Chapter 020

⚠️Warning, this episodes contains,⚠️ depression,  self harm,  self hate, and content that may be not suited for everyone, readers discretion is advised...

Midoriya's POV

I open my eyes, my body hurts, everything hurts, am I dying? I look at my right and see Kacchan, he's asleep. My heart is pounding, but I can't feel anything, I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to kill the basterds who took me... and... killed my child. As soft sobs finally come out of my mouth, Kacchan sits up. His eyes are red and puffy, he looks like he hasn't slept in days.

"Izu... Your finaly back. I was so worried... How are you feeling?" He says with a cracked tired voice.

He almost sounded like mister aizawa and allmight mixed together.

"I feel... nothing. I dont feel anything." I said.

Kacchan just looked down, tears threatening to jump out. He sniffs and looks at me with pure pain.

"Midoriya. You've been in a coma for 2 months now. We're now in feburary... Do you remember what happened?" He says, almost as monotone as Todoroki.

I'm in complete shock, two whole months passed, and did he just call me Midoriya... I look down at my now very thin belly due to malnutrition. And then, that's when my brain started to fully work again. Tears rushed down my eyes as the scene played on repeat in my head. I grab my hair and start to scream as Kacchan stands up frightened, but almost immediately rushes to calm me, it doesn't take long before the doctor's we're sedating me.

Bakugo's POV

I look as they pin him down and sedate him, I can't help but let my tears out. He's so broken now and I don't know how to fix him... The doctors leave the room that is now silent, with the small whimpers and sobs that Deku let's out as he breathes. I mean... I was ecstatic at first as well, I was almost arrested due to the fact that I tried to kill the kidnappers as they asked me to identify the murderers. I had two whole months to grieve... Even still, I can't bare the subject of our child, he didn't even get a fucking chance to breathe before his life was forcefully taken away. I sigh as I look at the now calmer Deku, it pains me to see him suffer like this. I place my hands on my head and slide my hair back trying to calm down when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up, tears leaking out my baggy eyes.

Todoroki's POV

I enter Midoriya's hospital room, I hurry as the news of him being unplugged today had came to me. When I look in the room, Midoriya was asleep, and Bakugo was... We'll I can say he was slowly dying. His eyes we're red from crying, he had bags for only sleeping one night or two a week, he was thinner due to the lack of food he was getting. And most of all he looked in pain and stressed. I walk up to him as he pulls his hair back, I try to comfort him the only way I know. I place a hand on his shoulder, making him jolt up and look at me. His face really is way worst up close, if he wasn't moving and just layed there, I'd think he was a corpse. I gently pet his hair and sit next to him, Midoriya making small whimpers here and there.

"So? How did the waking up go..." I try to say as gently as I can.

He flinches and explains me in detail how it went. I look down, Midoriya, screaming in pain like that. I don't think I could bare it the way Bakugo did... I sigh and give the pomeranian a hug, surprisingly enough, he hugged me back.

"I fucking hate you.." he mumbles in my shirt.

"Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that. Now that I'm here, go to the dorm, wash yourself, eat and then come back. I'll watch over him and call you if something happens. If he wakes up again and realizes in what state your in... It wont help." I say as he groans but then stands up.

"YOU BETTER CALL ICYHOT!" He says before kissing Deku's head and leaving.

-Small time skip-

I'm sleeping when I smell pure stress fill the room, I open my eyes to see Deku crying and shifting. He's having a nightmare. I walk up to him and wake him up, he opens his eyes, he stares straight at me, his beautiful green locks droping on his face as his emerald eyes glare at my soul.

"Todoroki are you okay?" He ask slightly worried.

"I should be the one asking you that..." I say confused.

He pets my cheek and wipes something off of them.

"But your crying..." he says trying to wipe my tears off.

I hadn't even realized that I was crying. I stop him and smile, he looks at me with a blank expression, his eyes filled with gloom and darkness. I feel pain and distress coming from his eyes, I can't blame him after what he was forced to watch. If I had a child, and it was killed then I was forced to see my mother die... I don't think I would wanna live anymore either... But he still has Bakugo and me, he can't give up yet. At least I hope he hasn't...

"Todoroki... What's you opinion on omega's..." he says in a monotone voice.

"Eh... I think they're cute and very fun to be around... Why?" I was dreading his answer.

"That's not what I think... Omega's are useless, they are too selfless to realize that most of their actions are actually selfish, they get in the way of everything until everyone suffers. They bring danger to the weak one, they bring sadness to the happy ones, they bring trouble to the peaceful ones, and they break those who are in love with them... Omega's are a curse to those around and them selves... They don't belong anywhere, they dont deserve anything but torture and disgust, I mean the sole purpose why we exist is to fuck alpha's until they're satisfi-"

A slap resonated next to me, I look up and see a now cleaner but brokenhearted Bakugo.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MIDORIYA!? I DON'T EVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY THAT SHIT EVER AGAIN YOU HEAR ME!? I FUCKING DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS SAY! YOUR MY TREASURE AND I FUCKING NEED YOU" He screamed, clearly hurt to see his mate in that state.

