Ch 39 The Feelings of Guilt and Bliss

"Okay. All done. Jussst don't exsssert yourssself. If there isss any more bleeding, get sssomeone to change the bandage."

I heard Llamar's voice. I began to realize that my head was on a firm, soft surface.

"Thank you."

'Sophie?'

I opened my eyes. The vision before me was the long dark dungeon with barred cells on both sides. Most of it looked no different from the last time I saw it. The only difference was at the far end. I could see light coming from the top of the stairs. I lifted my head. I was lying on the same bed as Sophie. I don't remember getting here or falling asleep.

I browsed to my left. Llamar was getting rid of Sophie's old bandage. Sophie was lowering her shirt down herself, covering up her new bandage. As much as she could anyway, considering the large opening in her shirt at the site of her wound.

"How are you feeling, Sophie?"

"Good morning, Lake."

She showed me a smile with good energy. I felt happy.

"I feel better. It's still sore, though."

I helped her off of the bed. She seemed to be walking fine. I approached Llamar. He noticed my presence.

"Mossst are not brave enough to approach."

He turned his head away from his work to glance at me from the side.

"I just wanted to say, thanks again."

I held out my hand. He looked at it as though it were a foreign object. He eventually turned around and grabbed my hand. We shook.

"You are a unique one."

There is that word again. Not that it bothers me.

"Yeah. Many have used that same word to describe me. Maybe I should make that my official title. Lake, the Unique."

"Hmm..."

Was the only sound that he made. He went back to his work and I went back to Sophie. We made our way toward the exit.

I glanced into the cage with the kitsune. The mother was still nowhere to be seen. I could no longer see the one that kissed me last night, either. Maybe she was huddled up with the others, out of sight.

We made our way to the top of the stairs. We saw no guards in the immediate area. Unsure of where to go, I decided to take the path to the left. We began hearing voices. We drew closer. The voices were more pronounced.

"The Orc slave says that this one attacked someone last night. And that she even stole food from the one she attacked."

I began to quicken my pace. I heard a voice that had no real words attached to it. Like someone who is trying to speak but could not remember words.

"This is unfortunate. We must put this one down for her crime. We can't risk letting her attack the King if he were to ever select her."

I was moving faster. I turned into a doorway on my right. It was empty.

"Prepare her."

I heard the voice again.

I looked to the top left of the empty room. There was an opening between rooms. I must have been hearing them through that opening. They must be in the next room

I began to run.

"What is it, Lake?"

Sophie asked.

I felt that hurrying was more important than answering Sophie at the moment. I made it to the next doorway.

I saw her. The kitsune that kissed me last night. She was struggling. Her hands and feet were in stocks. Her head was locked into a similar wooden device. She was thrashing about for a moment before she saw me.

She immediately calmed down.

She looked at me with the most brilliant and wonderful smile.

A guillotine was brought down.

It was over.

I backed away from the doorway. I pressed my back against the wall around the corner. Sophie approached. I stopped her from going any further.

"Let's go the other way. Nothing in there for us."

My heart...

Every time I replayed that scene in my head, my heart broke all over again.

"Are you okay? What happened back there? You seem like you have been in a daze since we turned around."

"It..."

She placed a hand on my shoulder.

"It was..."

Should I tell her? What benefit comes from me telling her that I witnessed an execution. One that would never have happened if I had just stayed with Sophie last night. Someone died because I wanted to be nice. To show kindness to someone.

No. I could feel my sorrow ebbing on the edge. If I tell her now... If I say it out loud...

"There were some guards talking. Don't worry about it."

I showed her a smile. I couldn't tell if she saw through it or not.

We found a guard at the end of the hall. I explained the situation and he happily led us out of the castle. Wab and Riksa were waiting for us.

"Sophie!? Are you okay?"

Riksa called out.

They met and embraced each other.

"Ow, ow, ow."

"Oh! I'm sorry. It still hurts?"

"Yeah. It's much better than yesterday, though."

The girls continued to talk. Wab came to me.

"Have you met the King?"

The thought was a sour one.

"No. I got Sophie patched up by Llamar and we left."

"Llamar? The snake doctor? He is not known for being friendly... ever."

"He wasn't exactly friendly. He ate one of our escorts. He knew not to fuck with me when I told him about the potion."

Wab had a serious look.

"Telling him might not have been a good idea. He is a scientist before a doctor. Did he ask you for blood or anything?"

"No."

"That's good. Come, you should meet the King."

"Wab. Do we absolutely have to? Can I 'not' see the Guru, without talking to the King, first?"

"Well, you don't need the King's permission. Why are you..."

