moving sight but Bai Yu had no mood to sympathise with the beauty. His forehead was knitted tightly as rare intense emotions of disgust and discomfort was seen in his eyes. His face was abnormally pale and some beads of sweat formed on his forehead even at this cold weather.

Xiao Mo saw that his master was behaving abnormally and thought that his illness had relapsed so he started to feel panicked and worried inside.

"Wang ye! Wang ye, are you alright?" Xiao Mo tried to get closer to check his condition but was stopped by him.

With a somewhat cold voice, Bai Yu said as calmly as possible. "It's nothing. Get up and leave."

Su Si could feel that something was wrong as well and had a faint guess in her mind but she kept it to herself and quickly kowtowed again in gratitude then hurriedly retreated from the study after she instructed her maid to clean up the porcelain shards and tea stain on the floor.

Xiao Mo saw him calm down after taking a few deep breaths but was still worried about his health. He said, "Wang ye, should this servant call for an imperial physician?"

But Bai Yu only shook his head and he had to reluctantly drop this idea. Since his master has said so, he could only follow his command. Although he was very worried about his master, he couldn't go against his wishes.

He sighed sadly in his heart. His highness was getting more and more unpredictable lately. He didn't know whether it was good or bad but he hoped he would recover quickly so that he won't have to suffer so much again.

...

Su Si walked back to her east courtyard. She was silently pondering about something the whole way as she couldn't help but feel a bit restless inside.

The abnormality his highness showed just now as well as his icy cold finger that brushed against hers' which caused her goosebumps to stand and his extremely pale complexion could only lead her to conclude that the cold poison inside his body was already deeply rooted inside him and had almost frozen all his internal organs. This meant his death was almost near the corner.

This meant that that peerlessly beautiful man was going to die a death even worse than dogs and it was also partly caused by her own hands...

All this time, she hadn't felt anything about it and just did what she was told to keep her life and live peacefully while hiding any traces in case she was caught for her atrocious act of poisoning and trying to take an imperial prince's life. But why, when she finally met him again and saw his calm and indifferent face as well as his extremely pitiful state just now, she felt as if her heart was slowly squeezed by an invisible hand?

Was this because of her guilt?

Or did she...

She quickly shook her head to throw the ridiculous conjecture from her mind and let out a self-mocking chuckle.

She was just thinking too much amidst the panic and guilt.

However, no matter how she tried to deny it, the strange emotion still lingered deep inside her guilt-ridden heart.

...

Back in the study, Bai Yu drank the tea handed over by Xiao Mo then calmed down slowly. Thinking about what happened just now, his mind wandered around the pieces of new memory fragments that surfaced in his head.

The memory couldn't be pieced together and just the little fragments didn't give him any further information. But he somewhat could tell that they were his own memory and that it had something to do with that huge reaction he showed when he came in contact with Su Si.

In his previous worlds, he had managed to keep a safe distance from others so he had no idea that he would react in such a way from someone's touch. When his fingers brushed against Su Si's, he felt intense repulsion, disgust, hatred and...fear.

Swaying the teacup lightly, he pondered.

What could be the reason behind this? What could have happened for him to have such a trauma?

But when he came in contact with Xiao Mo or other males, he didn't feel so repulsive as to lose his composure. Maybe it had to do with women only?

Did he have some kind of past with a woman which left such a huge psychological trauma on him? Or maybe it was just some psychological disorder?

He was indeed a bit mysophobic but it wasn't very serious and could be suppressed by him without any difficulty. Surely, this wasn't some type of disorder but can only be seen as a trauma...

Unable to get any answer from his useless musings, Bai Yu shook his head lightly then put down the teacup on the table.

Xiao Mo saw that he was finally normal so he tried to think of a subject to drive away the sombre atmosphere in the study. He coughed. "Wang ye...are you feeling alright now? If not, should I call for a physician?"

He was still worried about his master's health so he brought up the matter again.

"I'm fine. Don't think about it too much." Bai Yu could tell he was only concerned about his wellbeing so he wasn't as cold as before and said softly.

Then thinking about something, Bai Yu paused and asked, "Is there any news from Long Huo?"

Xiao Mo shook his head slowly, "There's still no news from him. He only sent a letter back a month ago then our contact was lost. Wang ye, do you think something happened...?"

Bai Yu only shook his head silently and didn't answer his question.

In his memory, Long Huo was an orphan who was once saved by Long Ji Wei when he nearly died from his serious injuries while pursued by his enemies from jianghu a few years ago. He was a mysterious young man who was adept in martial arts as well as poison.

