Chapter 175: GO TO HELL

Haborym's POV:

Feelings.

Connection.

People.

I used to hate them whole-heartedly.

They did nothing but hurt me.

And...

they continue to do so,

No matter how hard I push them away.

If people fear demons and hell the most,

What I fear among all is emotions.

Never have I been fazed by any sight,

Only these emotions, hard as I may to hide.

Heh.

What am I doing?

Why am I, begging?

To a human at that.

How pathetic, am I.

She told me to pray.

Pray?

Would He listen if I, a servant of sin does?

Would I be connected to Him?

Or...would it go as I expected,

Shut me out.

I couldn't help but find everything...funny,

How Sellena doesn't seem to hate me.

Despite knowing, remembering my face,

I was the one who brought her here.

But, she doesn't seem to mind.

Muttering those words, as I watch behind.

Amazed.

Confused.

Wondering how her God would save her.

And if He could, why not yesterday?

Doubts filled my heart, as I continued to watch by.

Fascinated by her faith,

Undwindled by our lies.

I don't...get it.

But somehow, I trust that her God is far powerful than all of us,

Merciful, loving, isn't that how He was described?

Despite having lost my family, and my soul bounded to Lucifer,

Just sitting here, with this feelings in my heart,

I wonder if it's the time He was concerned.

Had He finally remembered me?

If He did, why didn't He called sooner?

Wait...

Why am I crying?

I...haven't done this...

Since ages.

What is this light feeling in my chest?

As if someone was unloading my burdens.

Am I just tired? Sleepy? Was it all in my head?

Or was He really listening?

My questions failed to end.

Was it what Abaddon felt?

The time he held my hand, and told me farewell?

Was it the reason why he was so sure?

That he was loved, despite the misfortunes he had?

But...still,

Why didn't He showed up before?

And why...why did He neglected me for so long?

Why did...it took this many years of torture for Him to embrace me,

I kept asking, and asking, until Sellena tapped me.

"You want to ask something?

You look...quite confused,

Don't worry, I can think of a way,

Just...relax for now,

And trust His plans,

Life isn't decided by just luck or a chance of fate."

"Why didn't He seemed reachable for me before?

And even now, I feel...so far,"

"Have you ever tried talking to Him once in your life?

If not, then...you'll surely lengthen the distance."

I...didn't. But I thought if He cared, He'd call for me.

"No. I didn't thought it was neccessary."

"Well it was. Anyways, how did you came to be?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What's your story?"

I froze, but no, I won't tell her.

I promised to bury it with me,

I won't tell nothing more.

She kept her eyes locked into mine.

Desperate to understand.

But she doesn't have to.

There's no time to put this on me.

What I'm concerned about is...

when I'll stay here and keep being a puppet.

Having those around me suffer their fate.

I used to just follow around because it was convenient,

Because Lucifer always send me away,

Temporarily forgetting the scent of hell.

I was so...dedicated to that purpose,

But how come I realized,

I'm also of low worth...

But...even so, isn't God treating His angels the same?

How strange.

Is there really a million reasons the side of good and evil differ?

Or...was it just like two companies, with different bosses,

not black and white, but gray?

"Lucifer...was created by God,

And God...created freedom,

But...when will our freedom have an end?

Well, if it's already stepping on God's words,

Then things won't be the same.

Lucifer took his freedom too far,

And look what he is now.

And if you're confused, even if you owe your Master a lot,

Doesn't it make you lonely? Being stuck here in the dark?

Surrounded by liars, traitors, and chaos?

Doesn't the view hurt your eyes?"

"But...how are you sure that God would forgive me?"

"Haborym, no one is perfect, only His son and He."

"I..."

But I don't know what to say.

All my life, I dedicated to Lucifer,

I've never disobeyed.

And now,

Was it finally time to break the contract?

To forget what he said back then,

Is it truly not late to go back?

"What am I feeling?"

I asked.

And she looked at me briefly,

"It's love."

"Love?"

"You showed concern for others,

You showed real emotions.

Haborym, I may not like you before,

But...now, I can see you're just as vulnerable.

You're just like us. A slave of a side.

