The Epic of Calliope

Hyndla howled in the distance. Hófvarpnir trodded the land. Ratatoskr jumped between the branches of World Tree. Jörmungandr gently yawned as he got ready for his nap - as a cat. Someone who was not suppose to be there: Lamashtu, Daughter of Anu, had come to Scandinavia. The foul demoness crushed the snow beneath her feet. Her appearance made all the animals run for the hills. Lamashtu had come with one goal in mind… she intended to devour Calliope's child.

Lamashtu had made her way towards the house.

There was little light, for it seemed like the sun was hiding from demoness. Lamashtu approached the house: fangs wet with anticipation. She stopped as Christopher-Judge-looking-Kratos stood at the door opening, Imdugud in hand.

" Hmmm. "

Lamashtu was all like: NOPE! As she ran like hell back to Mesopotamia. Calliope was able to peacefully give birth to her son: Krateros. And after having recovered: she decided to pay the Land Between the Two Rivers a visit.

Ninsun Bélet-séri watched from afar as Calliope, Kratos, and Aphrodite trotted the seemingly endless desert. Lugalbanda, The Desert King - for he is married to Ninsun after all, kept an eye on them from atop a high dune. Calliope could feel the Sand Strikers moving around underneath the ground.

" IT'S GODDAMN HOT! " exclaimed Aphrodite Areia. Kratos paused, as he waited for her to catch up.

" Thanks… " said Aphrodite, gratefully, with a sweaty smile.

" Hmmm. "

" Look! " said Calliope, pointing towards the horizon. There stood the strong and tall walls of Uruk. Aphrodite couldn't be more happy. For the walls cast a vast shadow. And she was more than thrilled for some time to cool down within the shade. They approached the Ishtar Gate. The guards welcomed them… for they were expected.

The sounds. The scents, and the scenes were all welcoming and overwhelming. Kids ran about as adults were busy buying at the bustling bazaar. The streets were filled with various venues.

" Dates! Come and get your delicious dates! "

" Beard! Freshly baked beard! "

" Water! Milk! And Ebla Beer!! I have the drink to quench any thirst! "

(Aphrodite ran towards that stall)

Calliope was awe-stricken. Even Kratos couldn't help but let out a impressed:

" Hmmm. "

That was when they all saw it: The Tower-of-Babel-like-Ziggurat in the middle of it all: Gilgamesh's palace. Calliope went on ahead, as Kratos had to help Aphrodite: whose tummy was filled with all sorts of liquids… that was when some guardsmen approached the two of them.

Calliope reached the spire of the Ziggurat with no problem; for she had walked up one of these before. There he sat: Matthew-Daddario-looking-Gilgamesh on his finely decorated body- I mean! throne… Calliope noticed the angel wings. The incredible piece of armor on the right side of his body. She too could make out some tattoos on his tanned-toned-physique. Gilgamesh smiled, and Calliope had to be honest with herself… She felt some earthquakes throughout her body.

" Welcome. " said Gilgamesh with a soft and scented tone. Calliope had to snap out of it! So she tried to imagine Gilgamesh in nothing but underwear… which severely backfired.

" Th-thank you… " said Calliope, as the room's temperature had risen a few degrees; " but I would like to wait for my companions to catch up. "

" Oh? " said Gilgamesh, cheerfully; " but they are already here. "

Before Calliope could ask: what do you mean? Gilgamesh proceeded to produce Imdugud - her father's axe.

Despite the room's temperature: Calliope's temperature had dropped several degrees.

" Where did you get that? - Calliope paused for a moment - and why is it bloody? "

Gilgamesh did not answer. He just calmly threw Kratos' severed head at her feet.

" By the gods… " said Sharur. Orpheus was speechless, while Calliope was dumbstruck. Her tattoos faintly lit up, as her Fire Meter was filling up.

" Would you like his head around your hip? "

At those words… all Calliope saw… was a red mist. The people at the bazaar moved out of the way, as their king crashed-landed in the middle of it all.

" Astonishing… " said Gilgamesh, a bloody grin on his face; " haven't felt pain like this in years… "

Gilgamesh looked on as Calliope was coming towards him like a meteor strike from space. The attack landed, and it caused destruction for several miles. But Calliope didn't care… he had killed her pater!

