Chapter 121: I AM NOT BLIND

"I am not blind, nor truly heartless, Belphegor,

Like me, they were once little girls.

I know that feeling, of being helpless and stuck,

They were fated to be slaves, by an unfortunate luck.

I know that feeling of being powerless,

I know that feeling, of being in chains.

I know that feeling, one cannot simply escape,

We're just on different circumstances, chances and fate.

But it's the same lingering feeling of depression,

The small bitter cry for help, that when got unnoticed, turns to aggresion,

It's what they've hidden for so many years,

Although what they did was wrong, it's letting out their little fears.

Cleaning, and serving their masters with all they have,

Even their bodies, whose purity won't be taken back,

They suffered it all, for who knows how long,

I understand their actions, although they're still wrong.

They're all frustrated, they feel powerless,

That half of me understands, why they vented it on someone else.

Yes, I am hurt, and I would have slapped them once or twice,

But they've never felt respected before, and I wouldn't wish them to die.

Maybe they haven't even felt what love was like,

And somehow, they may never even might,

And now, you're taking what was left of their life,

A new day, not even saved from strife.

I am not a monster, I am not an impulsive killer,

I do not want to be part of this, heart breaking murder.

Every one deserves understanding, a chance,

Please Belphegor, if it's not much to ask,

Just spare them, let them live their lives,

They've seen enough, I can't allow myself to be the lost of a life."

Belphegor was at first against it,

But later on, realized she looked determined,

He recalled Luna however, since she was kind and understanding as well,

He felt move, a lifting feeling in his chest suddenly dwelled.

He turned around the women and gave them a stare,

As he spoke in a cold voice, "Do it again, I dare.."

The women cried and apologized again and again,

As Sellena bowed down, "We're all in pain..."

Once they left the room,

Belphegor took Sellena out to gaze at the moon,

He hated the sight of it, but now he decided to look at it,

Recalling his true love, and his dearest friend.

Memories went back like it was yesterday,

He felt his eyes become teary, as he recalled holding her hands again.

Sellena noticed it, although he was too quiet about it,

"You know, Asmodeus told me about how the moon was created with...

The moon was your beloved, right, Belphegor?

She was your other half, although she sacrificed her form."

"Wait..he told you all that without my permission???

That bastard! I would have fought him if not for his condition!"

"I think it brought me a new side of you when I heard it,

I thought you were mean, but in reality, you fully weren't.

But, you're still mean though,

But not as mean as I thought."

Sellena giggled as Belphegor felt further amused,

She's just a mere human, but how come she acts like she's so used.

"Tsk, you shouldn't talk like that when you're with a demon like I,"

"But you're not hurting me, though my husband's not on sight,"

"Why would I hurt the woman my friend dearly loves?"

"He shouldn't have loved me, he was so rash,"

"You gave him something, we all failed to give him,

You can't blame the guy if he'd act like he did.

After all, I did questionable things as well, for the woman I love,

Did I regret it? No, not one bit, did I have,

She was the world to me, and you were his world,

His eyes were all full of you, despite it untold.

You don't...understand how much he loves you, huh?

You're the first woman to look beyond his looks and charisma,

He used to have a lot of different girls, but none of them makes him feel contented,

I didn't know, that it's someone like you he wanted.

Tell me, how did you make him change like that?"

"I didn't do anything, actually,

Or that's what I think of it,

To be honest, I believe that side of him is lurking in the deepest part of his heart all along,

And he just released it bit by bit, when his desire went too strong.

He wanted to be loved, I can see it in his eyes,

I hope he loves himself first, for he's not really that wise.

He's desperate for attention, like a newborn crying child,

It breaks my heart to see him, he really, really tries.

Those time I was cold, he was patient, he was kind,

I ignored him nonetheless, though his sadness, he cannot hide.

He never complained or hurt me,

Or that's how I remember things were,

He continued to desperately court me,

No matter how much I told him to dare.

I thought he was just a manipulative demon like Satan,

When he's just trying to find comfort and solace all this time.

It's as if he was finding a home he could dwell in,

After all, great desire and longing for, was his sin.

I thought all he needed was physical satisfaction,

I did not considered his emotional traumas,

And mistakened his ways as only mere attraction.

I don't even know why he was the way he was,

Why he came to be...the Lord of Lust.

He was so different than what I first thought of him,

He was a little boy, who barely knows anything.

He blushes at the littlest touch, as if he haven't had much of that,

I often wonder, what...made him like that?"

Belphegor's eye widened, remembering the first day he saw little Asmo,

"Yeah, I remember that time...he was so shy to even say 'hello',

But whenever I'd ask Asmo about his past, he'd refuse me and joke around,

I guess only Satan knows, what his story's truly about.

I could only guess a bit of how his story was like,

He used to have bruises, and marks of bites,

I guess he was taken advantage of, and I'm lacking a lot of other details,

Maybe those actions grew to obsession? I can't really well tell.

But I know that Satan tried to stop him from those cravings,

Even tried to make him his exact copy,

But Asmo was young, and had rebelled more than once,

Despite it, Satan never really mind.

He loved him as his son,

And he honed him to this man..

Satan had no much love except for his love for that child,

He brought that fateful night..."

Sellena felt her skin become colder,

Not by the chilly wind, but because of the sorrow,

The sorrow accompanied by knowing he was a victim as well,

A victim of abuse, he already went to hell.

"Some say he took revenge on women by purposely seducing them and breaking their body and hearts,

But after long, he became mellower, though I can't recally when it had start...

He tried to be evil in his own little way,

But...that dumb demon is just built different,

His strong persona failed to stay.

I fear that once it's too much for Satan or Lucifer,

He'd be executed, and in a few centuries, his name won't be remembered.

Please...make that smile of his stay a bit longer,

Stay by his side, he needs it, he's gotten weaker.

Without you by his side, he would have been much worse,

He needs your love, to free him from his curse."

"Belphegor, as much as I love him, you know which side I'm on,

You can kill me now, but I won't change for such reason.

Even merely loving him was a sin enough,

I can't take another step, or I won't get back."

"Fine. I understand you're not that gullible-"

"My faith is not blind, and I'm not being unreasonable-"

"Yes, but let me finish.... I, I can't go back,

I still have this hate in me that will never go,

And whenever I see the moon, those negative feelings would show,

I loathed God, and His way of things,

The way we were treated, as merely playthings.

But a side of me still hopes we could return,

But...I can't, no matter how much I try to relearn.

So if ever you won't change, please take Asmodeus with you, and let him have a new start,

I believe, you two belong with each other, and were never meant to part..."

"You...you wanted to change sides?"

"It's too late, I pledged loyalty to Lucifer until I die.

I can't do anything about it, can't I?

There's not much left for me, but with Asmo, you can try.

He needs you, and I can't think of seeing him alone again,

Every night waking up, with a bunch of different women.

If ever you and the Seer, get into an argument,

Tell him Asmo's an angel, whose wings been clipped and bent.

He was not fitted in this hellish surrounding,

I knew that, since our very first meeting.

He came here, without a desire to rule the world,

He came here, because that's what he's told.

You found the real Asmo, you dug his purity,

But, you still have to kill, his other personality,

Save him, for if we do perish,

Our names in someone's heart...would not diminish."