Midoriya touches his now red cheek and stares at his hand, he looks at me and then at Bakugo.

"Did I forget to say something else?" He says in a monotone voice.

He was like a broken record, nothing seemed to faze him anymore. I looked at Bakugo but he had already left, I turn to see Midoriya confused.

"I thought I said everything... Did I leave something out? Is that why he's upset?" He says almost like he couldn't realize what he had just said.

Bakugo's POV

A week as passed since that incident. Me and Icyhot talked and got Deku to see a psychologist a week ago. He is still in the hospital, but I was told that they had manage to bring him back his emotions and restored some self esteem into him. But that we had to keep an eye on him since he could try and hurt himself. I'm going to the hospital to bring him back to the dorm, it's now march, and I'm hoping that we can spend some time together since it's march break. As I step in the room Deku turn to look at me, I haven't seen him since I slapped him that day.

"Good afternoon Bakugo..." he says smiling, making me cringe at my name.

"Deku... I know I've been gone for a while and I slapped you... But please call me Kacchan... I can't help but miss my little puppy..." I say smiling.

Wrong choice of words...

Deku's eyes suddenly fills with tears at the word puppy, I instantly regret my words and run up to him. I pull him in my arms and pet his back as I send calming pheromones to him.

"I- I'm s-sorry Kacchan..." he says with hiccups.

"Shhh shhh shh its okay, It's my fault not yours... So? You ready to go home?" I say a bit enthusiastic.

He nods gently as I give him his clothes that I had brought him, he got dressed and came out of the bathroom. I looked at his now thin body, his muscles looked like they we're gonna pop out of his skin. I pick him up and walk to the counter as he did something I thought he never would again, he chewed on my shirt and purred. I smile as he koala hugs me as I sign the papers, I bow to the doctors and leave. We finally arrive to the dorms, everyone we're in the living room, they saw me enter and all gasped as they rushed over to us.

"OMG DEKU I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" Floaty bitch said.

"I'm glad to see your alright little dude" Shitty hair exhaled.

Sero just smiled at Deku, when someone came from the stairs and stared straight at Deku. He wanted to get close but thought it wouldn't be a good idea until Deku spoke up.

"H-hi... So... Um... How's the... Pregnancy... Going... Denki..." he says slightly sad but happy.

Dunce face was now 3 months and 1 week pregnant, the same Deku was when it all happened. He looked shocked at Deku asking about it... He knew how touchy the subject was and was now a bit nervous.

"It's... Eh... Going pretty good... I miss training thought..." he says with a light giggle.

Everyone looked at Deku to see his reaction, to our great surprise he was smiling... Not any kind of smile, he had his eyes closed and smiled brightly.



(Exactly like this one)

Everyone smiled in relief, we had believed that Deku would never be the same again, that they'd never see his signature smile again yet here it was. I smiled to myself and walked to the kitchen, I layed Deku on a chair and looked through the fridge, pulling some ingredients out.

"Kacchan what are you doing?" He says now a bit curious.

"Well obviously I'm cooking you something you havent had in over 5 months." I say smiling to myself, obviously hidding it.

"Well if it was five months ago that I didn't have it ever since, which means that I couldn't eat it before everything started which means that... Oh my god are you seriously doing what I think you're doing!?" He stops mumbling and asked.

"Yup! Your eating Katsudon!" I say now smirking at his tail wagging.

I was scared at first. But I think we will be just fine as time goes on. I hear footsteps and look behind me to see someone Deku doesn't expect to see.

"How long is it gonna take Kacchan I'm really hungry you kn-" he says before feeling arms around him.

He screams in fear as he releases his pheromones everywhere making Todoroki jump back and everyone in the common room rush to the kitchen.

"Midoriya it's just me... I'm sorry to have scared you..." he says, shocked by Deku's reaction as everyone relaxes and goes back to what they we're doing.

"N-no.. Sho... It's my fault for panicking... Um... What are you doing here?" He says curious.

"Midoriya have you forgotten? I told you I'd return to UA if you l-"

I had runned around the table to block his mouth, the last thing Deku needs is a reminder of his break down. I think he understood me because he changed subject.

"So how are you feeling about school, are you ready to train again? He says in a soft tone.

"Yeah... I miss using my quirk and training... I can't wait to do it again..." he says smiling a little.

"Alright but you need to gain your weight back first, the food is done, eat all you want there's plenty of it if you want more too." I say giving them both a bowl.

Deku all happy digs right in, Icyhot stares at me confused.

"If you don't want it just say it! No need to stare." I say angry that I even did the gesture to the ungrateful basterd.

"No no that's not it.. I just didn't expect you to do that... You know you're totally a different person when he's around I swear..." he says as he sits down and starts to eat.

"Tch... I'm the same as ever you hot cold basterd, I'll remember not to do nice things to you since you complain about it..." I say trying to hide my blushing.

"And there goes the progress... again..." he says in a monotone voice.

"Could you guys not-" Deku says as he suddenly tilts towards Icyhot who catches him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I scream as I rush over to him.