" Enough. "

Calliope turned around, ready to attack. But Enkidu easily blocked her attack, and now lifted her up by the throat. Calliope tried to pry Enkidu's hand loose. But all Enkidu had to say was:

" Cute. "

Enkidu knocked the wind out of Calliope's sails with one punch to the gut. Calliope fell to her knees, gasping for air.

" He killed my pater… " sobbed Calliope.

" Your ada is still alive. " said Enkidu, as he/she/it helped Gilgamesh back up. Calliope turned around, hope in her eyes.

" Not that ada… " said Orpheus.

" I know… " said Calliope, as she collected herself; " but I saw the head and the blood! "

" Both are fake. " Enkidu turned to face Gilgamesh; " my husband likes to pull such 'pranks' at times. "

Enkidu gave her husband a: what-do-you-have-to-say-for-yourself-look.

Gilgamesh shrugged his shoulders, as to say:

" I was bored. "

Enkidu was in the midst of rubbing his forehead, as Calliope yelled:

" Where is my pater! "

" Pater! " yelled Calliope. She and Kratos embraced. Turns out: that Aphrodite and Kratos had both been underneath the ziggurat this whole time. Calliope had no words. She was too busy boring her head into Kratos' chest. Her tears making his shirt wet.

" Hmmm. " sounded Kratos, as he held Calliope very close to his heart. Turns out: that he and Aphrodite were both ambushed and taken prisoner by Enkidu and the guardsmen. Kratos' Fire Meter rose as he glared at Gilgamesh.

" Hmmm. "

Enkidu stepped between them.

" I know that it won't count for much… but you have my humblest apology. "

Kratos looked back at Gilgamesh… who was just smiling. As much as Aphrodite would have loved to see Kratos and Gilgamesh square off - as would many fans - she decided that it would be best for everyone involved: to put all this behind them.

So let us try this one more time.

(Ahem)

Calliope, Kratos, Aphrodite, Enkidu, and Gilgamesh were all sitting down to enjoy a meal. For nothing brokers peace better: than the breaking of bread. Calliope was rather enjoying herself. Kratos was happy to see that she was in better spirits. He also noticed that Calliope had finished her potion of meat. She always made a 'Mmmm' sound whenever she partook of the meat. Kratos quickly put all his pieces of meat in Calliope's bowl, when she wasn't looking. Calliope looked back at her bowl, and noticed the meat. She looked at Gilgamesh and Enkidu, but both shook their heads. She then looked at Aphrodite: who just shrugged. Finally: she looked at her pater. But Kratos wasn't looking at her. He just kept on eating. Calliope smiled, and then lightly tapped her pater with her albow.

" Hmmm. "

" I'm home! " exclaimed Ur-Nungal, son of Enkidu and Gilgamesh. The tanned and tall teenager stood still for a moment. He had caught sight of Calliope.

" Exquisite. "

Calliope looked on with a horrified look, as Ur-Nungal pretty much crawled towards her. Eyes locked with hers.

" What a firm grip! " yelled Nungal, as Kratos held his face.

" Hmmm. Hmp! "

Kratos froze as Enkidu held the tip of a spear to his throat.

" Kindly let go of my son. " said Enkidu with enough ice to freeze the room. Kratos gently let go, for he was brave enough to face gods, but clever enough to stay far away from mothers.

" Sorry but before. " said Enkidu, as he had shown them to their rooms.

" Hmmm. '' sounded Calliope, as she truly channeled her pater in that moment.

" Hmmm. " nodded Kratos in approval.

" So the prince is your adopted son? " said Calliope, wishing to change topics.

Enkidu simply smiled, as she said:

" He is my son. "

" Adopted? "

" Biological. "

Calliope blinked twice in confusion and surprise.

" But… you're a man… "

" I can take on the functions of a woman. "

Calliope blinked twice once more.

" Is no different from the time your grandfather gave birth to both Athena and Dionysus. " said Aphrodite. Calliope simply responded with:

" My what did what? "

She looked at Kratos, who then nodded. Apple's loading icon was clearly visible on Calliope's forehead.

" So he is addicted to sex? " said Aphrodite.

Enkidu narrowed his eyes at her.

