!!!TW!!! talk of aftermath of r#pe

pulling my pants back up, now stained with red metallic liquid hearing the evil say" now this is our little secret, right? we don't want anyone knowing that your a slut, do we?."

shaking my head no... the Door slaming shut behind the evil. he was so nice, why is he being so mean? I thought we were friends. everything hurts.

limping down the hall way and out the door.

6 and already wanting to die, it's my fault, if I just hadn't been curious. what the fuck is wrong with me?

why me? what did I do? it's all my fault...

running with a limp down to the park by my grandmas house up the big hill right into a tree, climbing and climbing till I reach the top. sobbing and pulling at leaves like they were my hair. the leaves now covered in tears and snot.

quietly I fall into a deep sleep.

waking with a start I realize, as time went by minutes tired into hours and hours into days blurry days filled with little to no memory and no emotions, how long had I been up here?

climbing down the tree I realize, I look weird, I'm bigger and have more hair and I'm not at the park, my dad's calling my name" come on, we have to get to grandmas for your birthday!"..... grandmas? but it isn't safe, what is going on? I was just at the park crying after..... we pull into a drive way that I recognized, the memory's suddenly plague my mind. silently I get out of the car, up the stairs into the hall.... this hall...why did I have to be like this?

later that night, the door creaks open, it's not the evil, thank goodness.

a women appears in the door way, her white sweater shiny and almost as pale as she was,, next thing I know she's holding me down,I black out. suddenly I'm in a kitchen, and a women's yelling at me, who is she? where am I? wheres my brother, where's my dad? did she hurt them? then a stinging sensation hits me in the face, tears spilling out of my eyes as I realize, this is my fate. I black out again, standing emotionless, why can't I feel anything? why is it getting dark in here again? why can't I remember...

years later and the horid memories suddenly come flushing back into my brain..... they hurt me to much.

I dont want to remember,I can't do this anymore.

I've been blocking all of them out, all the times I've felt like I was hurt or in danger.

I can't do this anymore....

my dad says I should see a therapist, he says they'll help, how does he know? I didn't tell him,did I? I can't remember, my memory is spotty....