"I might accidentally kill the King if I have to meet him."

Wab was visibly taken aback. I was still upset at the King's slave collection and what happened to that kitsune.

"What is it, Wab?"

Riksa asked. She and Sophie were now with us.

"Uh... nothing. I uh... well... let's go ahead and move on."

"Something is weird with him."

Riksa remarked to Sophie.

We all followed. I stayed with Sophie to make sure she was doing okay. She did slow down halfway through the day. Riksa lifted Sophie up on her shoulders. They had some fun together.

We managed to find the last village before the mountains, Omera. It was already late. We decided to get rest before attempting to continue.

There was an inn that had rooms with two beds. We took two rooms for the night. Wab carried the, now sleeping Sophie, into one bedroom and put her on a bed. He was tired from carrying Sophie more than Riksa. He took the other bed in the same room.

That left Riksa and me in the next room. She took the bed farthest from the door. I didn't even try to take any clothes off. I just fell backward onto the bed with the intention of resting.

"Is something wrong?"

Riksa was even catching on to my dreary mood.

"You were quiet today. Wab told me, that you might have a very low impression of the King."

I kept silent. Maybe she would think I was asleep.

"I can't say that I personally know the King. I can't properly defend him for anything that you saw or were victim to. I think that you should see him for yourself. You don't have to do it now. Just... someday. Get it off your chest. Tell him face to face your impression of him and why. You might feel better if you do."

She wasn't wrong. I could tell she just wanted to help. She really does have a good heart.

I turned my head to her. I looked at her. She was on her side, facing me. Her covers only pulled halfway up.

When our eyes met, she let out a smile. She made my heart beat just a little bit faster. A much better feeling than this morning.

"You can tell me anything."

I felt like I could. I didn't want to tell her about the sight I had to endure. At least, not right now.

"I... I want to, but..."

I let out a sigh and lowered my eyes.

"Was it something painful?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

I rolled back until I was face up again. I watched the ceiling. The single, lit candle on the table between our beds made the ceiling dance with light. When my lids got heavy, I closed my eyes.

I was trying my best to either sleep or not remember this morning. I must have been trying hard. I didn't realize that I was surrounded until I tried to move my head to get comfortable.

I opened my eyes. All I could see was Riksa's belly and chest. From the VERY bottom, up. Her thighs locked my head in place.

"If... you need something to keep your mind off of... whatever happened..."

I knew exactly what she was insinuating. Honestly, I needed some kind of distraction. No. That was a lie. I 'wanted' a distraction. She was perfect for it.

She revealed her secret spot. I began to work on her with my mouth. She was enjoying it greatly. I had no time to think of the images while I was concentrating on making Riksa feel good. While this kept the imagery away, my thoughts could still wander.

I began thinking of Riksa.

'She didn't deserve the treatment she got from her people. I feel so bad for her. She is always so kind. She showed more care for Sophie and me than anyone else in this place. I feel like I could trust her with my life. She already showed me that I could trust her with Sophie's life.'

'She has no idea how much I appreciate her. How much I lo..'

I stopped what I was doing with Riksa.

"Something wrong?"

"I just... thought of something. I'll tell you later."

I resumed my efforts for her.

'I almost thought it. I know what I was about to say in my head. I heard Sophie start to say it that one time. I acknowledged her for it. We admitted to each other that we love each other. If I was about to say it about Riksa, then maybe I really do love her, too. I want to tell her. I also want Sophie to know. I don't want to keep this hidden from either of them. It can get awkward sometimes. If it's out in the open, then...'

'What If one of them rejects this idea? What if they both reject me for this idea? I would never have considered this situation on Earth.'

'Should I? How? When?'

I began to lose focus. I wanted Riksa satisfied. I dropped my thoughts and made sure to finish Riksa off properly.

She seemed very satisfied.

We found ourselves under the same covers. I was the little spoon again. That was fine by me. I loved this connection with her. I smiled, realizing that, I thought about love and Riksa again.

The last thing I remembered before I went to sleep, was Riksa kissing my head.

I awoke, still in Riksa's arms. I grasped her hand. She squeezed. I rotated in place to find us face to face. We just looked at each other for a while. An occasional smile or peck on the cheek.

We both heard Wab say something loud in the room next to us. We heard his door open and close.

"He's probably off to try and find the one who will grant you an audience with the Guru."

"I wonder if Sophie is awake."

"Let's check."

As we got out of the covers. I discovered that I needed to find my clothes.

"I thought I went to bed with clothes on?"

"They get scratchy against my soft scales."