" What makes you say that? "

" Oh. " said Aphrodite with glee; " a Goddess of Fertility knows. "

Enkidu inhaled and then exhaled.

" He is not addicted. "

Aphrodite raised an eyebrow with a smile.

" He's relapsing a little, yes, but he is not addicted! "

" Whatever you say. " said Aphrodite with a smile; " but clearly: his gaze...(ahem)...lower friend has caught sight of… Calliope. "

Kratos' Fire Meter immediately rose to nuclear level!

" He won't. " said Enkidu, calmingly; " I won't let him. "

Kratos seemed to calm down.

Calliope was in bed, slowly waking up. She opened her eyes to see Ur-Nungal before her.

" Morning. " said the Prince with a smile. Nothing had happened. Nungal was simply where he was not wanted. Calliope returned his smile. She then filled her lungs with air, and then yelled:

" PATER!!! "

Running steps echoed throughout the ziggurat.

" You have about ten seconds left to live. "

Nungal looked at the smiling Calliope, he then looked upon the fast-breathing-from-all-the-running Kratos standing at the door.

" Hmmm. "

Kratos threw the Prince through the wall. Nungal flew through the garden's ground, till he landed before Enkidu.

" Morning, Ama. "

" Morning, sweety… "

It was rather late, for the sun could be seen setting in the distance. Enkidu and Nungal were sitting within the garden atop the ziggurat. Enkidu was reclining on a queenly settee - for thus was his rank; while Nungal was on the ground: his arms around his legs, while his chin was on his knees. The two of them looked on; as the setting sun bathed the land in a magnificent glow.

" Honey, " said Enkidu gently, as his voice very much resembled that of Alex McKenna. His looks too was that of a tanned and black haired Alex McKenna; " what upsets you so? "

Nungal was quiet, but Enkidu knew what was up.

" Is it her? "

Nungal remained quiet.

" I knew that there was a cause to all that... humping. "

" Mother… "

" Very much like your father, before he met me. He too left no virgin to her lover. "

" Mother, please… "

" Like father, like son, is all I can say. "

Nungal's forehead landed on his knees.

Enkidu smiled triumphantly.

" Now, " she said; " which 'she' are we talking about? "

Nungal looked towards the horizon. The sun was gone, and the moon was now slowly rising.

" The netherworld she. "

" Ah. " said Enkidu; " Ereshkigal's daughter… "

Nungal had a dear friend while growing up:

Manungal, daughter of Ereshkigal. The two of them were inseparable. Truly a second Gilgamesh and Enkidu pair… which is why, unsurprisingly… The two of them fell in love. But Ereshkigal would have none of it. So she forebide her daughter from ever seeing Ur-Nungal again. The Prince was distraught… so he sought the company of other women(and sometimes men) but none of them were his love… Merely distractions from his pain and longing.

" I miss her… " said the Prince, as a tear became visible on his cheek. Enkidu's heart cried out for her son… But her hands were tied. There was nothing she could do. He had tried to talk with Ereshkigal. But the Queen of the Great Below had not even allowed Enkidu through the First Gate of the Netherworld. Enkidu wrapped his arms around her son's neck.

" I will talk with your father. Maybe there is a way. "

" No way. " said Gilgamesh.

" You must! " said Enkidu, appealingly; " for his sake! "

Gilgamesh looked unmoved from atop his throne. Enkidu was asking him to get in contact with Ereshkigal, to come to an agreement. But the King of Uruk was not on the bestest of terms with the Queen of the Great Below. Considering that Gilgamesh had not only killed Gugalanna, but he too had humiliated Inanna. Ereshkigal may not show it; but she loved her sister dearly.

" We will find another for him to marry. "

" There is no other! " said Enkidu, stamping his foot on the floor. Gilgamesh sighed.

" Of all the goddesses in Mesopotamia… our son has to fall in love with her… "

Enkidu smiled, as Gilgamesh was about to give way. Nungal entered the throne room, looking a little distraught.

" Say something! " whispered Enkidu.

" Like what? "

Enkidu paused, then said;

" Something fatherly! "

Gilgamesh paused for a moment, and then said;

" Boy. "

Nungal raised his head towards his father, while Enkidu proudly looked on.