When Long Ji Wei first met him, it was in the snowy winter where pure white snow covered the Fenglai mountain. When he was just 15 years old, he was sent to the Fengshui temple located at the peak of Fenglai mountain to stay there and pray to Buddha for his recovery for a whole year by his father emperor after listening to the scheming imperial consort Shu's pillow talk.

The FengLai mountain was located at the very border of the three main kingdoms and didn't belong to any of them. There was once a rumour about how if one devoutly prayed to the god in the Fengshui temple after walking the 999 stone steps to get there on foot, the god will bless him and fulfil his wish. That was also the excuse Imperial Consort Shu gave to the emperor to let him go and lose his life there.

But what she never expected was that he managed to stay alive and even got himself a powerful and loyal guard who messed up many of her schemes against Long Ji Wei.

While he was out to pick up some firewood in the back mountain, he found an unconscious Long Huo who was covered in blood from head to toe, lying on the snow making a garish contrast with red and white.

Due to his long period of being sick, he picked up some medicinal knowledge which could help in giving first aid so he picked up the injured man and barely managed to keep him from dying.

Long Ji Wei was living in a poor condition but was fortunate enough to have enough medicinal herbs that he picked up whenever he went to get some wild fruits, vegetables and firewood. He nursed Long Huo for three whole months when his injuries finally took a turn for the better and had a fast recovery. Because of this life saving grace, Long Huo pledged his loyalty to him and decided to follow and protect him for life.

Just half a year ago, Long Huo got some news about a miraculous and extremely rare herb which can cure Long Ji Wei's illness. Though he was worried that something will happen to him(LJW) when he was away, there was no one else who could safely bring the herb back. So he left some of his poisons as self-protection and went to a far away place to find the medicinal herb for him.

All these years, Long Ji Wei only had Xiao Mo and Long Huo as his closest family and friends so he was always worried that something might have happened to Long Huo after not getting any letters for more than a month.

Bai Yu also wanted to see this loyal guard of his and was a bit curious about his real identity but that could only wait until he was back from his mission and was of no use for him to think about it for too long.

Just when he was about to take a sip of his tea, a servant came from outside to announce that someone had come to deliver him an invitation card.

"An invitation?" Bai Yu raised his brow. "From who?"

Xiao Mo accepted the invitation card which was laced with gold and silk then handed it to Bai Yu with both hands.

"Oh? A cherry blossom outing at the Fushen temple held by fifth brother?" Bai Yu quirked up his lips as he read the words written in the exquisite card.

"That's so him. Extravagant and a show off." He snorted out a chuckle.

The Fushen temple was located at the suburbs of the capital city which was full of natural beauty and had the best cherry blossom viewing spot. There were many scholars who wrote poems about its breathtaking beauty which also attracted the eyes of many pilgrims as well as nature lovers who came to have a look and also light incense in the temple along the way.

Every year, nobles and royalties held an outing to enjoy the beautiful cherry blossoms and also used it as an excuse to socialise.

"Wang ye, do you want me to return the invitation card and tell them you are not feeling well to join them?" Xiao Mo asked from the side when he heard his mocking laugh.

Whenever anyone invited Long Ji Wei before, he would always give an excuse of being sick and not being able to join them which wasn't actually half false. Unless it was a big event such as new year reunion banquet, he would always reject any invitation sent for him.

Xiao Mo thought he didn't want to accept the invitation today too. But unexpectedly, Bai Yu shook his head and said, "Go. Why not? Since it's my dear fifth brother who especially sent me an invitation, as the younger brother I must give him some face, no?"

"Then Wang ye, will you really go?" Xiao Mo asked in doubt. Why did his highness want to suddenly accept the invitation from Ning Wang that he always used to avoid like a plague?

"Mm. It has been quite a while since I went out of my fu. No matter what the reason, this prince* should still go to freshen up their memory about this prince unless they forget that I am still alive and kicking. Even if I can't do anything else to them, at least I can annoy them to the point they will wish for death." He chuckled again but it was lacking in mirth and only icy coldness could be felt.

{This Prince as in Benwang, used by the princes to address themselves.}

Xiao Mo shuddered as he looked at his master whose mood he could no longer guess and thought about how he acted unusually today to the point of speaking more than just a sentence right now.

Maybe he was really in a good mood for being able to go out of the fu?

Bai Yu glanced at the card again and murmured, "In two days, huh..." He can't wait to meet his dear imperial brothers.