Nightmares

I am immobile, every muscle I try to move in my body is proving to be a failure. Where am I? I look around and the streets are empty and there's darkness everywhere. My whole body hurts like I have been hit by something. Am barefoot and when I scan my body, I can see my clothes are filthy as though I've been in the same clothes for months on the streets. I bet I look helpless to any passerby without a doubt. Suddenly , I see it , my dad's car crashing into a truck sending them flying to the other side of the road. I can hear their cries for help but I'm stuck.My

"Mum, dad" I scream but my voice is groggy making it hard for me to be heard. Tears flowing down my cheeks, not been able to move or call for help, useless is an understatement of what I'm feeling right now.

Why isn't anyone calling an ambulance ?

Looking around again, I see him but not his face. He looks around in search of something or someone and when his gaze meets mine, he chuckles deeply.

That laughter makes me weak , powerless and makes me shudder in fear. Screaming is not an option as it is , this place seems deserted.

With long strides, he stands in front of me , his frame towering over mine and he is wearing a mask which doesn't make it easier. He touches my shoulders making me shiver and I feel intimidated under his gaze.

"I miss your body so much " he whispers with a raspy voice. He starts touching my chest and my breath hitches and gets caught in my throat. I feel like I might pee myself anytime soon.

Different scenarios run through my mind at this point in time. Just as he is about to go down further, he stops and whispers degrading words into my ear

" But you are filthy , tainted, useless, a nobody, a whore, " my heart is thumping in my chest and he continues with his torment " look at you, you can not even call for help or save your parents. You are so pathetic and no one can love you" with that I start screaming and punching his chest even though it feels like it's made out of metal. I start kicking in every direction as my anger takes control and my body starts to shake.

"Shay, Shay" someone's calling my name but my concentration is on one person and it's the man standing in front of me. My arms are suddenly pinned to my sides and that person hugs me tightly. Why is he hugging me?

"Shayna, wake up baby. It's a dream , open your eyes for me my bunny"

slowly peeling my eyeliy open, I look around and i notice I'm in my room, on my bed sweating while crying. Mum is placing kisses on my forehead and I hug her back tightly.

" Im scared" I say while crying my eyes out .

"Shhhhh shush my baby, I'm here for you " oit was another nightmare just like the ones I have each and every single day.

I woke up to the sound of someone singing. Urgh. Who else apart from my lovely mum? I must have slept again and all the memories of one of my episodes come rushing back.

After spreading my bed and arranging the pillows, I place one of my favorite outfit which consists of tights and a baggy t-shirt on my well spread neat bed and place everything I'm order. I go to my bathroom for a well needed shower. I do my morning routine and think about yazz and her plans.

Some people complain claiming I wear a lot of tights but I feel comfortable and look good in them with my big booty especially when the fabric is so soft. I smirk as I look at myself in the mirror, I brush my eyebrows and add a little eyebrow gel and lip gloss on my lips. I definitely look like a snack hahaha what a joke? Im the last person a man would look at.

As I walk into the kitchen, all my nose can do is sniff the aroma coming from there. Well well well, I forgot my mum is the best chef in the world. Just kidding but to me , she is. She doesn't know I'm in the kitchen because she is so engrossed in the food she's preparing while humming to a tune. I hug her from behind , kiss her cheek and place my head on her shoulder mmmmmm it's so good to have her. A mother always has that warmth that radiates from her and it gives you so much comfort.

" Good morning my bunny , how are you?" I know she's asking about what happened earlier but I do not want to discuss it. Instead, I do not tell her but reply

" I'm fine and how are you?"

" Im good especially now that I've seen you" she nonchalantly responds.

I look at what she's making and I see pancakes, muffins, toasted bread, fried eggs, bacon and juice on the table. I prepare myself a hot chocolate and coffee for mum before taking my seat.

Mum says Grace and as soon as she's done, I dig into my food. Mmmmm I can't help but moan with my eyes closed. I hear laughter and I open my eyes only to realize what I was doing. I can't help but blush , my caramel skin never hides it. Caramel? Yes I am , with black, long curly hair that falls to my back but always in a top messy bun.

I wish my parents were her to see the woman I'm becoming. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear mum calling my name. I look at he and she has a worried look on her face.

" Shayna are you okay? I've been calling you but your mind seems to be somewhere else?"

I hide my thoughts with a smile on my " I'm fine mum , I was just thinking about you. " she raises her eyebrow in question

" and what about me?"

" You are amazing" I reply to which she smiles happily.

" Are you going out today, seeing as it is a Saturday?" She asks.

"Yeah mum, I'm going to the mall with yazz the whole day and I might spend the night at her house."

" Okay baby, just be careful people can be cunning"

"Yes mum and I should stay out of trouble" I finish the sentence on her bahalf.

After breakfast, I wash the dishes and clean all the surfaces. Just as I'm about to finish , my phone goes off. I check and see a message from yazz asking if I'm to which I reply with "I'm ready" and ask where we will be meeting. I place my phone on the kitchen island and finish up with everything. A minute later she replies saying we should meet at Edgar's.

I go up to my room to grab my clutch and make my way back downstairs to the living room. I see mum watching TV.

"Mum I'll see you later"

"Take care of yourself bunny" and I kiss her cheeks .

"Love you" I shout while walking out of the door , getting into my car and i hit the road.