" Man the fuck up. "

Enkidu facepalmed, while Nungal merely nodded.

" Did that help? " said Gilgamesh, clueless.

Enkidu just looked at him. He then sighed deeply, and then ran after her son.

" Honey! Honey! "

Enkidu was finally able to catch up with Nungal.

" Don't let him bother you. " said Enkidu, who was pretty much solo parenting.

There was a pause.

" Maybe he is right… "

A worried look befell Enkidu, and before Nungal could finish: Enkidu quickly said;

" Your father is many things, but he is rarely right. "

Some hope finally became visible within Nungal's eyes.

" Really? " he asked.

" Yeah. " said Enkidu, without hesitation.

" What's going on? " asked Calliope, stepping into the hall.

Nungal hugged her, not able to contain his joy.

Kratos saw it happen, and almost smote Nungal. But Aphrodite quickly intervened: averting a greater drama.

Calliope walked down the steps of the ziggurat, as she did so: she noticed a hooded woman behind her.

" Strange. " said Calliope, as the woman walked out of view. That was when a fresh breeze met her instead. It was a new day, and there were new things to do. Calliope tried wrestling with the soldiers. She won. She tried boxing with the kids. She let them win. She then played some Royal Game of Ur with the old and wise. It usually ended in a draw or defeat… the old men would lose.

" May I? "

Calliope looked upon the hooded woman.

" Sure. "

The woman sat down, and the two of them could now be seen playing. Calliope would look up at times: trying to get a glimpse of the woman's face. From what Calliope could see: the woman was unusual looking. Not that she was monstrous or hideous. But in the Land of the Black-Headed People, the woman was blonde. And instead of tanned skin, she was pale. Calliope finally got a glimpse of her eyes… They were blue. Like Gilgamesh's.

" You are not from here. " said Calliope, as she moved her piece. The woman smiled.

" But I am. " said the woman, as she rolled the dice; " I'm from Kutha. "

Calliope did not know what that meant, so she continued:

" I did not mean to be rude. "

" Why would it be rude to ask a stranger where they are from, instead of asking their name first. "

Calliope met the woman's eyes.

" Sorry. I'm Calliope. "

The woman seemed to hesitate.

" Manungal. "

" Like the Prince? "

The woman seemed startled by Calliope's words.

" Sorry. " said Calliope, noticing her freit; " your name sounds like the prince's name: Ur-Nungal. "

A solemn smile befell the woman.

" Indeed... " said she with a solemn tone.

Calliope looked at her.

" Do you know him? "

" No. " said the woman rather quickly, as she took Calliope's piece. Calliope could see that something was up. But she did not pry any further. They finished their game and Calliope had lost.

" I really must be going. " said Manungal, looking like she was in a hurry. She turned to leave, but she seemed to hesitate for a moment.

" Considering that I won… would you be willing to do me a small favor? "

Calliope giggled.

" Sure. "

Manungal held out a puck and a stick.

" Please, " she said; " give these to the Prince. "

Calliope accepted the pukku and mekkû.

" But… I thought you said: that you did not know him? "

Manungal seemed to ignore her question, for she simply said:

" And please tell him… that I still love him… "

Manungal ran off, before Calliope could question her further.

Calliope was now approaching Ur-Nungal within the hallway of the palace.

" Hey. "

" What's up? " said Nungal, pleased to see her.

" Someone wanted you to have these. " said Calliope, holding out the puck and the stick.

Ur-Nungal's eyes widened at their sight. With shaking hands, he accepted the pukku and mekkû.

" I do not mean to pry… but did you know her- "

Calliope stopped herself, as Ur-Nungal was crying. His words now echoed throughout the palace:

" Where is she? Did you see her?! "

Nungal was standing before his father. It was truly like a pebble before a mountain.

" I am going. "

Calliope had told the Prince what had happened, and Nungal now intended to go to the underworld.

The God with the Golden Hand beheld his child. Gilgamesh was both proud and annoyed. His son presumed too much.

" I won't allow it. "

Enkidu was there as well, and he could sense the tension rising.