"He seems to be burning up..." he says before pinching his nose.

"I got him..." I say knowing what smell Deku is now emitting.

I run with Deku in my arms up the stairs, I open the door to our dorm and lays him on the bed where I help remove his shirt to cool down.

"Hey babe, since you didn't have any heat while in your coma, this one will be intense I'll bring my clothes over so you can nest okay?" I say in a soft, almost baby voice.

He whines and pants trying to get some fresh air, I open the window slightly, letting a fresh breeze in. The wind blows on his locks making them flutter, he suddenly relaxes and so I take that opportunity to grab my clothes... All of them. I arrive to Deku and place them all next him. I realize that he removed his pants and giggle. He moves around and builds a cute little nest, I remove my shirt, making me now in shorts and shirtless. I give it to him as he starts to chew on it. I turn around but he pulls me in the nest and snuggles on me, he soon enough falls asleep and I gently get out of his grasp, running out of the room.

"I was just about to ask if you guy needed anything..." Icyhot says looking me up and down.

"Did you do it that fast?" He ask almost worried.

"What no!? I just helped him make a nest and shit. I wouldn't ask for sex after what he's just been through dumbass!" I say insulted.

"Right... Sorry for coming to a conclusions due to the knowledge of your personality and impulsivity when it comes to rational decisions..." he says in a sarcastic manner, making me angry.

"YOU WANNA GO ICYHO-" I started saying before a hand creeped out of the dorm and pulled me in, locking the door behind me.

"D-Deku look, My rut his tomorrow... So I can't stay near you okay babe, I know you just got back and it's annoying that this is the month my rut follows your heat but please try and unders-" I said before he pulled me into a hug.

"P-please Kacchan... I just want cuddles I p-promise..." he says sobbing.

I sigh and walk him to the bed, I lay down and tap my chest, he climbs on and lays on me, he suddenly starts purring, making me smile.

"I guess this isn't so bad..." I say as I slowly drift to sleep.

_____________________________________

I get awaken as my chest burns, I look up and see a very red and panting Deku, he seems to be in alot of pain. I gently rub his back making him smile and calm a bit down. I look at the clock showing 2:36 am. Shit that's early, I pick Deku up and flip him so his back is laying on me, since I felt him hard and it made me slightly uncomfortable... I feel him calm down and softly snore, I sigh in relief and drift to sleep as well.

______________________________________

Midoriya's POV

I open my eyes, it says 6:47 am, I feel warm, too warm. I look down and see Kacchan slightly panting but asleep. I get up and wobble to the bathroom where I rinse my face with cold water... I look down at my stomach now as flat as paper, I know the child is truely gone now that my heat is here... I look down at the sink... And their words flash in my head...

How pathetic, can't even protect, useless, weak omega, burden to everyone, better off dead...

Tears fall down my cheeks, I look in the mirror... I look ugly, I am ugly, I disgust myself. How can Kacchan love me with all of theses imperfections... I'm the worst mate he could ever have... I look over to the counter and open it up, I look at the razor... I shouldn't... but I need to...

1 for being an awful friend/mate

2 for the people I couldn't save

4 for the the things I hate about myself

7 for all my imperfections

12 because I deserve it...

I look at my arms, they burn as blood slowly slips out... I feel better, but something is wrong... Why do I feel so guilty!? I look at my arms, I shouldn't have done this... He's gonna hate me hes gonna leave me... But I need him...

Bakugo's POV

I open my eyes, my body is in pre rut, at least I'm not sexually arroused yet... I look around confused as to where Deku is.. Suddenly I hear him.

"KACCHAN... I FUCKED UP... I NEED HELP PLEASE! DON'T BE MAD AT ME..." He begged from the bathroom.

I flinch... I smell blood... Dear god what did he do, please he hasn't done what I think he did. I open the door and see Deku laying in his blood with his arms cut everywhere, I gasp at the sight, tears welling as I grab the medkit. I disinfect the wounds and wrap bandages around his arms. He looks at me with a sorry expression.

"I couldn't... s-stop myself... I h-hate it... I didn't m-mean to... But it... Just happened..." He says crying and shivering.

"Shhh... It's okay, I'm not mad baby, I'm not mad... Just relax and take deep breathes okay?" I say as I slowly breathe with him.

I hold him in my arms for a while before the dorm door is kicked opened by a scared Icyhot. He looks around and sees us. His eyes widdens as he realizes what Deku just did to himself...

"Is he okay?" He asks worried as fuck.

"Yeah I think he just fell asleep too..." I say looking at him.

I pick him up and placing him on the bed, being careful of his arms...

"When did he do it!?" He asked worried.

"A couple of minutes ago... At least he didn't try to hide it... Fuck... If I had been awake... I could've stopped him... He said he didn't want to do it but lost control, would you mind getting recovery girl here so she can heal him?" I asked gently.

"Yeah okay... By the way, the blood smell reached the common room so get ready for questions..." he says before leaving.

I'll never catch a break now will I... Stupid nerd... I'm here to help you damnit. Why didn't you come to me!?

-TO BE CONTINUED