"I suppose that's an okay excuse. As long as it's you, I can live with it."

She giggled. We both got dressed and went next door. Sophie was already awake and sitting up in bed.

"How are you feeling? Does your bandage need changing?"

She shook her head.

"I'm fine."

"Good, I'm glad."

I kissed her on the forehead. I backed away and sat on Wab's bed. Riksa sat next to me. I think she was curious as to why I was looking at Sophie in a loving way.

"I uh... I have some things to say. I didn't want to bring this first subject up, so early. I just feel like I have to get this off of my chest, though."

I repositioned myself on the bed. Not that my effort actually placed me in a different position.

"The night before yesterday, Sophie and I were in a dungeon. That is where the doctor was. It was also the place where the King kept, as far as I know, most of his slaves. After Sophie fell asleep, I wanted to see the different races that were in there. I found these... half-human half-fox women."

"Kitsune."

Sophie corrected me.

"Yeah, that is what I thought. I had no idea if it would be a different name here. One of them was weak. She couldn't speak. She was in horrible shape. I didn't want to leave her alone in that condition. I wanted to give her some water and food from Sophie's pack."

Riksa put a hand on my shoulder and Sophie showed a smile.

"Before she could realize my intentions, she grabbed me with her claws. She drew blood, but It didn't bother me. I still gave her the water and food. She was so thankful that she kissed me."

Sophie seemed a little bothered by it.

"Did she kiss you on the lips?"

She asked.

"I was off-balance, my face was between the bars before I knew what happened and she planted one on me."

She stared me down.

"Y... yes, it was on the lips."

I scratched the back of my neck. It was hard to look at her.

"Thank you, for being honest. I'm still a little mad at you, though..."

Sophie switched beds to sit at my right side. Riksa, not one to be shown up by Sophie, decided to get as close to my left side as possible.

Sophie took my right hand into both of hers.

"Well. When we were leaving that morning. Do you remember hearing those voices?"

She nodded.

"Mmm-Hmm"

"They were talking about a slave that attacked someone and stole food the night before. One of the other slaves saw what I did and twisted the truth to gain favor with her Master. At least, I am assuming that's why she did it. In that room, I saw the girl who kissed me. She was like a wild beast."

I swallowed, as I knew what was coming.

"When she saw me in that room, she calmed and smiled. It was such a bright smile."

I brought my hands to my face to cover it.

"That moment she smiled at me... The guards beheaded her."

"Oh no..."

I heard Sophie's voice tremble. Riksa made no sounds. She just rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me.

"It was my fault. If I had just stayed next to you, Sophie. She would probably still be alive. I got her killed."

"Oh, Lake..."

Riksa spoke as she released me from her hug.

Sophie pulled one of my hands away from my face. A tear was devouring my cheek as it streamed down from my eye. Riksa had never seen this. She became concerned.

"What is happening? Why is your cheek bleeding?"

She began to reach out. I quickly grabbed her hand. Her face told me that she was hurt by my action. Maybe she thought I didn't trust her near my face. She just didn't know.

"You can't touch them. My tears. The potion's power. My tears disintegrate anything they touch. If I allow myself to be consumed by the feelings of sorrow, everything around me begins to disintegrate. Myself included. These tears are proof."

I lifted up a finger and wiped the most recent tear that began to stream down. A pea-sized hole was eaten out of the area the tear touched. My finger bled a little. We all watched as the healing began to take over.

"I only stopped you, to protect you. That's all."

I gave her a smile through the pain I felt in my heart.

"Maybe the fact that you interacted with her is why she is dead."

"SOPHIE!"

Riksa shouted.

"Listen. Maybe it 'is' your fault, but she was living a horrible life as it was. What If you had never interacted with her? What If she lived a long miserable life without a single genuine smile. What if... What if that last smile that she showed you, was her absolute last chance to genuinely have a happy feeling? Maybe you were the last shining light in her life. You showed her that kindness and showed her that her life was worth meeting you."

Sophie's eyes began to well up.

"That's how I felt... before you came into my life."

I turned to her and hugged her.

"I never thought... *sniffle*... I never thought I could smile again. You changed that in less than a day. Maybe you were just as important to her. Don't remember why or how she died. Just remember that smile. Remember it as a 'thank you.' Every time I smile at you, It's because I am thankful for you."

"Oh, Sophie."

I hugged her head into my chest and kissed her hair a couple of times.

"I never thought anyone would talk to me like a normal individual."

Riksa began.