" With all due respect, father: I did not come here to ask permission. "

Gilgamesh showed surprise, while trying to hide the fact that he was proud. But he had to keep pushing. He knew that his boy had it within him. He was his son after all. Gilgamesh rose from his throne. Ur-Nungal pretty much held his breath as his father approached. Enkidu clasped his hands together, and then said a silent prayer:

" You got this, sweety. "

Gilgamesh cast a vast shadow over his son, as he towered over him. Nungal had prepared himself for this moment… but when it came to it… he could not look his father in the eyes.

" You dare disobey me, boy? "

Nungal knew that this was it, so he summoned forth all his courage. He clenched both his fists and butt. He first met Gilgamesh's gaze. He then said shakingly:

" Ada, I dare. "

All was quiet, only the throbbing hearts could be heard. Gilgamesh then finally smiled.

" That's my boy. "

It took a few days, but Calliope and Nungal were finally at Kutha. Nungal knew where the entrance to the underworld was, for his father had told him of it. Getting to Kur was easy… getting back: well… That's another matter entirely.

They were standing before the entrance, as Nungal said:

" Here we go… "

He tried to be brave… but he was also very scared. Who knew what horrors Ereshkigal would bring down upon them. Calliope looked over the bridge; where she beheld the acid sea made from Abzû's remains. She beheld colossal Kur in the distance. For Kur was both a place and a dragon.

They were now at the first gate.

" Neti, Head Netherworld-Gatekeeper! " yelled Nungal; " open up! "

A voice came forth from the other side:

" Who are you? "

" Ur-Nungal, son of Enkidu and Gilgamesh. "

" And the other one? "

" Calliope, daughter of Lysandra and Kratos. " said Calliope, introducing herself.

Neti was quiet, as if waiting for his orders. The gate then opened up, whereupon Calliope and Ur-Nungal drew forth their weapons. For Bibbu, Slaughterer of the Netherworld, was standing before them. The hulking, monstrous creature just glared down at them. He then stepped aside.

" Looks like Ereshkigal wants to deal with us personally. " said Calliope. Ur-Nungal thought the same… for they were not asked to discard a piece of clothing. They arrived at the Second Gate, where they were met with Lugalsula. Things continued so, till they finally reached: Urugal - The Great City. Calliope and Ur-Nungal walked up the steps of the Ganzir ziggurat, till they stood before Ereshkigal-May-Calamawy. The Queen of the Great Below had Grond, her battlestaff in hand. She had a Lyre Bull head on her chest. And her most noteworthy feature of all… were her red wings.

" Prince of Uruk. "

" Queen of the Great Below… where is Manungal?"

" Getting right down to it, I see? " Ereshkigal grew serious; " leave. She is not coming with you. "

Calliope looked on, as Kur made himself known from atop the ziggurat. The Dark Dragon growled, but Nungal did not look deterred. For love has been known to make a man blind to danger, and brave in action.

" Where is she? I only wish to talk- "

" Nungal? "

There she was, the love of his life. Nungal cried… for he had not seen her in years.

" Šamaḫ(beautiful one)... "

The two of them embraced, to the point: where they were pretty much crushing the air out of their lungs. Calliope smiled, while Ereshkigal did not look amused.

" Enough. " said the Queen of the Netherworld, her command echoing throughout her realm.

Calliope was prepared for a fight, and so was Nungal, but just like with Nungal: Manungal had to stand up for herself.

" Ama. " said Manungal, a bit shakingly; " I am leaving. "

" I won't allow it. "

" I did not say that I was leaving forever. "

Ereshkigal looked surprised by her words. For the Queen truly only feared one thing… She feared that she would never ever see her child again.

" Will you return? "

Manungal smiled.

" Of course. I will visit every now and then. You're my ama, and I love you. "

Those words truly seemed to hit the mark. For Ereshkigal seemed to soften up.

" Very well… I wish you both all the best. "

Manungal hugged her mother goodbye. She patted Kur as well, and together with Calliope: they all left Kur-nu-gi-a(land-of-no-return).

Second to do so since Prince Kummaya, when he begat Kubaba with Ereshkigal.

Happy days went by in Uruk. Till Calliope decided to return to Scandinavia: to check up on her son. Aphrodite decided to return to Olympus: to check up on her sons. And to everyone's surprise: Kratos decided to travel with Aphrodite. And when asked why he would do so, he merely replied with:

" Hmmm. "