Sick

She just kissed me, when she was engaged. How could someone be so sick, to just, kiss someone, tell someone you love them, just because they say it first. It may have been a week ago, but I still think about it.

I walk in for breakfast, and Lucy is already in there. She looks horrible. What the heck. She always makes me want to help her, without even saying anything. I go to my seat, which is right beside her. She looks at me, her eyes, glassy. A little red and puffy, to be honest.

Today is the day of the sentencing. I hope Lucy just sentences them to death, but she is a merciful queen, so that's probably not going to happen.

" Everyone," Lucy stands up to address everyone in the room, which is only Cole and me, " as the two of you know, the sentencing is today." We both nod, and share a look of concern. " I would like you both to have the seats next to mine." She looks so unstable, then she almost falls, but grabs a chair arm to stabilize herself. Cole and I jump up. I walk over to help her, but she refuses, and pushes my hand away. " I'm fine. Thank you." I ache so bad just to help her.

I feel so bad about how I acted the last week. She has been keeping distant from me, obviously, but also Cole. I never meant to hurt her, but I couldn't think. Now she is ill and pushes me away. I hate this, she is so unstable, she shouldn't be the one having to lead a nation like this, especially all by herself.

After she leaves, I walk out to the gardens, I need to find a way to get her out of this. I could just go and ask her to hold off until she is better. No, she will only then be stubborn, and use the fact that the dungeons won't be secure enough to hold anyone for that long. I decide to try anyway, I might as well give it a shot even if she resists.

I walk up to her door and give it a knock. Her maid answers, and tells me that Lucy doesn't want to see anyone right now. I push my way through the door, and find Lucy sitting at her desk. " Lucy. Can we talk."

" I'm not in the mood. Thanks though." She says. Ugh just let me help you.

" Well I am, and I need you to listen. I am going to take you to the hospital wing, and then you are going to postpone the sentencing till tomorrow."

She glares at me. " that makes me look weak. And I am fine, there's no need for you to do all that work."

" Just let me help you, please."

" Please leave now." She says. What the heck. She can't appreciate my trying to help her.

" No, I love you, and I can't stand to see you like this."

" Leave now Clayton. I will see you at the sentencing. We can talk after."

" No we won't. I know what you're going to do. You're going to run off right after, with me running after you."

" Clayton. Please go."

" Fine, but promise me you will talk with me."

" Gardens. I promise." She says, and as I close the door behind me, I see Lucy lay her head down and start to cry.

. . .

The sentencing is here, and Cole and I walk first. We are seated on each side on a throne, ours being smaller and less extravagant ones. We are outside on a platform, a smaller platform, about half the size, is in front of us. Three people are lead out in chains, with two guards each. Then with three guards, Lucy walks out. She looks out at the crowds of the rich that could afford to come. The crowds cheer loudly when she walks out. Three guards accompany her and she sits.

Clayton comes on stage, and announces the names, and motions for Lucy to come and speak the sentences.

" Alexander warren, you are permanently banned from ever coming to France again. For the King and Queen, you are allowed, but only under my provisions, and I will have eyes on you both, twenty-four-seven." She takes a breath. She looks as if she is about to faint. Her hands move to grip the podium in front of her. She realizes that she needs to leave, and motions for Cole to come and conclude. As she walks by I stand and accompany her. As we go through the halls, she tells her guards to stay at the entrance.

" What did you want to talk about?" She asks, quietly

" You, what's been going on lately. I try to talk to you, and you push me away."

" What's the point of trying to get close, if it always ends up like this." She looks so pale, and her eyes, her beautiful eyes, now so glassy, and her green has lost most of the color.

" I didn't mean it."

" It doesn't mean anything anymore. Your parents have called you back home. Your brother is sick."

Oh no. I'm not prepared to lead a country by myself. My look, apparently horrified, makes Lucy laugh. I want to hear it all day, every day., " it's not that bad, nor that hard. If you ever need help, I'm here. Not that you should ever need it."