"I thought I would be doomed to loneliness and solitude for the rest of my life. Wab treats me like a regular sister. Like I am an annoying sister he wants to go away. That's about as normal as my life got. Until you, Lake. At first, I felt like I was bothering you. Like I was a burden. But you never told me to go away. You never called me names."

She popped a smile and chuckled lightly.

"Except when you called me weird. I was happy when you said that you liked me that way. You treated me like an equal. A superior in some respects. You stood up for me. I am thankful that you could see me, for me. That you don't see the familial defects that my kind does. You only see the girl named, Riksa."

She swallowed. She was nervous now.

"I... L... I love you... Lake..."

I felt Sophie twitch in my arms. Was she shocked at Riksa's confession? Riksa's face was pure terror, waiting for my response.

"Honestly, that was the other subject I wanted to talk to you both about."

The lack of an answer was probably wracking Riksa's brain. Her heart was probably pounding through her chest. I took her hand with my left. I pulled away from Sophie's hug and took her hand with my right.

"Sophie. You are so sweet. You show more care about me than yourself. Even if I am immortal. You are always so determined to help me and stay with me. You don't seem to have the same prejudices that other elves do. You seem to get along with anyone that I do. I love that I can be friends with almost anyone and you are right there along with me. I love your positive attitude and... I love you."

She stood up. Her eyes were sparkling and she had a wonderful smile. She leaned in for a kiss. Her soft lips started my heart into overdrive, just like the other times. This only reaffirmed that my love for her must be true.

I felt Riksa's hand pull away from mine. I cut the kiss with Sophie, short.

"I'll leav..."

I grabbed Riksa's hand again.

"I'm not done with you."

I stood up and got close enough to feel her breath on my face. Her height forced me to look up.

"You are impulsive. You only think about fun. You fight like you are possessed by a demon. You never get tired of talking and you constantly think about sex."

Her expression changed from curiosity to a lost cause.

"Don't... EVER... change..."

She looked into my eyes for some kind of an answer.

"You're impulsiveness is fun, most of the time. You seem to have more fun around Sophie and me. I love seeing that. It's like you are sisters. I know that I can trust you with Sophie's life. If I was ever incapacitated or unavailable, I would not ever have to worry about Sophie if you are with her. I love hearing your voice. Lastly, If two people are in love, they should think about sex. It's natural. After all..."

I put my hand on her cheek and lifted my chin up high enough to kiss her. My heart was racing again. When I pulled away, I could see her eyes were wanting more.

"I love you, too."

I sat back down next to Sophie. I was going to pull Riksa's hand until she came over and sat next to me. She sat in my lap instead. I smiled at her.

"That brings me to the last thing I wanted to talk about. I love both of you. When I kiss you..."

I looked at Riksa and squeezed her hand.

"Or you..."

I brought Sophie's hand to my lips and kissed it.

"My heart begins to race. I've only had that with one other person. She is gone now. I still love her. It still hurts to think about her. I won't forget her. And... I don't think she would want me to hold myself back."

"I love both of you. I can't deny it. I want to know your thoughts about that. I want to know how you both feel. About me and about the other girl. I want to know If one or both of you would prefer a monogamous relationship or if a polyamorous relationship would be... acceptable?"

I began to worry about the outcome of this scenario. They haven't said anything bad so far. Nor good.

"What is monogamous?"

Sophie asked.

"What is Polyamorous?"

Riksa asked.

"Ah..."

I forgot. Not all terms are known here.

"Monogamous is when two people love each other and never allow a third person into the relationship. Polyamorous is when three or more people can be in a relationship with each other. Such as one man with two or three wives. Or one woman with three husbands. It is up to the people in the relationship to figure out what is okay and what is not when it comes to the number of people and genders involved."

"I don't get it."

Sophie started.

"There are plenty of elf men with multiple wives. Technically, I am your slave. If you want many wives, I don't really have a say."

"I don't care if you 'are' technically my slave. I want to know how you feel. I want to treat you as an equal and I want you to feel comfortable. I will listen to anything you have to say."

"I also want to know what you think, Riksa. I don't want someone to feel left out. I don't want to pressure you into any kind of relationship that you don't want."

"Well, the lizard-people do get married on occasion. That doesn't stop them from sharing beds with others. For me, as long as you still love me and give me attention, I would be okay with you having as many wives as you want."

"What about you, Sophie?"

"Well, as a slave, I..."

"I told you, I don't want a slave's opinion. I want your opinion. Pretend you are not a slave. What do you want."

She looked surprised. She began to twiddle her thumbs.

"I want you... I want you all to myself... but... If Riksa feels the same way that I do then, I don't want to deny her the love that you two also share. I'm not saying this for you, Lake. I am saying this for Riksa. This is what I want. It's like you said, we are like sisters. I care about her too."