The difference is, the one I serve is the one true God.

Also,

Haborym you could also be injured by fire, right?"

"Well, yes."

"Then think about suffering in a sea of fire, day and night.

You should fear it, Haborym,

Not even demons are saved from eternal pain.

Our God is forgiving, and loving.

But I must warn you, our time is ticking.

You don't have forever,

To repent for your sins."

I thought for a bit,

Wondering if I'm crazy enough to feel curious until...

I remembered no time when Lucifer truly cared about me.

I don't feel anything.

Not even satisfaction, as little as pint.

There's no benefit in obeying Lucifer.

There is nothing he did for me,

That I consider of my favor.

He does nothing but give me selfish orders...

"Well then, I made up my mind.

I'll help you set out your plan.

However, if you did escape,

I must stay behind,

And help others change.

I may not be close to most,

But I do care about my soldiers.

I may not succeed as well,

But...it's better than just waiting for my Death."

She smiled at me. Her eyes shining like the stars,

Filled with hope, I haven't seen in a while,

As she whispered so softly,

Hope God be with us.

...

The crunching leaves and twigs cracked at his steps.

As he felt a sudden change in the air.

He stopped as he slowly smiled.

"Abaddon? Why did you stop?"

Abaddon turned to his wife,

And although he had covered his eyes,

Aza could tell, they were twinkling with delight.

"I have a great feeling, that something went right."

...

155 sat on the corner, crying as another woman kept Lucifer entertained.

Her legs were covered with wounds,

As her cheeks were soaked wet.

She tried not to make too much noise,

And tried to keep most of her body covered.

Embarrassed, and feeling so dirty,

She now realized, she's truly a woman of pity.

Hah.

If her parents were alive,

They may have made fun of her all her life.

She covered her face with her palms,

Trying to muffle her hiccups,

And her chest to calm.

But she really wanted to be erased from existence.

It was the only reason she sees to get out of here.

If she kills herself, her soul will just go back to hell.

A never...ending...cycle.

She was going insane.

How can she escape anyway?

She have been trying a lot and they all fail.

She wanted to...if she could only,

just kill him right there.

But she wasn't stupid.

Maybe she was, but not that stupid.

So instead, she just watched him have all the fun he wanted,

As she dream whilst awake, for his death to be granted.

Oh, imagine her life without this man,

She may have made a name for herself.

But no, he had to come and pretend he cares,

155 couldn't help, but crumple her dress.

"F*ck you," she quietly murmured,

Pretending that in that bed, is where he'll be brutally murdered.

She laughed a bit, and somehow, the two woman resting noticed,

But they did not dare interferred.

They all share the same thinking.

(What kind of god is he trying to be?

Zeus, from the mythology?

F*ck you Lucifer, you've always been a liar,

Without you,

my life would have been far...far better.)

155 stands up, a bit drunk and grabbed the empty bottle,

She imagined herself, hitting his head.

She smiles at the thought, as she raises it slightly.

Then Lucifer, feeling someone was behind,

turned around quickly.

"What are you doing, sweetie?"

(Go to hell, don't you dare call me.)

"This...as you can see, is empty,"

"Well, you can grab another one, if you please."

(Tsk. How dare he act all good and sweet,

Whenever he needs anything from me?)

155 crumpled her fists,

As she walked away, in defeat.

Everything hurts.

And she kept drowning herself in liquior.

Uncomfortable by the cries of the other girls.

They were hurt, they were calling for help behind those whines,

But she knew, she couldn't help,

Even Haborym was powerless against this...

wannabe god.

This is what she gets for hoping for a perfect end.

Instead for a prince, she got a spawn from hell.

(Sellena, you better be...you better be thinking of something good.

I can't...take it no more,

Please...just let me taste the sunlight,

And gaze freely at the moon.

I want to get away from here,

Please make it soon.)

"Now, I think you've recovered enough,

Come here. Accompany us to another round."

The demon called as 155 yet again felt her dreams crumble down.

If only she could kill him,

Then her nightmares would finally...

come to a stop.

She walks closer to him,

But she was fighting the urge,

To stab this narcissistic Prince.