Riksa leaped forward at Sophie. She hugged Sophie and they both rolled off the bed and hit the ground.

"Ow... That hurt."

"Sophie! Your wound, I'm sorry. I forgot."

I helped Sophie stand up. I examined the bandage.

"There doesn't seem to be any leaks. I think you're still fine."

She sat back on the bed. Riksa was still on her knees. She brought her elbows up to my legs and propped her head upon her hands. She had a stupid grin on her face.

"Let's get married tomorrow. All three of us."

I hadn't thought that far ahead. I never expected that response so soon.

Her tail was wagging back and forth. It reminded me of an excited dog.

"How do your marriage ceremonies work? For the Panthers, they have a name that they only tell to their spouse. How does it work for elves and lizards?"

"The elves usually have an elegant ceremony with thousands of flowers and at least one Elder to solidify the marriage. That is how Rahmik did it. We don't need something so large, though."

Sophie said.

"Just make a promise to each other. If the promise is broken, the marriage is over. That's how my people do it. Simple."

Riksa informed us.

"I like that. Let's do that, Lake!"

"If that's all we are gonna do, how about right now?"

Riksa's stupid grin became pure excitement. She was definitely on board.

"O... okay."

Sophie blushed as she said it.

"How about we add an Earth twist to it. On Earth, some people would make promises while holding their pinky fingers."

"I LOVE IT!"

"I like that, too."

The two girls stood and attached their pinkies first. Sophie latched onto my right pinky and Riksa on my left.

Riksa was too excited. She wanted to go first.

"I, Riksa, promise to love you, Lake, for as long as my heart pumps blood. I, Riksa, also promise to keep you, Sophie, as safe as I would keep a little sister until my life is forfeit."

I leaned over to Riksa.

"I know that it's rude to ask a lady but, how old are you?"

"78."

"Sophie is older..."

I whispered to her.

She stared at Sophie with intensity.

"HOW?!"

"I am an elf. We live a long time. We grow up a bit slower than others. My turn!"

She adjusted her position and closed her eyes.

"I, Sophie, promise to love and be by your side, Lake, in body or spirit for so long as I take breath.

I Sophie, also promise to annoy..."

"Hey!"

Riksa interrupted.

"SHHH! Promise to Love and-sometimes-annoy, my big sister, Riksa, until we are both dead."

Riksa was a bit disappointed with Sophie's promise to her.

"Really?"

"Too late. My promise to you is made."

Riksa sighed and lowered her head in defeat.

"Go, Lake!"

"Yeah! Your turn!"

I smiled at them both.

"I, Lake, promise to love you both, Sophie and Riksa, Riksa and Sophie, with all my heart, forever and until the end of time itself."

All three of us hugged. Goby hopped up onto Sophie's shoulder and yipped a couple of times.

I thought I heard something.

"I think he is trying to say that, he promises to protect us all, too. I promise to keep looking after you too, little guy."

"Me too."

"And me!"

The girls both agreed. I noticed something unfamiliar.

"When did he get a third tail?"

Sophie began picking at his tails and he spun around.

"It must have happened recently. Do they just... Grow, like that?"

While she was distracted, I kissed Sophie. I then turned to my next victim and kissed Riksa. They both had bright smiles on. I raised a brow.

"What? Is something wrong?"

Sophie asked.

"I was waiting to see you two kiss. Aren't you two technically married now, too?"

"Ehh..."

She was embarrassed.

"I'm kidding, you don't have to..."

Riksa went in for the kill. I think their kiss lasted longer than any of mine.

"Careful there, you might make me jealous."

*WHAM*

Goby ran back into Sophie's bag. The girls were startled pretty good. They went down to the floor when it happened. They simply peeked over the top of the bed at the door. I looked behind me, Wab had slammed the door open.

"Oops, I didn't think the door would hit the wall so hard. Good news, everyone!"

I chuckled under my breath. A line from one of my favorite cartoons. Both of the girls got up off of the floor and sat across from me on Sophie's bed.

"I found the guy. You can go see the Guru at mid-day. Let's get some breakfast before then... Hey, what are you all doing in here? Were you two just on the floor?"

"NOTHING!"

Both of the girls almost screamed out.

"Yeah, we weren't doing much really. Talking, sharing feelings, making marital promises, lounging around."

Before Wab could respond, Riksa slapped my shoulder and Sophie kicked my shin. Riksa won the contest of who could cause more pain.

Wab relaxed and continued.

"Yeah, nothing specia... WHAT!?"